Stress.
I can never tell when stress is hitting me, but I sometimes get very very anxious, like right now. It's ALMOST finals (next week) and I've never had a quarter as busy as this one before. Basically from today on:
Thursday: art history essay due -60% done
Friday: Lab report - 0% done; Lab Final - 0% studied
next Tuesday- physiology final
next Wednesday - Bioclock final; Research lab orientation
Doesn't look too bad but I need step it up. The only class I secured an A for is possibly art history, which I could care less about. My lab class, I'm bordering a low A so I need to exceed on the report and final. My physiology final is 60% of my grade, hell even if I have an A in that class right now, there is no room for error. Bioclock class is a bitch to study for, I only took it to boost my gpa and now look at were I'm at. I really wish I didn't take it, like... I really wish I didn't.
This quarter has just been a wreck on my life. I've had many days where I stayed on campus from 9am-9pm or longer. Earliest I end everyday is 5pm, and whenever I get home I am seriously exhausted. Mentally and physically exhausted. On top of which, I have billions of shit to study, or read. I just recently piled on a research lab for my life, on top of work, on top of being an officer for my club, on top of friggin hard classes. All of this I wanted a quarter ago. I wanted my senior year of college to be so insanely busy so I'm prepared for graduation and medical school. But looking lack it feels kind of meaningless. Sure, everything will look excellent when I apply for med school, but my life is a drone right now. I have no time for myself. Every time I take out the time to enjoy life a little, I feel guilty about wasting the time. More likely than not, there is always something that needs to be done. And even if there isn't, that just means I need to find something to do.
I'm just so burnt out and tired of everything right now. I need a vacation where I can just take my mind off things and lounge around without feeling guilty. I want to be able to wake up when the sun's up and come home before it's pitch black. I want my life to not be dependent on those three little numbers called my gpa.
Speaking of my gpa, it's really pathetic that I have to value my life on these numbers. None the other majors has to care much EXCEPT pre-health students. These three little numbers x.xx dictates half of what my life is worth in college. The numbers from my Mcat accounts the other half. Of course people talk about all these extra circs I have to do before I apply, but they hardly count as much as those numbers. I really wish my life would stop being dependent on numbers on a screen or paper.
What it all comes down to is that I chose this path for myself. I brought this upon myself and I shouldn't complain about it.
But as of right now, my mind is deep fried and served. Somebody get me a chill pill please :(.
Thursday: art history essay due -60% done
Friday: Lab report - 0% done; Lab Final - 0% studied
next Tuesday- physiology final
next Wednesday - Bioclock final; Research lab orientation
Doesn't look too bad but I need step it up. The only class I secured an A for is possibly art history, which I could care less about. My lab class, I'm bordering a low A so I need to exceed on the report and final. My physiology final is 60% of my grade, hell even if I have an A in that class right now, there is no room for error. Bioclock class is a bitch to study for, I only took it to boost my gpa and now look at were I'm at. I really wish I didn't take it, like... I really wish I didn't.
This quarter has just been a wreck on my life. I've had many days where I stayed on campus from 9am-9pm or longer. Earliest I end everyday is 5pm, and whenever I get home I am seriously exhausted. Mentally and physically exhausted. On top of which, I have billions of shit to study, or read. I just recently piled on a research lab for my life, on top of work, on top of being an officer for my club, on top of friggin hard classes. All of this I wanted a quarter ago. I wanted my senior year of college to be so insanely busy so I'm prepared for graduation and medical school. But looking lack it feels kind of meaningless. Sure, everything will look excellent when I apply for med school, but my life is a drone right now. I have no time for myself. Every time I take out the time to enjoy life a little, I feel guilty about wasting the time. More likely than not, there is always something that needs to be done. And even if there isn't, that just means I need to find something to do.
I'm just so burnt out and tired of everything right now. I need a vacation where I can just take my mind off things and lounge around without feeling guilty. I want to be able to wake up when the sun's up and come home before it's pitch black. I want my life to not be dependent on those three little numbers called my gpa.
Speaking of my gpa, it's really pathetic that I have to value my life on these numbers. None the other majors has to care much EXCEPT pre-health students. These three little numbers x.xx dictates half of what my life is worth in college. The numbers from my Mcat accounts the other half. Of course people talk about all these extra circs I have to do before I apply, but they hardly count as much as those numbers. I really wish my life would stop being dependent on numbers on a screen or paper.
What it all comes down to is that I chose this path for myself. I brought this upon myself and I shouldn't complain about it.
But as of right now, my mind is deep fried and served. Somebody get me a chill pill please :(.