Fic: I Believe
Title: I Believe
Rating: NC-17
Summery: I don't believe in chance. I don't believe you can resist the things that make no sense.
Disclaimer: Me no own, you no Casue... wait.. I mean.. sue? Yeah sue. You no sue mees.
Feedback: Would be lovely.
Series: I Live
A/N: First fic for Suspian/Casue, whatever the inclination. It's gone through some polishing. Finally posting it on here, due to it's about time... This was the first thing I'd written fandom-wise in quite a few years. Three in fact.
"I do not believe in chance," Caspian must have heard her approach as he leaned on his forearms against the balcony, staring up at the stars.
Coming to stand beside him, her own head tipped back, "What makes you say that?"
He was quiet for a moment before turning to glance at her, his espresso eyes glittering darkly in the torchlight. A hand reached out tucking a strand of Susan's hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering, and still he didn't elaborate. It took much of Susan's self control to not flinch at the soft touch, unused to the feelings fluttering in her belly, the way she once was. In some time long ago, when she had first lived in Narnia she had been comfortable with the amorous attentions of suitors - but something was different this time. This time Susan wanted more than anything for Caspian's caress to turn fevered, demanding. Possessive. And that was no longer familiar to her.
Some of it must have flashed over her face, because the corners of his mouth tightened into an almost smile. Often it seemed as though the two of them were stuck orbiting eachother, at one moment so near, so close that their lips almost touched; while others it was as though worlds seperated them. Susan wondered if they'ed ever be able to share the same path, even if it was for a short time.
"Caspian, what makes you not believe in chance?" trying to prompt him, to bring him out of the shell he had erected around himself in just a few seconds.
Shaking his head, he sighed then looked back at the night sky, the moonlight gilding his dusky skin in silver, "I never was one to believe in prophecy, because the thought that something greater than man existed was foreign." His hand came back to cup her cheek, a thumb brushing over the curve, "But now I know that there is Aslan, who has a plan for us all." Taking a deep breath and exhaling it, as though he were trying to gain strength from the action, "If everything happens for a reason, all that has passed was in His plans. My father's death, my uncle's betrayal. Everything. It was no mere happenstance that I was born, that I came to posess your horn, my Queen. So - there is no chance."
Stepping closer to him, to feel his bodyheat, uncaring of how forward it made her appear, Susan was relieved when he wrapped an arm about her waist, understanding of his meaning dawning. They stood there what felt like forever, but she didn't care, his hand on her hip, tucked in tight to his side, his steady heartbeat thruming in her ear where it was pressed against his chest. For these minutes were heaven, peace surrounding them, much like his scent of forest, loam and something all Caspian that eveloped her senses.
"Su, are you in here?" Edmund's voice was quiet and broke her reverie.
Disappointed when Caspian pulled away, stepping a respectful distance from Susan, as Edmund came around the corner his face concerned.
Turning to smile at her younger brother, "I'm here."
Caspian bowed politely to Edmund, "Your Majesty," then to Susan, "my Queen - I bid you both good evening," as he began to withdraw from the balcony to leave Susan and Edmund in private.
"Nonsense," Edmund caught Caspian's arm, preventing him from leaving, "I wanted to warn you that Peter's on the warpath. A bit into his cups, so the two of you should be... careful."
Susan frowned, "What is that idiot doing now?"
Edmund shrugged, even as he gave Caspian a gentle shove so he was once again next to Susan, "Complaining to Reepicheep - and anyone else who'll listen for that matter - about the fact that life is unfair because he's," an amused gesture at Caspian, "usurping all of his duties."
Caspian shook his head not understanding, "I do not see what I have stolen from him. High King Peter is a man I hold in the utmost regard."
Susan wondered how he managed to say that with a straight face, because she had heard Caspian pace about doing some ranting of his own when he thought no one was within hearing range. Smothering a laugh at Edmund's own face that let his own thoughts on Caspian's statement be known, Susan shook her head, "Peter can be an ass." Laying a hand on Caspian's forearm, looking up at him, "But it's not likely it's personal, he just isn't happy unless he has something to harp on."
