Fic: Lurking In The Shadows - 17 NC17
This is early tonight due to the fact that I am going to a family bbq, and it would wind up bein' posted late as poop if I didn't post it now. So here 'tis.
Title: Lurking in the Shadows - Chapter 17
Author: Rhion
Rating: NC-17
Summary: He wasn't a nice man by any notion of the word. In her eyes he was little more than a robber baron, some goon who overthrew those around him by cunning and might. And he had a terrible temper.
Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue. Put those freakin' lawyers away....
Genre: AU, Suspian. Angst, romance, and happy endings.
AN: Think of this story as SuperDark!Caspian meets Shakespeare while in a large porn store.... While they both have mega boners. Susan is entertained by this fact and decides to take to her part like a duck to water. Shrewish and horny. Yeah. Caspian's not really complaining.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
(Section 17)
Susan felt bad for leaving him, especially when he was sprawled out like so, and arm reached out for where she'd lay, the other over his bellybutton. Getting dressed as quietly as she could, Susan paused once more, kneeling at the side of the bed, just watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. Running the pads of her fingers over his stubbled jaw, Susan smiled to herself. He'd won out of course about the shaving, and his offer to shave her once he could see again had been more than just a touch shocking. Afterall she'd wanted to know - what did she have that he would shave? His response had been.. odd to say the least. And she had no clue how he'd managed to con her into a promise to 'try it out' later. Caspian would want another shave soon, but she frankly liked it where it was right now, just a few days long, a bit past the rough stage. The contrast felt good when he'd kiss her.
"Errands again?" she hadn't realized he was awake.
Leaning over, kissing him because it had become natural, "Yes."
He huffed, lifting his head up and taking off his eye cover, and opening his eyes (which looked normal but so far he'd said he'd only been able to see vague blurs) so he could look at her, "Why do you leave for them so often? Every few days, I would almost say like clockwork, but no one ever tells me the time. Why do you go so long? Should they not only take a few hours? Or do you do it to torture me?" Blinking he sat up, pinning her with his obviously unfocused gaze, "Have I done something to anger you? Is that why? Or is it.. is it that you are disgusted with me for - for this?" waving a hand at his face.
Catching Caspian's wrist, she kissed his palm, "There's alot of things that need to be done, and so I do them. I'm trying to do the things that you feel should be done in caring for your people." Begging him to understand, though Susan couldn't give him all the information, he'd fly into a rage if she did, "I'm trying really hard Caspian to fulfill their needs and yours. Please try and understand that. I'd... I'd really rather just stay right here with you to tell the truth, not go and do these things - "
"What sort of things, tell me!"
"Caspian, please just trust me, okay? Please? I won't do anything to endanger you or the Narnians, not ever," promising him that at least.
He cupped her cheeks, "And yourself? What if what you are doing is dangerous to you?"
"Taking a walk outside is dangerous Caspian, getting into a tub is dangerous, riding a horse - any kind, be it Horse or horse - is dangerous," it was so hard to ease him when Caspian was like this.
"Why do you not tell me?" raking those long fine hands through his hair, "Mph - does Glenstorm know? Does he approve at least?"
"Yes, and you'll have to be satisfied with that Caspian, please just trust us, and when you're back up to a hundred percent - then you can take over fully once more, I swear," resting her cheek on his thigh.
Caspian's face was so unguarded lately, maybe because he couldn't see others and so he must be unaware of how he was looking down at her. It was full of a longing need that she couldn't put name to, or was afraid to. He was right though, sometimes Susan stayed away longer than necessary, just to be free of him. To be free of the strangeness he radiated now, and how all she wanted to do was respond to it. But he was still so angry sometimes, but most of it seemed directed at himself, and not her. Susan just couldn't think about any of it too much or she'd go mad. Having taken care of Caspian so much, being in his presence in a way she'd never been before, Susan was almost becoming comfortable here. Really comfortable. And with the thought that Caspian would never let her go, and that she would be his forever.
That was frightening.
Calloused fingertips were tracing her face, making her sigh, it was how he 'saw' now, but the touch was so soft and not something Susan ever thought Caspian was capable of, that it almost brought tears to her eyes sometimes. Mostly thought it just made her feel uncomfortable - because Caspian wasn't nice, and yet he was more so to her than anyone ever had been before. In very strange ways though. Would Harry Tildsten have killed to keep her safe? Not even remotely likely. Or would Harry have given her something made by his own hands, something for her to use, just because he felt that it would look nice on her? Probably not. There were alot of simple things that Caspian did that at first blush looked like nothing at all, but upon examination implied strange and scary things, things that were also wonderful.
Mostly though lately, he just thrilled and terrified her.
No longer did Susan feel towards him as she should a captor or a rapist or a violator. She had killed for him. Not for the Narnians. But for Caspian. Susan, good, sweet, kind, upright and moral, Susan Pevensie - had killed. In cold blood. With a gift he'd given her. To save him. It was easy to admit she needed him when it had come down to the wire, but now that things were somewhat calmer, could Susan really trust that emotion? And still Caspian's fingers went about memorizing her face.
"You will tell me eventually what it is that you have been doing," it wasn't a request and it wasn't a command but somewhere in between.
Leaning up, Susan kissed Caspian, distracting him from his line of questioning. Susan wasn't sure she could ever tell him, because if he found out he'd have to do something, but she wasn't sure what. So, Susan changed the subject in a way Caspian never seemed to notice as that.
Clothes discarded quickly, and Caspian was kissing her all over. Why did he seem so set on her pleasure so often? But even then Susan sighed, spreading her thighs her lips on her own, knowing he had better things to do with those dexterous hands than keep her open. Dark wavy choclate hair touched her inner thigh and Susan had to stop thinking for a moment, feeling the slick muscle of his tongue skipping this way and that over her sex. He was so fast to work her up, Susan felt that there really should be something wrong with him making her feel so good, but with a gentle hand Susan combed his untamable curls as his tongue slithered inside, swirling and rotating, and it felt so so good. Unbearably wonderful, and Susan was panting, her pale pale skin of her legs rubbing his dark amber-golden-honey flesh.
