got my hopes up
i am just sick of guys. i'm serious. i mean the ones i want. they are taken or live busy lives. the boy. he's busy. and too cocky for me anyway. it hurts, bc it was so much fun. like talking online and making out the next day. but ya know i don't need anyone. i don't. it would just be nice to meet someone willing to possibly be there for me. i guess i should become a lesbian. lol. fuck. and we hung w travis. and of course i made out w him too. two guys in two days. but i made it very clear to him i'm not ready for anything. in fact i forgot other boy's pic was on my desktop, and we stopped here to get my car and pee. and travis knows him. fuck. i felt bad. i mean it's not like travis isn't amazing, but i just don't want to be the center of someone's world. i get scared on that pedestal. i'm not perfect... far from it, and i'm just a normal, avg girl. and the new boy, it was just fun and easy for a few. now he says he wants to take me to dinner but still doesn't know when. and i say fuck it all. i'm tired of being nice and polite. i have a really great heart, and someone will fucking deserve it. just haven't managed to fine someone worthy of it.
the thing is. i wanted to stay single. i don't want to fall in love. i really just want to be happy on my own and independent. i suppose its good things didn't work out. i mean, i really just need to be me. i get lost in a relationship. i love being w someone and learning all the quirky things that make them tick. i'm a very complicated person, and i need someone just as complex. grrr.
good things come to those who wait. well i'm still waiting. and my number is sure to come up soon, yeah? it would have been nice for someone to get me. like really get me. but fuck most of the time i don't even get myself. who the fuck would fall in love w me. ok that's all. i'm getting more depressed w every word.
cig now.
blunt later. homies help me. i'm nursing a crushed heart. fuck me up so i can't remember this bull shit. why have i not become a cold hearted bitch. bc i try not to generalize... but guys are fuckin dicks.
and i must get rid of some chairs, nobi. toooooday.
the thing is. i wanted to stay single. i don't want to fall in love. i really just want to be happy on my own and independent. i suppose its good things didn't work out. i mean, i really just need to be me. i get lost in a relationship. i love being w someone and learning all the quirky things that make them tick. i'm a very complicated person, and i need someone just as complex. grrr.
good things come to those who wait. well i'm still waiting. and my number is sure to come up soon, yeah? it would have been nice for someone to get me. like really get me. but fuck most of the time i don't even get myself. who the fuck would fall in love w me. ok that's all. i'm getting more depressed w every word.
cig now.
blunt later. homies help me. i'm nursing a crushed heart. fuck me up so i can't remember this bull shit. why have i not become a cold hearted bitch. bc i try not to generalize... but guys are fuckin dicks.
and i must get rid of some chairs, nobi. toooooday.