Muttering, as he cupped his chin, gaze focused on the flagstones, "It's a shame that I'm not the eldest, because then you could ask me and I'd say yes."
"Pardon me, King Edmund, but I do not follow?" Caspian's face scrunched up in confusion, even as Susan tried to figure out what Edmund was on about.
But from years of living with her brother Susan knew he was quite random at times, his statements seeming to come from nowhere, but once Edmund realized that not everyone was party to the conversations in his mind, his utterances would make more sense after a bit of explaining.
Giving himself a shake, "Oh sorry. I meant it's too bad you can't ask me for Susan's hand, life would be certainly easier."
At that Susan became offended, what did they think she was, some bargaining chip to bandy about, with no will of it's own? She was a queen, and had been for far longer than most had been alive. To think that both of them thought she'd need Peter's approval in any man she chose - the nerve! A tiny part of her mind sighed in resignation as the buoyant feeling of the evening sliped away, as Susan struggled to maintain a grip on her temper.
Neither her brother nor Caspian noticed as they had sunk into some conversation in trying to figure out how to make Peter more amenable to the idea, as Susan stood there dumbstruck. Unable to believe that Edmund - sweet, considerate, sarcastic, and wise beyond his years Edmund - was speaking as though she was no longer in the room; or that Caspian - who had always been courteous, and more than willing to treat her with the same equality he did her brothers, was being just as thoughtless, she bit her lip until it almost bled holding in a shout of irritation.
Clearing her throat to try and get their attention, she decided to wait a moment more, but no they weren't being reasonable. Both continued as though there was nothing wrong at all with their behaviour. With a final roll of her eyes, Susan didn't bother with a 'good night', her skirts swirling as she left.
The startled, "Su!" and "My Queen?" that came from behind her, almost brought Susan to a halt. Pursing her lips she shrugged and continued down the hall, ignoring the hurried steps that followed. Now normally Susan was far too levelheaded, but truly this was just too much - she had thought that Edmund at least would have remembered how it angered her when others spoke of her future as though she had no say in it. How many bullheaded suitors had she turned away in her life for the simple reason that they were oafs who would never consider her more than a decoration? Too many to count. And how many suitors who wouldn't be turned away had Edmund faced just to get the point across? Again - too many to count. So she thought that at least Edmund wouldn't ever treat her that way, but apparently even he could be a man sometimes.
"My Queen?" a hand landed on her shoulder, bringing her about.
Cocking her head at Caspian, her dark waves slithering over a shoulder, covering his swarthy hand, "Yes King Caspian?"
Susan's voice was stern, and steady as she desperately fought against the irrational anger welling up inside. By Aslan did she ever hate being a teenager, all those surges of temperament made staying in control of all her actions so difficult!
"If I have offended you in some manner, please, my Queen, my humblest of appologies," as he began to sink to a knee and Susan was almost ready to throw her hands up in the air.
Why did he have to be so damnably charming?! Did he have a line for everything? Aslan must have granted him a tongue of many precious metals for him to be able to say such things and not sound a complete cad. Rubbing her temples she didn't look at him, taking several deep breaths to calm herself.
"My Queen?" it was soft, his voice strained as Susan remained silent. "I beg of you my Queen, tell me what I have done to anger you so, so that I may remedy it. I wish only to see you smile, and for what I have done wrong, you must tell me what it is, so that a just punishment can be formulated."
Cracking an eyelid, Susan glanced down seeing Caspian, on bended knee, one hand raised slightly, the other resting over his heart. Suddenly the image was just too funny. Throwing her head back in a pealing laugh, a hand flying to her neck, the other waving him to stand up.
Caspian was beyond befuddled, his face so sweet, with brows drawn tight over his nose, gaze very worried as he eyed her.
His hand came to rest on her elbow, as though to keep her from falling over, "My Queen are you quite alright?"
Shaking her head as she continued to laugh, burying her face in his chest, "No, no nothing's wrong Caspian. It's just... you're like something from Shakespeare, some flowery knight in shining armour, begging forgiveness for no other reason than you feel that you should." Her fingers went to the nape of his neck, weaving into the curls there, wondering at the softness of them, "It just struck me as amusing, how many girls sigh and dream over having a Prince Charming of their very own." His arms hesitantly wrapped around her, and Susan tipped her face back to look up at him, "But I don't think Prince Charming has anything on you."