Electric shocks shot from her nubbin when pulsing suction, wet and loud, was applied skillfully. Whimpering, Susan thrust her hips at Caspian, urging him to greater fervor. But he was going slow for some reason, savouring her. Allowing herself to relax, for there was no real choice in it, if she fought then Caspian would look hurt and that always got him his way (she wondered if he knew that and used it to his advantage?). Caspian could always tell when she gave in, and his grip on her hips softened, lips nibbling at her, the light scratching of his stubble almost uncomfortable but an amazing contrast, and she sighed, her own hands stroking over her breasts and belly. Sooner than she expected Caspian slid up her body, dragging himself over her so she could feel every tight inch of his toned body on hers. But he didn't enter her, just lay atop Susan, covering her like a blanket.
In that moment, Susan felt incredibly safe.
Petting his hair, his shoulders and back - Caspian always made a little sound of pleasure when Susan did that, so she did it as often as possible - Susan wrapped her legs around the backs of his, holding him close. Accepting his weight, and the feeling of security it was giving her.
"You must be careful," his voice vibrated through his chest and into hers, "I have said it many times Susan. But you must."
Apparently she hadn't managed to change the subject very well.
"I'll be as careful as I can be," and he could infer anything he wanted from that statement. For Susan would be cautious - she didn't want to get hurt, but at the same time Susan was really just running out to see the troops, to go along with supplies. To check on them, to let the men know that their Prince thought of them, and that she did too. It was too hard to think of herself as their 'Princess' though even Caspian would give a small smile sometimes when he heard her referred to as that.
Despite the fact that she had to breathe shallowly when Caspian let his entire body weigh on her like this, Susan was enjoying it, and held him to her a long time.
Then Caspian started kissing her, kissing her like there was no tomorrow, like he had to know every inch of her face and mouth. The taste of her essence on his lips almost drove Susan to wildness, the slight salt of it on his cheek and chin, knowing he'd kissed her so intimately, but something held her back. It was all different right now, and she didn't know why. Like in the tent after he'd been rescued, but none of the frenzy. A sigh as his cock pressed inside her sex, moving deep and languid, one of his hands in her hair, the other holding her hips tilted up.
Something about the way Caspian was riding her, more like a crashing wave in how he rose and fell, in how full he made her body feel, was pushing Susan almost outside her mind. Moaning into his mouth Susan met him with each thrust, not demanding, just giving in full turn. The gentle motion was making Susan feel odd, she wanted to feel this more often, but she also didn't know how to handle it. Giving out a soft cry as Caspian continued to stroke that spot inside her femininity, tension building and radiating outwards, and then Susan was saying Caspian's name tenderly, crying it out as she arched only to bring him in further. Harsh groan into her neck and something muttered that she didn't catch, Caspian holding himself to the hilt, and Susan felt his seed splashing on her walls.
Finding herself pulled along with him as Caspian rolled onto his back, laying splayed with his prick slowly softening inside, and Susan couldn't help but let herself drift in the serenity of the moment as his hands smoothed her damp hair from her neck. Really she needed to get up, but it couldn't hurt to just lay here a bit longer...
XXXXXXXXX
Luis was walking along with other Horses, the only difference was that Susan was riding him. To her left there were wagons converted to sleighs hauling repaired weapons and clothes and supplies. Shifting forward in the saddle, Susan debated taking a catnap. She was tired afterall, and this shipment was late due to her having lain with Caspian a last time. With a thick swallow, Susan tried to not think of it as having made love, but it was hard not to. Not when Caspian had acted like that, like she was the only thing he wanted to touch, to be with.
"You're troubled Su," Luis gave her a mild look, a blue eye rolling back.
Tugging the hood of her cloak up further, "Not really."
He tossed his head, mane shaking off a bit of ice crystals, a large snort exhaling steam, "Well then. I'm here when you decide you are."
Feeling guilty atop her already heavy confusion, "What's love do you think?"
Luis froze a moment, a leg in midair, then was placed carefully through the snow, cracking through the ice there, "Interesting question."
"I used to think I knew what it was, but now I'm not sure anymore," staring off into the distance.
"What did you believe it was before?"
Weak laughter, "Wedding bells, white dresses, and black suits with ties, chaste kisses and babies. Doing the laundry and changing dirty nappies, making dinner and breakfast. Sending the husband out with a good lunch. Being.. being 'proper.'" Leaning back, "Being exactly what you're told to be, no room for anything else. I wanted to go to University, but nice middle class girls don't do that. Well, some do, but not in the Pevensie family. Probably because it costs too much, not because it's not 'proper'. At least that's what I think."
"What's University?"
"A school of higher learning, I wanted to become a historian you know," stretching her legs out, standing in the stirrups for a moment, then sitting back down gingerly so as not to jostle Luis too much. "Any book I could find on history, be it China or the Americas, all of it - I read so much that sometimes it felt like my head would pop. I wish I had books to read here, I miss it. It's part of why I go over the orders so much I suppose, why I work so much on the paper end of things. Paper has a scent you know, a lovely scent, a little dry, a little dusty, a lot warm, and just... papery."
"What does love have to do with this Susan?"
Crossing her arms, Susan frowned, "That's just the thing. I don't know anymore. Sometimes, it's like a dream Luis, like none of it was ever real. Then, then I'll remember something clear as day. Like Pete hugging me when I'd go to him with a nightmare, and he'd stay up all night to protect me from bad dreams. Or Lucy crawling into my lap when she was three, holding up her broken dolly. I fixed it for her." Putting her gloved hand to her mouth, Susan tried not to cry, "Or making Turkish delight for Edmund, and I'd thought I'd hidden it really well, but the next day when I went to go get it and give it to him - it was gone. So I went to him, telling him how sorry I was for loosing his birthday present, but he smiled and offered me the last piece. He'd been saving it for later. The little devil had gone and found it..." Huffing, "And others when it's only just the vaguest of shadows, I think that I sprang fully formed that day next to that pool of water."
