stupid freaking spider
UGH.
I have this theory that bad things come in threes. Like this morning.
Numero uno: Get out of bed, actually awake and not groggy. Pick up cat who is meowing plaintively and walk into the bathroom. Cat's thought process. "Hm, that shoulder looks mighty tasty. Maybe I will try it. CHOMP!" Cat gets flung across the room. Have the start of a bruise on my shoulder in the shape of my cat's mouth. Hopefully cat is not turning into a human eater.
Numero due: Turn to sink after ejecting cat from arms, so that I can put contacts in to see. GIGANTIC FUCKING SPIDER IS IN THE SINK. Freak out. Cat who was recently ejected spins out of bedroom because of freak out. Thanks, cat. You're supposed to be a bug killer. Start trying to drown the spider. Can barely see. Freakishly long legs are moving really fast, and now I'm squealing and freaking out even more. Turn water on full blast and start dumping gigantic cupfuls of water on spider in hopes that it will go down the drain. Spider finally goes down drain. Let water run on full force for five full minutes while standing as far away from the counter as possible to put contacts in and brush my teeth. Plug drain. Go to get in the shower. SIlverfish in other sink. fakdfja;dfja;dkfd. Good thing they don't creep me out like spiders. Wash down sink, plug drain. Check shower. Clear.
Numero tre: Am now cautiously checking all surfaces and realize that in my caution am running way late. Throw on clothes. On way out the door, realize that the white pants that my sister gave me are completely see through. Fantastic. Have to completely change. Supposed to be at work at 8AM. Leaving apartment at 7:56. Still, only 5 minutes late. Good thing about leaving that late, I guess.
AND, I completely forgot that this is Mardi Gras break for the students, so NO ONE is on campus. Alone in office. Bleh.
I have this theory that bad things come in threes. Like this morning.
Numero uno: Get out of bed, actually awake and not groggy. Pick up cat who is meowing plaintively and walk into the bathroom. Cat's thought process. "Hm, that shoulder looks mighty tasty. Maybe I will try it. CHOMP!" Cat gets flung across the room. Have the start of a bruise on my shoulder in the shape of my cat's mouth. Hopefully cat is not turning into a human eater.
Numero due: Turn to sink after ejecting cat from arms, so that I can put contacts in to see. GIGANTIC FUCKING SPIDER IS IN THE SINK. Freak out. Cat who was recently ejected spins out of bedroom because of freak out. Thanks, cat. You're supposed to be a bug killer. Start trying to drown the spider. Can barely see. Freakishly long legs are moving really fast, and now I'm squealing and freaking out even more. Turn water on full blast and start dumping gigantic cupfuls of water on spider in hopes that it will go down the drain. Spider finally goes down drain. Let water run on full force for five full minutes while standing as far away from the counter as possible to put contacts in and brush my teeth. Plug drain. Go to get in the shower. SIlverfish in other sink. fakdfja;dfja;dkfd. Good thing they don't creep me out like spiders. Wash down sink, plug drain. Check shower. Clear.
Numero tre: Am now cautiously checking all surfaces and realize that in my caution am running way late. Throw on clothes. On way out the door, realize that the white pants that my sister gave me are completely see through. Fantastic. Have to completely change. Supposed to be at work at 8AM. Leaving apartment at 7:56. Still, only 5 minutes late. Good thing about leaving that late, I guess.
AND, I completely forgot that this is Mardi Gras break for the students, so NO ONE is on campus. Alone in office. Bleh.