The touch of her fingers on his neck was unnerving him, the caress far more intimate than the mostly courtly ones that comprised the bulk of their physical interactions, she could tell by how his eyes darkened and how his jaw clenched and unclenched rhythmically.
"I do not know who this Prince is you have mentioned," he swallowed as his hands tightened at her back, pressing her closer, "but I know only that I belong to you more surely than this man may." The look on Caspian's face was fierce, the veneer of polished aristocracy thin as he leaned closer, his eyes boring into hers, "And I shall prove it in whatever fashion you deem necessary my Queen, for I shall not loose you to some upstart!"
This was what she wanted, to see the man beneath the words, the glimpses he gave so often without realizing it. As unsure as Caspian had seemed at times, as young and untried, the true man, the king, the invader, the Telmarine was just waiting underneath the surface and Susan had wanted to see if he'd allow her a clear look at him. At this moment it was undeniable how male he was, at how different he was from any of the suitors of her past. For all his wildness that rested in his heart, all the raw strength and demand, made his ability to be gentle that much more miraculous. Caspian was a man without guile, even if he was extremely cunning at times, and earnest beyond belief. And Susan wanted him, needed him in more ways than the physical, though she didn't want to admit that yet.
Flames were reflected in his onyx eyes from the torches in the hall, and for a moment Susan thought she would be consumed by the heat in his gaze. Apparently she was taking too long to respond to his statement, because his face settled back into their customary calm lines, a veil thrown over him once more. Susan could feel him pulling away, his grip on her slackening.
"No," and she was amazed that her voice could sound so feral as she tugged him back to her. "Don't you back away from me," her fingers spasmed at his nape, tangling harder in his hair.
Surprise flashed over him once again, his brows bouncing up on his forehead. Susan willed him to look in her eyes, to see what was there, to see the woman. It was readily apparent when he became aware of the lioness beneath, the warrior queen who stood at his side at Aslan's How, the woman who had killed when necessary, protected all that she could, because his own untamed nature came roaring back.
"My Queen," and it was hoarse, reverant, and thankful at the same time.
Smiling at him, "Am I some prize for you to fight over?"
"No," his face drifted closer to hers, and she could feel his breath hot on her face, "No my Queen you are no prize to fight over."
"Am I some creature to tame?" her own words sinking down to a sultry level that only their proximity allowed him to hear.
"No my Queen you are not some creature to tame."
"Mmmthen tell me this Telmarine - what am I?" her lips bare millimeters from his, waiting to see what would happen, how far she could push him before he was once again that barbarian invader.
"You are my Queen," before his mouth covered hers, devouring her lips with his own, tongue thrusting deep into the wet cavern making her moan.
Mingling breath, her hands buried in his hair, holding him to her, attempting to consume as much of him as he was trying to do the same to her, the soft sounds they made standing there in the corridor echoing. Only gradually did Susan come back to herself, and only when Caspian had leaned down, sweeping an arm beneath her knees to hoist her into his arms.
Again Susan laughed at the absurdity of the moment, despite how giddy she was feeling.
"Did I do something humorous?" Caspian was beginning to sound exasperated, though too polite to say 'again'.
Pressing a moist kiss to the side of his neck, "No, but every girl wants to be swept off her feet at some point."
He merely grunted as he strode carrying her off. Caspian didn't even pause at Susan's room, but continued unerringly to his where he stopped for a moment glowering at the door as though his stare could force it open. Sparing him the trouble of kicking it down - Susan could feel him starting to shift and part of her worried just a tad if he might not actually try such a thing - she leaned over and turned the handle for him. Caspian's leg lashed out shoving it the rest of the way open, to bang loudly, and as it bounced back, again his leg swept out, kicking it closed behind them.
Caspian's face was a battle mask, even as he set her down with the greatest tenderness. The strength of will he displayed as he leashed himself, the temporary madness she'd incited in him bottled up once again.