Susan tipped her head up towards the silver blue gray sky, "Luis I know I loved my family, but what if they weren't real? Does that mean I know nothing in the end? And then.. then who am I? Am I some... thing... some construct.. meant to serve those around me, searching for some kind of meaning, some kind of anchor?"
The Horse was quiet, his ears rotating this way and that as he thought. Venturing, "Even if a fact isn't proven or something that can be proven, but - but Susan, if you felt love for them, then they were real. At least to you. And," a full body twitch, "and whoever, whatever you were, it matters in that you are you now. If you know nothing for certain Susan, know that I love you, you are my friend, and you are my Princess. But first and foremost, you are my friend, more than anything else. My heart swells when you laugh, and when you cry it turns heavy, and all I wish is to carry your burdens and take them from you."
Sighing, "Thank you Luis. That helps, honestly."
For a long time they were quiet and Susan set those fears aside, and tried to figure out what it was that she felt for this place, for its people, and mostly what she felt for Caspian. Because he had become her anchor, and she'd gone above and beyond lengths she'd ever thought herself capable of. And the god awful truth was - she'd do it all again. Over and over if necessary. So many frightening thoughts, and it was a very real fear for Susan, a very real fear that she had gone from needing to help Caspian to needing him, to.. something else entirely. If that's what it was, if that's what the feeling really was - then god help her, for everything else had abandoned her.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Not an errand this time, this time it was more, and Susan's blood was pounding in her temples. What was she doing? This was insane, well and truly, all quite mad. Yet there she was, sneaking through the small wooden gates to the tiny fortification, bow in hand, arrow knocked - and a bevy of troops on her heels. At first this place had looked like it would simply be a camp like any other, but reports of it slowly being fortified had alerted Susan that it was time for another of those 'decisive' actions that Caspian was on about so often. And like an idiot - she was leading.
But Plyonus had gotten the news while she was out and about cheering the troops that this now had a palisade, trenches, and a small lookout tower of wood was being built. That wouldn't do at all, and something rose up in Susan just like the day she'd received word of Caspian's capture, and took control. Orders were cracked out in a rapid-fire stream, while some distant part of Susan thought that just maybe Caspian was rubbing off on her too much. Music wafted on the air, and sentries were taken out by gryphons, the hapless Telmarines throats torn out. Why no one else had thought of using them for that purpose, Susan didn't know. Now, those with hooves had burlap sacking on them to deaden the noise and were moving along going about their bloody work. And Susan was one of them.
"My Lady," Pylonus slipped up next to her, his voice soft, "there is a Telmarine aristo leading them it appears. A horse bears the mark of Lord Sopesbian's son - Inigo."
The name sent a thrill through Susan, "Inigo? Find him, he may be useful to us."
Inigo - the name Caspian had uttered in a resigned anger. What was the story there? Other than the obvious that the son of Sopesbian had been his captor. And, even better, Caspian had said that Inigo's support or lack of could hinder Miraz. Definitely needed to capture him, make it look like he'd defected even... A small twisting of her lips, something that wasn't very nice, but was very satisfied - like the cat who'd eaten the canary, graced Susan's face.
In that moment she was probably very Telmarine for the kind of cunning necessary to come up with that wasn't very Narnian. Nor very nice middle-class English. Because Susan was tempted to extract the pound of flesh from him. Shaking that off for now, Susan waited for word sitting in the middle of the camp as muffled death spread from the outside in. It was hard to stay blank though when a dwarf, covered in blood not his own, passed by on his way to another tent.
The rule she'd enacted for these raids kept though, only one in five was to be killed most times. Though from the numbers she'd received from Grilf, it looked like the minotaur had gone a bit slap-happy and killed half. Either way it sent a message: we can come for you any time - be wary. It scared the villagers, the common people, making them fractcious and difficult for the Lords to keep control of. And then in a few villages, a few tiny hamlets, supplies had arrived by night, in bags all bearing a large 'X' on them.
Caspian the Tenth had not forgotten his people, but would kill the soldiers who followed Miraz and the Lords. It was a careful campaign, one that included slight of hand and discreet timing. Some of the Narnians didn't like it, but it didn't matter - the Telmarine people were Narnians too, and Susan would make sure they were treated as such. Soldiers were fair game, but the commoners were to be kept as safe as possible. And of course that didn't always work, a report she'd received for one of these nighttime death sprees told her that over five or six villages that were bunking large quantities of soldiers had been fully subjected to fire. As a purported leader of this, Susan couldn't tolerate that and had punished those responsible harshly. They'd been sent for manual labor until they repented for the sin of killing innocents.
Despite the fact that she understood - for centuries and particularly the last few, the Telmarine peasants had been... Cruel to say the least, to the Narnians when they were stumbled upon. And that builds up alot of anger, alot of distrust, and having such easy targets must have been too much for those captains and their men to handle. But Susan wouldn't allow it, even if Caspian might.
"My Lady," Pylonus was at her elbow.
"Don't call me 'lady' out here Pylonus, secrecy is the word, remember that please," chiding him gently.
He bowed quickly, "Yes m'Lord, I shall lead you to his room, but there's a complication. He has a woman with him - which I thought you may find change whatever your decision is about him."
Nodding, "Yes of course, lead on."
Slipping into the tent behind Pylonus, Susan was drawn up short. The man laying there could have been Caspian's older brother, there were similarities, but for a goatee and long side burns. All of it was neatly trimmed. That was definitely a way to describe the man before her - neat, well oiled, not at all rough around the edges like Caspian. But what shook Susan was how protectively he was curled around a woman, she wasn't very pretty but all the bruises on her were quite faded. The girl was smiling in her sleep, as though she were in the safest place in the world. And Inigo - he too was smiling, though there was a worried crease between his brows.
Turning away Susan couldn't look on any longer.
