Feeling weird...
I've been updating a lot lately...it seems as though this is the one and only way I can truly express how I'm feeling...I just got back from Jordan's funeral...it was the most depressing thing I've experienced in a while...there was about 200-250 people there half of them being from our school. We were all standing there crying listening to the rabbi speak of how Jordan won't be back and how he loved everyone and was loved by everyone. To my suprise, the burial service was conducted even with all of us there...I kinda thought it was only for the family..but we went out there...and watched as they buried Jordan...it was the most emotionally indescribable feeling I have ever felt. While others started to leave for whatever reason...I stayed..along wit Alex Kayla n Chris...until we couldn't see Jordan's casket anymore. I said my last goodbyes and stood there staring at his grave..I don't know why but I still felt as though Jordan would pop up any minute now and say "hey!"..or maybe I wished too hard. We stayed until the very end, then started heading back when all of a sudden it started to thunder n rain. It poured down on us but shit..we didn't care...I'm sure it was Jordan saying goodbye as well. Now I sit here at home...gazing out cuz I don't know what to think...and I finally fuckin realize that you NEVER know how much you care for someone or love someone until their gone. You just have so many regrets towards what you should of said or done and it just makes you crazy thinking about it. But then at the same time...I realize that sometimes it's best that you let go even if it means a lot to you...because it's better for both of us in a way you know? I just wish things could of been different...but you dont always get what you want...and shit doesnt always happen the way it should or you'd want it to. So join me guys...we'll forever miss and remember Jordan...but let's let him go in peace like he deserves. We'll all see him one day again sooner or later. Come on...he's not gone...a good guy like him sticks around forever in our hearts. But for now, R.I.P Jordan.