Leaning back against his door, arms crossed over his chest, his look an inferno under her skin, "My Queen, I would not deny you in any way, but.. I must know something."
Susan turned her back on him, making her way to his bed, nodding at his unspoken question, "Oh I know my way around well enough."
"I believe you have mistook my meaning," he growled, his accent heavy on the words.
Running a hand over her hair, pulling the pin out, so that it cascaded unhindered around her, "Then what was your meaning?"
Sliding his back down the door, to squat watching her, "I would know... your heart." Gesturing towards the bed where she sat, "I would know if this is because I am worthy of your regard, of your... affections, or if it is... something else... a simple desire for an equal."
"Caspian I thought you would have realized by now how I feel," she went over to him, sinking down on her knees, to frame his face with her pale hands.
"You fled when King Edmund and I were speaking of how I should press my suit," he wasn't quite looking at her.
Leaning in to ghost a kiss over the cleft in his chin, "I thought you said you didn't believe in chance."
Still he didn't reach out to touch her, or to look at her, his voice just above a whisper, "I do not, but..." his eyes darted to hers, "there are many who would be better suited to you, no matter what I will or no."
She nuzzled him softly, her fingers rubbing at the short stubble on his jaw, "There have been many men Caspian, who have tried to be in the place you are now. And some who have been." Pulling back to brush the back of her hand over his cheek, "But not a one ever tried to see me as more than the Gentle Queen. No one ever wanted Susan. Think a moment," laying a finger over his lips to still the words in his throat, "how would a man of Calormene, Galma, Telmar - or anywhere you can think of - respond to a woman, a queen, going to war, leading troops as though she were a man?"
His lips twitched, as his gaze turned inwards, and Susan could see the cogs turning in his mind.
Finally he spoke, "They would not approve."
Snorting in an unladylike fashion, "To say the least." Taking his hand, she brought it up to her mouth, the softness of her lips against his roughened fingers a harsh but welcome contrast, "And what do you think of it Caspian?"
His tongue swept over his lips, watching as she held his knuckles to her cheek, "The truth?" rhetorically, "Arousing."
"Why?" it was her turn to be confused - of all the ways he could feel about it, that made little sense to her.
"You do not need to be protected, for you are capable of it yourself," he traced her eyebrows then along her nose, to her chin, following some unmarked path only he could see, with a calloused finger, "Yet you know yourself well enough to accept help when necessary. You know your strengths. And what is more - you trust me to be at your back. As though I am as able to protect you when you are vulnerable as your brothers are." Now he leaned in, nose pressing to her temple, inhaling deeply, "You allow me to see the strength, the weakness, the woman, the Queen." Shivering at how his mouth tickled her cheek, "What is more, you appear to look at me and see what lays hidden inside me that I only want you to see." Caspian sighed as though this was the most important part, "And you do not turn away from it." He reached back, sliding the bolt on his door home, "All of that makes me wish to touch you, to bring you close." Hand sliding through her long locks, pulling her between his spread knees up against his chest, "To kiss you. To... know you... as a man knows a woman. As a husband knows his wife. In all ways."
Susan's pulse was fast, as he kissed a different part of her face and neck with each word, his dexterous digits working on the fastenings of her dress. Slipping her hands inside his doublet, Susan found herself on her back on the cold stone floor just as she was able to touch the soft heat of his skin. Caspian's mouth was everywhere as he lay over Susan, her skirts tangled around their legs as she pulled him against her. Pushing at his shoulders, Susan forced him to lean back just long enough to yank his shirt over his head, her hands sweeping over the tawny skin, thin lines of scars covering his torso. His hands cupped the back of her head as she ran her tongue over one particularly wide scar while he hissed in repressed hunger. In a flash Caspian had her on her back once again, his calloused hands on her ankles, the heavy material of her dress being pushed up slowly, teasingly, as he looked at her through the wavy fall of his bangs.
His pearly white teeth flashed as he smiled, "I will know all of you my... Susan..."
"Will you now...?" her voice sounded breathy even to her, when he reached the sensitive spot behind her knee. "And... shall I know you.. as," unable to contain a fevered gasp once Caspian began to follow his hands exploration of her legs with his hot mouth, "as.. as well?"