"Tie them both up, pack their belongings, and bring their horses," there was a tremor to her words, it was easy to see the couple as herself and Caspian, "we take them with us. Unharmed for now."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Susan toed him with a boot, not being cruel, just not being kind, "Wake up."
He grunted and jerked, eyes wild, then narrowed.
Seeing that she had his attention, "Good. I'm going to take your gag off. You can yell but it won't do you any good."
They were in a fallback trench, Pylonus' crew standing guard, and Susan had some questions that needed answering. Inigo's gaze skittered around for a split second and Susan knew when he'd found what he was looking for. His girl was behind her, tied up, but far more gently than him. His relief was palpable, but quickly hidden.
"She's unharmed," reassuring him, yet allowing him to tack on anything he wanted to that statement, though Susan wouldn't let the woman be hurt even for Inigo's crimes. Tugging off his gag, "Now, tell me, what are you doing out here? Do you not have a Holding to govern at this time?"
Inigo glowered, "Are you one of Caspian's lieutenants?"
"Answer my question Inigo," sitting back on her haunches staying cool. There's no way she'd torture him, but if she bluffed her way around made it look like she was so calm, so collected, like she had not a worry in the world - then he'd think her position was vastly superior to his. Susan wasn't above mind-games. That and her time here in a weaker position taught her some things about power-plays that she'd never understood when mentioned in history: weakness can be a strength, and apparent strength and will is just as potent (if not more-so) than actual force. Let his mind chew over his worst fears, let him paint her as capable of them, and she wouldn't have to lift a finger. Nor would she have to have anything distasteful or wrong done to him.
"Miraz killed my father," the man was fighting to stay calm - strange, was she so scary, or was it his fears that made her so?
"So? Infighting amongst the Lords is commonplace. Its why Caspian needs to rule, as rightful Heir he's the only one with the training and strength to keep you dogs in your places," drawing out a honey nut oat ball and taking a bite of it. "You reason isn't good enough," gesturing with the ration, "tell me the truth."
Susan almost added 'or else' but that sounded cheesy even in her own head. That and her studious act of ignoring the presence of the woman seemed to unman Inigo some.
"He killed my father and I lost hold of my captive, if Miraz found out, then he would kill Yasmina," licking his lips.
"Death comes to us all, especially when Miraz holds the reins. Would it be so terrible for Miraz to kill her?" now that was genuine curiosity on her part. What was so horrible about this man that even his loyal subjects quaked? She'd need to know so she could counteract some of his influence. At least if Inigo gave it to her straight, then Susan would make sure he knew Yasmina would stay safe after Caspian was through with him.
He shook his head, "Whose son are you that you do not know of his excesses? Even amongst us he is a terror. Are you fool or foolhardy that you think death at his hands would come easy? Yasmina would be tortured for years, and I would either watch or be forced to join her!"
Susan was surprised - he thought her a boy? Well that was the reason for the getup, but even so, it was meant to only fool the eye when absolutely necessary.
"I'm not from around here," shrugging. "Is she so valuable to you?"
"Please, I know Caspian is harsh, and that no mercy is to be granted for me, but please - she is innocent in this! I fled with her, it is my only hope..." and Susan could see how much that cost him.
How much would it cost Caspian to say something like that? But he never would, not really. It was obvious how much he loved the woman behind her.
"You come to your enemy for mercy?"
"Even if you kill her it will not be as what would happen otherwise," struggling for pride and strength. "But please - she is innocent, I will do anything tell you all I know - so long as it purchases her freedom. Please?"
"I thought love was a disease?" nailing his issue right on the head.
At that Inigo recoiled, looking away, face dark with shame, "To some. To Caspian it is. To many, yes, to very many it is, yet many of us have it anyway." Shining black eyes pinned her, fever bright, "Is it wrong for a mother to love her son? Is it wrong for the son to love his mother? His father? No! It is not, then how is that," jerking his chin towards Yasmina who was just waking up at the volume of his voice, "a disease? Loving her has been the only good spot in my life. Kill me, I do not care, just - do not do as Miraz would. Caspian is your Lord? Is he not? You are one of his lieutenants?" Susan nodded finally, for the young Lord was becoming frantic, impassioned, "Then you know him, you know he is not needlessly cruel! Not at heart! I have wronged him, yes, but I did it for her."
Yasmina was struggling behind her, and Susan glanced at the woman, then with a sigh, moved over to her, "I have not hurt him." Again with a 'not yet' hanging in the air - even if Susan wasn't likely to, Caspian would. Taking hold of Yasmina's hands, "I can't untie you right now, but I will. Would you like a moment alone with Inigo though? To talk?"
The kindness wasn't for the man, but for this woman who was frantic to get to him. It reminded her too closely of her fight to get to Caspian.
Her eyes were frightened wondering if this was some trick, but she plucked up enough courage to nod.
Taking off the gag, Susan got up and walked away for a few steps, listening, but allowing them the illusion of privacy.
"Inigo..."
"Hush, I shall do what needs to be done to keep you safe, Caspian is an honourable man," was it her imagination that made Inigo's voice shake so slightly with fear?
"Life means little without you, he shall torture you," it was heartbroken.
Susan hugged herself, shivering.
"I did the same to him Yasmina, it is his place to do that to me, and so long as he does not punish you, I would die at peace," if only Caspian were capable of such selflessness.
It was convenient to forget how hard he worked for the Narnians, not just for his throne.
"I would die without you," tiny whisper.
Pressing her face into her hands, Susan tried to shut it out.
"Please you cannot! You carry more than just my love," pleading.
"Why did you have to torture him then? Why not just have taken me and fled in the first?"
Silence, "Because Father needed me. And - and if I had not done something to him before delivery, Miraz would suspect too many things..."
A bit of shuffling, scooting so they could get closer, Susan turned to look just enough to make sure they weren't trying anything. That one sight broke Susan though, seeing Yasmina's head buried in his neck, his chin tucked over her crown, an armless embrace. Shuddering, shaking, sick to her stomach, Susan almost fled the scene.
