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So v-day came and went. I dressed super fly and ended up drinking memosas with D and his hipster friends and had a pleasant evening, but nothing more than that. A platonic night, but not still enjoyable all the same.
two nights later i confessed my feelings for him
it went... well, but we're not an item - nor is there any big rush on either of our parts to become one. I told him pretty much everything, how i've been crushing on him for a long while, and how i've been scared to say anything because more than anything i don't want our friendship to disolve because i took it too far. He seemed very pleased (and a little dumbfounded) but in the end he's not ready for a relationship and i respect that. I figure he's still at least interested and if it's going to happen, it's going to happen so there's no point in rushing it and spoiling a really awesome relationship that we've spent so much time building together. we sat in his truck in my driveway for hours talking that night, just hashing out our quirks, our feelings, our dreams, our pasts, our presents, all the issues we have with our families... all the reasons why we are the way we are and at the end of it all we are so much closer that i'm so grateful it's not awkward or weird or anything like that. it's like we understand each other on a deeper level than just what we see for ourselves and there's no pretenses. he knows and now i don't have to hide it or make excuses for why i'm blushing or why i'm so happy to see him or why I make sure to spend time with him. he knows that i love him, just not in those words.
since then, not a whole lot else has happened all around. I ended up missing the kastenlauf because my vehicle disappeared and never made it back that day, and i'm still really annoyed about it cause I was stoked to go.
OH! we finally started our grievances into motion at the library, so hopefully somebody will be able to sort out all the bullshit that we've been putting up with because our managers are too lazy or too corrupt to do right. so that's exciting :)
all in all, i'm just very grateful for my kayla for being my rock, my D for being my stars and my sudden burst of self assurance for tying it all together.
I'll update more soon, but for now...