There was a moment of wet sucking sounds as Caspian pressed his lips over the soft skin of her inner thigh, and she knew there'd be a blooming rose there in the morning. Tugging on the hem of her skirt so that it was high on her waist, allowing him as much acess as he wished, Susan sighed at the firm massaging of her thighs, urging them to part further.
"Oh you may know me as well as you wish," the contrast of his heavily tanned skin against the creamy translucence of hers was probably one of the most beautiful things Susan had ever seen. That is until Caspian's gaze darted up to watch her face, as he leaned down to nuzzle her cleft softly, his grin wicked.
Reaching down to touch the crown of his head, she urged him to do as he willed, giving up her ever present control. Seeming to understand, Caspian paused, sliding up long enough to kiss her tenderly as she felt him stroke the wetness between her legs with sure fingers. Moaning at the loss of his mouth as he made his way back down to her femininity, parting her lips so that he could touch and kiss the tender folds. His tongue was so hot even against the heat she had building, at the blaze he was feeding with every flick of the wet muscle against Susan's pearl, two long fingers curling and rubbing the inside of her tight channel. Mewling when his velvety lips claimed her clitoris, the sucking firm and steady, Susan didn't even bother holding back the bucking of her hips, one of her thighs pressing against his cheek, the whiskers scraping deliciously on her sensitized flesh.
The flagstones were so cold and hard, Caspian's ministrations so thorough, the world spinning faster and faster around her, Susan felt awash in sensation, even as Caspian rotated his wrist, groaning in time to his touches on her sex, and then everything went still. Susan's world froze in just an instant, everything was pure, and the only thing she could feel was Caspian touching her, over her, surrounding her. With an agonized cry wrung from the depths of her being, Susan came in a rush, her back arched, crystaline blue eyes scrunched closed. Gentle strokes to her fluttering vaginal walls as Caspian helped Susan milk the last of her pleasure from the experience as he lay next to her on the floor, watching her intently,
"Mph," it wasn't very coherent but Susan couldn't bring herself to care, as she rolled into him, with his hand still buried between her thighs.
His chuckle was low and throaty as he withdrew his fingers, "Enjoy that did you?"
Throwing a leg over his, stroking his shoulders and chest, kissing at whatever she could reach as she floated in bliss, as she mumbled, "What do you think?"
He 'hmm'ed softly as he nuzzled his face in her hair, "I think we should move to that convenient bed over there."
Shaking her head, slipping a hand into his trews seeking his manhood, "No, here's good."
"Susan," it was interrupted by his sharp intake of breath once Susan wrapped her fingers over his prick, massaging firmly, "Susan, I..." his lips were on her shoulder as he pressed his face against her, and Susan smiled in triumph. That is until he got a hold of her hand, "Bedeviling woman, stop, give me a moment!"
Pouting, "What?"
Caspian took a minute to center himself, then touched her face, looking deep into her eyes, "I will not insult you by taking you on the floor like some common whore." Susan searched his face, his expression wide open like a book, "No matter how much I want you Susan there is nothing in this world that could incite me to have our first time together be relegated to such a lowly status. You deserve more than that."
To that she had no idea what to say, she hadn't ever thought of it that way before. Maybe because being in his bed meant something, that he wanted her there, that he wanted to treat her as more than a tryst in this moment. He wasn't acting as a potential suitor he was saying that this was more, and the look on his face was terrible and beautiful to behold. Part of Susan had known her own feelings, but had wanted to hide from his even while seeking them out, pushing them to the surface. Susan's hands shook as she touched his lips, his forehead, his nose, cheeks, and chin, this time it being her turn to be in awe.
Swallowing past the lump forming in her throat, weaving their fingers together, "You deserve more too."
His smile was glorious, "Then I suppose my Queen, that means I deserve you - for there is none higher nor better."
Swatting his chest lightly as she laughed, "Charmer!"
With a bounce, Caspian was on his feet, leaning down to scoop her back into his arms for the second time that evening, "As you like it my lady love."