It was all too familiar.
Title: Lurking in the Shadows - Chapter 17
Author: Rhion
Rating: NC-17
Summary: He wasn't a nice man by any notion of the word. In her eyes he was little more than a robber baron, some goon who overthrew those around him by cunning and might. And he had a terrible temper.
Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue. Put those freakin' lawyers away....
Genre: AU, Suspian. Angst, romance, and happy endings.
AN: Think of this story as SuperDark!Caspian meets Shakespeare while in a large porn store.... While they both have mega boners. Susan is entertained by this fact and decides to take to her part like a duck to water. Shrewish and horny. Yeah. Caspian's not really complaining.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
(Section 17)
Susan felt bad for leaving him, especially when he was sprawled out like so, and arm reached out for where she'd lay, the other over his bellybutton. Getting dressed as quietly as she could, Susan paused once more, kneeling at the side of the bed, just watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. Running the pads of her fingers over his stubbled jaw, Susan smiled to herself. He'd won out of course about the shaving, and his offer to shave her once he could see again had been more than just a touch shocking. Afterall she'd wanted to know - what did she have that he would shave? His response had been.. odd to say the least. And she had no clue how he'd managed to con her into a promise to 'try it out' later. Caspian would want another shave soon, but she frankly liked it where it was right now, just a few days long, a bit past the rough stage. The contrast felt good when he'd kiss her.
"Errands again?" she hadn't realized he was awake.
Leaning over, kissing him because it had become natural, "Yes."
He huffed, lifting his head up and taking off his eye cover, and opening his eyes (which looked normal but so far he'd said he'd only been able to see vague blurs) so he could look at her, "Why do you leave for them so often? Every few days, I would almost say like clockwork, but no one ever tells me the time. Why do you go so long? Should they not only take a few hours? Or do you do it to torture me?" Blinking he sat up, pinning her with his obviously unfocused gaze, "Have I done something to anger you? Is that why? Or is it.. is it that you are disgusted with me for - for this?" waving a hand at his face.
Catching Caspian's wrist, she kissed his palm, "There's alot of things that need to be done, and so I do them. I'm trying to do the things that you feel should be done in caring for your people." Begging him to understand, though Susan couldn't give him all the information, he'd fly into a rage if she did, "I'm trying really hard Caspian to fulfill their needs and yours. Please try and understand that. I'd... I'd really rather just stay right here with you to tell the truth, not go and do these things - "
"What sort of things, tell me!"
"Caspian, please just trust me, okay? Please? I won't do anything to endanger you or the Narnians, not ever," promising him that at least.
He cupped her cheeks, "And yourself? What if what you are doing is dangerous to you?"
"Taking a walk outside is dangerous Caspian, getting into a tub is dangerous, riding a horse - any kind, be it Horse or horse - is dangerous," it was so hard to ease him when Caspian was like this.
"Why do you not tell me?" raking those long fine hands through his hair, "Mph - does Glenstorm know? Does he approve at least?"
"Yes, and you'll have to be satisfied with that Caspian, please just trust us, and when you're back up to a hundred percent - then you can take over fully once more, I swear," resting her cheek on his thigh.
Caspian's face was so unguarded lately, maybe because he couldn't see others and so he must be unaware of how he was looking down at her. It was full of a longing need that she couldn't put name to, or was afraid to. He was right though, sometimes Susan stayed away longer than necessary, just to be free of him. To be free of the strangeness he radiated now, and how all she wanted to do was respond to it. But he was still so angry sometimes, but most of it seemed directed at himself, and not her. Susan just couldn't think about any of it too much or she'd go mad. Having taken care of Caspian so much, being in his presence in a way she'd never been before, Susan was almost becoming comfortable here. Really comfortable. And with the thought that Caspian would never let her go, and that she would be his forever.
That was frightening.
Calloused fingertips were tracing her face, making her sigh, it was how he 'saw' now, but the touch was so soft and not something Susan ever thought Caspian was capable of, that it almost brought tears to her eyes sometimes. Mostly thought it just made her feel uncomfortable - because Caspian wasn't nice, and yet he was more so to her than anyone ever had been before. In very strange ways though. Would Harry Tildsten have killed to keep her safe? Not even remotely likely. Or would Harry have given her something made by his own hands, something for her to use, just because he felt that it would look nice on her? Probably not. There were alot of simple things that Caspian did that at first blush looked like nothing at all, but upon examination implied strange and scary things, things that were also wonderful.
Mostly though lately, he just thrilled and terrified her.
No longer did Susan feel towards him as she should a captor or a rapist or a violator. She had killed for him. Not for the Narnians. But for Caspian. Susan, good, sweet, kind, upright and moral, Susan Pevensie - had killed. In cold blood. With a gift he'd given her. To save him. It was easy to admit she needed him when it had come down to the wire, but now that things were somewhat calmer, could Susan really trust that emotion? And still Caspian's fingers went about memorizing her face.
"You will tell me eventually what it is that you have been doing," it wasn't a request and it wasn't a command but somewhere in between.
Leaning up, Susan kissed Caspian, distracting him from his line of questioning. Susan wasn't sure she could ever tell him, because if he found out he'd have to do something, but she wasn't sure what. So, Susan changed the subject in a way Caspian never seemed to notice as that.
Clothes discarded quickly, and Caspian was kissing her all over. Why did he seem so set on her pleasure so often? But even then Susan sighed, spreading her thighs her lips on her own, knowing he had better things to do with those dexterous hands than keep her open. Dark wavy choclate hair touched her inner thigh and Susan had to stop thinking for a moment, feeling the slick muscle of his tongue skipping this way and that over her sex. He was so fast to work her up, Susan felt that there really should be something wrong with him making her feel so good, but with a gentle hand Susan combed his untamable curls as his tongue slithered inside, swirling and rotating, and it felt so so good. Unbearably wonderful, and Susan was panting, her pale pale skin of her legs rubbing his dark amber-golden-honey flesh.