"Oh put me down you silly man!" giggling as he spun on his feet then strode to his bed.
Shaking head head with a grin, "Then I must be silly for you Susan, for a man should be many things for his heart." He paused before setting her on the bed, his eyes closed as he kissed the spot behind her ear, "For you are all things to me. The only thing, the only one, the only queen, and the only air I should breath."
Sighing as she allowed him to place her with as much tenderness as he could muster - which was far more than any man had the right to gather - to kneel at her feet, looking up at her. Resting her hands on the broad expanse of his shoulders as he finished that which he started earlier on the fastenings of her dress, she smiled down at him. This was no fumbling frenzy to disrobe, there was no clumsiness to him whatsoever. It was merely a torturous thing, meant to warm every inch of her being down to her toes. Closing her eyes as he drew the overdress over her head, the blue shift she wore beneath it loosening now that the binding outer layer was gone. Caspian stopped there, and grunted as he leaned back to tug at his boots roughly. Susan started to slip off the bed to assist him but was stopped by a hand and a shake of his head.
"You can help me remove other things," he mumbled as he worked on the other boot then tossed the offending leather over his shoulder.
"Well then hurry up, I want to unwrap you then wrap you up in something different," as she kneeled on all fours on his bed, watching him.
With a flourish and a small bow as he stood up, "Your wish is my command."
Reaching out she grabbed him by his belt, yanking him closer to the edge of the bed, "As it should be," before unlacing his breeches.
It was his turn to whimper as his thickness sprang from the confinement of his pants, and Susan pressed her plump lips to the shaft over and over again, not doing much at all other than seeing what he'd do after too much torture. One hand was in her hair, the other stroking her face, thumb occasionally drifting over to tug on her bottom lip, as he let out quiet little sighs.
"Please," it came out strangled as Susan licked from the base of his cock, stopping just short of the tip.
Watching the hunger etching his features in sharp lines as she parted her lips to wrap around the head, Susan moaned in satisfaction as Caspian threw his head back, mouth hanging open as he gasped for breath with each firm suckle on the sensitive crown. His fingers plunged deeper into her mane, pushing himself further into the wet warmth she offered him, as her tongue slithering around his shaft. It didn't take long before Susan had Caspian gasping for breath, as he tried to pull back, but she was insistent, cupping his velvety sac with one hand, the other working the base of his prick while diligently swallowing around him. Drawing the thick seed from him Susan had a small secret smile to herself as Caspian twitched a final time in her mouth.
Letting out an undignified 'oof' as his knees gave out, Caspian caught himself at the last second, leaning over her, his face hovering above hers.
"My Queen is very talented in many ways, particularly in the department of oratory persuasion," smirking.
Running her hands over his back, feeling all the sinewy strength there, "Well I was known as a great diplomat."
Caspian's brow wrinkled, "I would prefer to not think of that, if at all possible." He took the sting of his words away by kissing her hungrily between sentences, "I know that you are not as driven snow. Nor, nor would I wish you to be such." Susan arched into him, as he pulled her shift down so that he could lave her nipple, "But as a man I would prefer to think of you as mine, and mine alone."
Wrapping her legs around his waist, pushing his pants down further with a delicately arched foot, "I only meant that I'm good with my mouth."
"No arguments there, but are you trying to force me into a war with every country that Narnia treated with while you reigned?" nipping at rosy skin, bringing the nubbin into a pebbled peak.
Taking his hand, sucking on two of his fingers, before she guided them back down to her drenched womanhood, "I didn't mean it that way! Just," bucking herself against his hand as he curled his digits deep inside her again, "just that I'm a - oh never-mind!"
He didn't say anything just chuckled against her flesh, exploring her torso while pleasuring her with his skillful hands to her delight. Murmuring and sighing to one another, Susan was happy once they were truly naked, their hands now unhindered by any trappings except the moonlight that shone through the room's windows. Rolling onto her back, the fire in her blood too much to take unquenched, Susan tugged Caspian over her.
"Please, I can't take anymore, I need you," rubbing the backs of his thighs with her calves, kissing the shell of his ear.