Electric shocks shot from her nubbin when pulsing suction, wet and loud, was applied skillfully. Whimpering, Susan thrust her hips at Caspian, urging him to greater fervor. But he was going slow for some reason, savouring her. Allowing herself to relax, for there was no real choice in it, if she fought then Caspian would look hurt and that always got him his way (she wondered if he knew that and used it to his advantage?). Caspian could always tell when she gave in, and his grip on her hips softened, lips nibbling at her, the light scratching of his stubble almost uncomfortable but an amazing contrast, and she sighed, her own hands stroking over her breasts and belly. Sooner than she expected Caspian slid up her body, dragging himself over her so she could feel every tight inch of his toned body on hers. But he didn't enter her, just lay atop Susan, covering her like a blanket.
In that moment, Susan felt incredibly safe.
Petting his hair, his shoulders and back - Caspian always made a little sound of pleasure when Susan did that, so she did it as often as possible - Susan wrapped her legs around the backs of his, holding him close. Accepting his weight, and the feeling of security it was giving her.
"You must be careful," his voice vibrated through his chest and into hers, "I have said it many times Susan. But you must."
Apparently she hadn't managed to change the subject very well.
"I'll be as careful as I can be," and he could infer anything he wanted from that statement. For Susan would be cautious - she didn't want to get hurt, but at the same time Susan was really just running out to see the troops, to go along with supplies. To check on them, to let the men know that their Prince thought of them, and that she did too. It was too hard to think of herself as their 'Princess' though even Caspian would give a small smile sometimes when he heard her referred to as that.
Despite the fact that she had to breathe shallowly when Caspian let his entire body weigh on her like this, Susan was enjoying it, and held him to her a long time.
Then Caspian started kissing her, kissing her like there was no tomorrow, like he had to know every inch of her face and mouth. The taste of her essence on his lips almost drove Susan to wildness, the slight salt of it on his cheek and chin, knowing he'd kissed her so intimately, but something held her back. It was all different right now, and she didn't know why. Like in the tent after he'd been rescued, but none of the frenzy. A sigh as his cock pressed inside her sex, moving deep and languid, one of his hands in her hair, the other holding her hips tilted up.
Something about the way Caspian was riding her, more like a crashing wave in how he rose and fell, in how full he made her body feel, was pushing Susan almost outside her mind. Moaning into his mouth Susan met him with each thrust, not demanding, just giving in full turn. The gentle motion was making Susan feel odd, she wanted to feel this more often, but she also didn't know how to handle it. Giving out a soft cry as Caspian continued to stroke that spot inside her femininity, tension building and radiating outwards, and then Susan was saying Caspian's name tenderly, crying it out as she arched only to bring him in further. Harsh groan into her neck and something muttered that she didn't catch, Caspian holding himself to the hilt, and Susan felt his seed splashing on her walls.
Finding herself pulled along with him as Caspian rolled onto his back, laying splayed with his prick slowly softening inside, and Susan couldn't help but let herself drift in the serenity of the moment as his hands smoothed her damp hair from her neck. Really she needed to get up, but it couldn't hurt to just lay here a bit longer...
XXXXXXXXX
Luis was walking along with other Horses, the only difference was that Susan was riding him. To her left there were wagons converted to sleighs hauling repaired weapons and clothes and supplies. Shifting forward in the saddle, Susan debated taking a catnap. She was tired afterall, and this shipment was late due to her having lain with Caspian a last time. With a thick swallow, Susan tried to not think of it as having made love, but it was hard not to. Not when Caspian had acted like that, like she was the only thing he wanted to touch, to be with.
"You're troubled Su," Luis gave her a mild look, a blue eye rolling back.
Tugging the hood of her cloak up further, "Not really."
He tossed his head, mane shaking off a bit of ice crystals, a large snort exhaling steam, "Well then. I'm here when you decide you are."
Feeling guilty atop her already heavy confusion, "What's love do you think?"
Luis froze a moment, a leg in midair, then was placed carefully through the snow, cracking through the ice there, "Interesting question."
"I used to think I knew what it was, but now I'm not sure anymore," staring off into the distance.
"What did you believe it was before?"
Weak laughter, "Wedding bells, white dresses, and black suits with ties, chaste kisses and babies. Doing the laundry and changing dirty nappies, making dinner and breakfast. Sending the husband out with a good lunch. Being.. being 'proper.'" Leaning back, "Being exactly what you're told to be, no room for anything else. I wanted to go to University, but nice middle class girls don't do that. Well, some do, but not in the Pevensie family. Probably because it costs too much, not because it's not 'proper'. At least that's what I think."
"What's University?"
"A school of higher learning, I wanted to become a historian you know," stretching her legs out, standing in the stirrups for a moment, then sitting back down gingerly so as not to jostle Luis too much. "Any book I could find on history, be it China or the Americas, all of it - I read so much that sometimes it felt like my head would pop. I wish I had books to read here, I miss it. It's part of why I go over the orders so much I suppose, why I work so much on the paper end of things. Paper has a scent you know, a lovely scent, a little dry, a little dusty, a lot warm, and just... papery."
"What does love have to do with this Susan?"
Crossing her arms, Susan frowned, "That's just the thing. I don't know anymore. Sometimes, it's like a dream Luis, like none of it was ever real. Then, then I'll remember something clear as day. Like Pete hugging me when I'd go to him with a nightmare, and he'd stay up all night to protect me from bad dreams. Or Lucy crawling into my lap when she was three, holding up her broken dolly. I fixed it for her." Putting her gloved hand to her mouth, Susan tried not to cry, "Or making Turkish delight for Edmund, and I'd thought I'd hidden it really well, but the next day when I went to go get it and give it to him - it was gone. So I went to him, telling him how sorry I was for loosing his birthday present, but he smiled and offered me the last piece. He'd been saving it for later. The little devil had gone and found it..." Huffing, "And others when it's only just the vaguest of shadows, I think that I sprang fully formed that day next to that pool of water."