Caspian settled between her legs, while his hands framed her face, thumbs stroking her cheeks, nodding, "And I need you."
Reaching between them, Susan gave him a gentle caress as she guided him to her entrance. Feeling him poised to press in, the sensation familiar yet so different because it was Caspian who was slowly joining with her body. He was so thick, stretching her as he moved inexorably deeper, panting into the side of her neck trying to keep control. Nuzzling at him, her legs moving around his waist, then his thighs and back up, hands studying every dip and curve of his back and shoulders, Susan made quiet sounds trying to feel every bit of him all at once. With a relieved sigh once his dick was all the way inside, pressing at the mouth of her womb, Susan thrust her tongue into his ear, making him buck several times violently groaning in agonized desire.
"Impatient?" Caspian appeared to struggle getting that out.
"For you?" leaning up to claim his mouth, sucking on his bottom lip, still tasting of the remainders of her juices, "Always."
Moving her hips against his, Susan let out a low moan of her own when Caspian circled his pelvis in a slow grind before pulling out gradually. Fingers scrabbling over his back, legs hooking around him tighter attempting to not let him leave. His smile was lupine as he thrust back inside, all the way, the only thing holding Susan in place, the strength of his hands pinning her hips to the bed. Crying out, her eyes started to roll back even as Caspian started up a steady pace that occasionally faltered when she tried to retaliate. But she had willingly ceded control over to him, and wasn't truly intent on taking it back. All she wanted was Caspian - his tenderness, his love, his possessiveness. And she was getting it as he laid himself bare as he slipped in and out of her wet sheath. His chest was crushing her breasts, his strong yet narrow hips rubbing against her inner thighs, his arms surrounding her as he supported himself on his elbows, his taught stomach brushing over her soft one, and she could think of nowhere she'd rather be, or anyone she'd rather be with than Caspian in this very moment. Orgasm curled deep inside her belly with every touch and every shared breath and a distant part of her mind wondered how many lovers marks she would leave on his back, chest and neck. Purring at him as she squeezed her inner walls around his intrusion, she was immensely pleased with that thought. Let the world know he bore her seal on his flesh.
Closer and closer they wound together, tighter until the only thing seperating them was their skin, and the sweat making them slick, gazes locking even as bliss started to well up in a searing wave from where they were joined. She was unaware that she was speaking, but as Susan fell from the heaven in Caspian's eyes, she realized that she was repeating his name, that endearments and promises fell from her lips endlessly, just as they did from him.
Clutching him tight as she tried to regain her mental balance while his hips still plunged erratically against her, panting her name, begging her to allow him to love her for all eternity, Susan tried to sooth him back from his own crash. With a last shudder Caspian collapsed atop Susan, kissing her face reverently. And that is what she drifted off to - his lips on her skin, hands drawing lazy designs, while his spent manhood stayed inside her as long as possible, Caspian's mumbled words echoing and this was the safest she ever felt in her life. In any life.
Jerking awake from the memory Susan looked down at herself in the tub. The rose on her thigh was fading, decaying from the bright scarlet into a dark yellow. His mouth had touched her there. Pressing her fingers to her lips, a tear slipped down her cheek. He had kissed her here. Her bathwater was cold now, much like the side of the bed she thought he would share with her. Holding in a sob, she railed at Aslan - why couldn't she resist the things that made no sense? She was meant to stay by Caspian's side, to love him for all her life. A small splash as she smacked the water with a shaking hand, reaching down to cup her femininity - only he was supposed to fill her. But it wasn't so - she was back in England, and no matter how much she loved Caspian, she couldn't be with him. Slim fingers traced the edge of the mark he'd left on her thigh, tears falling more rapidly with every passing moment, knowing that he would have to find someone else to be his queen. Susan made a quiet vow to herself though, biting her fist as she struggled to breath, that she would love him all her life and that no man would ever touch her again to possibly erase his mark. Even if it was long faded when she died, Susan would cling to every scrap of Caspian she had and never let it go. Because while Caspian's eyes had made her a promise, she couldn't believe in it for no one could ever change Aslan's mind once he'd made a decision.
Even knowing this, his eyes had promised he would be with her forever.