Susan tipped her head up towards the silver blue gray sky, "Luis I know I loved my family, but what if they weren't real? Does that mean I know nothing in the end? And then.. then who am I? Am I some... thing... some construct.. meant to serve those around me, searching for some kind of meaning, some kind of anchor?"
The Horse was quiet, his ears rotating this way and that as he thought. Venturing, "Even if a fact isn't proven or something that can be proven, but - but Susan, if you felt love for them, then they were real. At least to you. And," a full body twitch, "and whoever, whatever you were, it matters in that you are you now. If you know nothing for certain Susan, know that I love you, you are my friend, and you are my Princess. But first and foremost, you are my friend, more than anything else. My heart swells when you laugh, and when you cry it turns heavy, and all I wish is to carry your burdens and take them from you."
Sighing, "Thank you Luis. That helps, honestly."
For a long time they were quiet and Susan set those fears aside, and tried to figure out what it was that she felt for this place, for its people, and mostly what she felt for Caspian. Because he had become her anchor, and she'd gone above and beyond lengths she'd ever thought herself capable of. And the god awful truth was - she'd do it all again. Over and over if necessary. So many frightening thoughts, and it was a very real fear for Susan, a very real fear that she had gone from needing to help Caspian to needing him, to.. something else entirely. If that's what it was, if that's what the feeling really was - then god help her, for everything else had abandoned her.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Not an errand this time, this time it was more, and Susan's blood was pounding in her temples. What was she doing? This was insane, well and truly, all quite mad. Yet there she was, sneaking through the small wooden gates to the tiny fortification, bow in hand, arrow knocked - and a bevy of troops on her heels. At first this place had looked like it would simply be a camp like any other, but reports of it slowly being fortified had alerted Susan that it was time for another of those 'decisive' actions that Caspian was on about so often. And like an idiot - she was leading.
But Plyonus had gotten the news while she was out and about cheering the troops that this now had a palisade, trenches, and a small lookout tower of wood was being built. That wouldn't do at all, and something rose up in Susan just like the day she'd received word of Caspian's capture, and took control. Orders were cracked out in a rapid-fire stream, while some distant part of Susan thought that just maybe Caspian was rubbing off on her too much. Music wafted on the air, and sentries were taken out by gryphons, the hapless Telmarines throats torn out. Why no one else had thought of using them for that purpose, Susan didn't know. Now, those with hooves had burlap sacking on them to deaden the noise and were moving along going about their bloody work. And Susan was one of them.
"My Lady," Pylonus slipped up next to her, his voice soft, "there is a Telmarine aristo leading them it appears. A horse bears the mark of Lord Sopesbian's son - Inigo."
The name sent a thrill through Susan, "Inigo? Find him, he may be useful to us."
Inigo - the name Caspian had uttered in a resigned anger. What was the story there? Other than the obvious that the son of Sopesbian had been his captor. And, even better, Caspian had said that Inigo's support or lack of could hinder Miraz. Definitely needed to capture him, make it look like he'd defected even... A small twisting of her lips, something that wasn't very nice, but was very satisfied - like the cat who'd eaten the canary, graced Susan's face.
In that moment she was probably very Telmarine for the kind of cunning necessary to come up with that wasn't very Narnian. Nor very nice middle-class English. Because Susan was tempted to extract the pound of flesh from him. Shaking that off for now, Susan waited for word sitting in the middle of the camp as muffled death spread from the outside in. It was hard to stay blank though when a dwarf, covered in blood not his own, passed by on his way to another tent.
The rule she'd enacted for these raids kept though, only one in five was to be killed most times. Though from the numbers she'd received from Grilf, it looked like the minotaur had gone a bit slap-happy and killed half. Either way it sent a message: we can come for you any time - be wary. It scared the villagers, the common people, making them fractcious and difficult for the Lords to keep control of. And then in a few villages, a few tiny hamlets, supplies had arrived by night, in bags all bearing a large 'X' on them.
Caspian the Tenth had not forgotten his people, but would kill the soldiers who followed Miraz and the Lords. It was a careful campaign, one that included slight of hand and discreet timing. Some of the Narnians didn't like it, but it didn't matter - the Telmarine people were Narnians too, and Susan would make sure they were treated as such. Soldiers were fair game, but the commoners were to be kept as safe as possible. And of course that didn't always work, a report she'd received for one of these nighttime death sprees told her that over five or six villages that were bunking large quantities of soldiers had been fully subjected to fire. As a purported leader of this, Susan couldn't tolerate that and had punished those responsible harshly. They'd been sent for manual labor until they repented for the sin of killing innocents.
Despite the fact that she understood - for centuries and particularly the last few, the Telmarine peasants had been... Cruel to say the least, to the Narnians when they were stumbled upon. And that builds up alot of anger, alot of distrust, and having such easy targets must have been too much for those captains and their men to handle. But Susan wouldn't allow it, even if Caspian might.
"My Lady," Pylonus was at her elbow.
"Don't call me 'lady' out here Pylonus, secrecy is the word, remember that please," chiding him gently.
He bowed quickly, "Yes m'Lord, I shall lead you to his room, but there's a complication. He has a woman with him - which I thought you may find change whatever your decision is about him."
Nodding, "Yes of course, lead on."
Slipping into the tent behind Pylonus, Susan was drawn up short. The man laying there could have been Caspian's older brother, there were similarities, but for a goatee and long side burns. All of it was neatly trimmed. That was definitely a way to describe the man before her - neat, well oiled, not at all rough around the edges like Caspian. But what shook Susan was how protectively he was curled around a woman, she wasn't very pretty but all the bruises on her were quite faded. The girl was smiling in her sleep, as though she were in the safest place in the world. And Inigo - he too was smiling, though there was a worried crease between his brows.
Turning away Susan couldn't look on any longer.
"Tie them both up, pack their belongings, and bring their horses," there was a tremor to her words, it was easy to see the couple as herself and Caspian, "we take them with us. Unharmed for now."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Susan toed him with a boot, not being cruel, just not being kind, "Wake up."
He grunted and jerked, eyes wild, then narrowed.
Seeing that she had his attention, "Good. I'm going to take your gag off. You can yell but it won't do you any good."
They were in a fallback trench, Pylonus' crew standing guard, and Susan had some questions that needed answering. Inigo's gaze skittered around for a split second and Susan knew when he'd found what he was looking for. His girl was behind her, tied up, but far more gently than him. His relief was palpable, but quickly hidden.
"She's unharmed," reassuring him, yet allowing him to tack on anything he wanted to that statement, though Susan wouldn't let the woman be hurt even for Inigo's crimes. Tugging off his gag, "Now, tell me, what are you doing out here? Do you not have a Holding to govern at this time?"
Inigo glowered, "Are you one of Caspian's lieutenants?"
"Answer my question Inigo," sitting back on her haunches staying cool. There's no way she'd torture him, but if she bluffed her way around made it look like she was so calm, so collected, like she had not a worry in the world - then he'd think her position was vastly superior to his. Susan wasn't above mind-games. That and her time here in a weaker position taught her some things about power-plays that she'd never understood when mentioned in history: weakness can be a strength, and apparent strength and will is just as potent (if not more-so) than actual force. Let his mind chew over his worst fears, let him paint her as capable of them, and she wouldn't have to lift a finger. Nor would she have to have anything distasteful or wrong done to him.
"Miraz killed my father," the man was fighting to stay calm - strange, was she so scary, or was it his fears that made her so?
"So? Infighting amongst the Lords is commonplace. Its why Caspian needs to rule, as rightful Heir he's the only one with the training and strength to keep you dogs in your places," drawing out a honey nut oat ball and taking a bite of it. "You reason isn't good enough," gesturing with the ration, "tell me the truth."
Susan almost added 'or else' but that sounded cheesy even in her own head. That and her studious act of ignoring the presence of the woman seemed to unman Inigo some.
"He killed my father and I lost hold of my captive, if Miraz found out, then he would kill Yasmina," licking his lips.
"Death comes to us all, especially when Miraz holds the reins. Would it be so terrible for Miraz to kill her?" now that was genuine curiosity on her part. What was so horrible about this man that even his loyal subjects quaked? She'd need to know so she could counteract some of his influence. At least if Inigo gave it to her straight, then Susan would make sure he knew Yasmina would stay safe after Caspian was through with him.
He shook his head, "Whose son are you that you do not know of his excesses? Even amongst us he is a terror. Are you fool or foolhardy that you think death at his hands would come easy? Yasmina would be tortured for years, and I would either watch or be forced to join her!"
Susan was surprised - he thought her a boy? Well that was the reason for the getup, but even so, it was meant to only fool the eye when absolutely necessary.
"I'm not from around here," shrugging. "Is she so valuable to you?"
"Please, I know Caspian is harsh, and that no mercy is to be granted for me, but please - she is innocent in this! I fled with her, it is my only hope..." and Susan could see how much that cost him.
How much would it cost Caspian to say something like that? But he never would, not really. It was obvious how much he loved the woman behind her.
"You come to your enemy for mercy?"
"Even if you kill her it will not be as what would happen otherwise," struggling for pride and strength. "But please - she is innocent, I will do anything tell you all I know - so long as it purchases her freedom. Please?"
"I thought love was a disease?" nailing his issue right on the head.
At that Inigo recoiled, looking away, face dark with shame, "To some. To Caspian it is. To many, yes, to very many it is, yet many of us have it anyway." Shining black eyes pinned her, fever bright, "Is it wrong for a mother to love her son? Is it wrong for the son to love his mother? His father? No! It is not, then how is that," jerking his chin towards Yasmina who was just waking up at the volume of his voice, "a disease? Loving her has been the only good spot in my life. Kill me, I do not care, just - do not do as Miraz would. Caspian is your Lord? Is he not? You are one of his lieutenants?" Susan nodded finally, for the young Lord was becoming frantic, impassioned, "Then you know him, you know he is not needlessly cruel! Not at heart! I have wronged him, yes, but I did it for her."
Yasmina was struggling behind her, and Susan glanced at the woman, then with a sigh, moved over to her, "I have not hurt him." Again with a 'not yet' hanging in the air - even if Susan wasn't likely to, Caspian would. Taking hold of Yasmina's hands, "I can't untie you right now, but I will. Would you like a moment alone with Inigo though? To talk?"
The kindness wasn't for the man, but for this woman who was frantic to get to him. It reminded her too closely of her fight to get to Caspian.
Her eyes were frightened wondering if this was some trick, but she plucked up enough courage to nod.
Taking off the gag, Susan got up and walked away for a few steps, listening, but allowing them the illusion of privacy.
"Inigo..."
"Hush, I shall do what needs to be done to keep you safe, Caspian is an honourable man," was it her imagination that made Inigo's voice shake so slightly with fear?
"Life means little without you, he shall torture you," it was heartbroken.
Susan hugged herself, shivering.
"I did the same to him Yasmina, it is his place to do that to me, and so long as he does not punish you, I would die at peace," if only Caspian were capable of such selflessness.
It was convenient to forget how hard he worked for the Narnians, not just for his throne.
"I would die without you," tiny whisper.
Pressing her face into her hands, Susan tried to shut it out.
"Please you cannot! You carry more than just my love," pleading.
"Why did you have to torture him then? Why not just have taken me and fled in the first?"
Silence, "Because Father needed me. And - and if I had not done something to him before delivery, Miraz would suspect too many things..."
A bit of shuffling, scooting so they could get closer, Susan turned to look just enough to make sure they weren't trying anything. That one sight broke Susan though, seeing Yasmina's head buried in his neck, his chin tucked over her crown, an armless embrace. Shuddering, shaking, sick to her stomach, Susan almost fled the scene.
It was all too familiar.