Honesty
I went to the Doctor's yesterday, and for the first time ever when they asked me how i was, i was honest.
As a result i have now been placed in a councilling programme on sleeping tablets and anti-depressants.
It was the first time i'd sat down and actually thought about how i was feeling, and i scared myself.
The Dr said to me, dont be scared of your answers, there is no right and wrong one. but quite blatently the answers i gave weren't those of the rational well balanced 21 yr old that i thought i was.
I've never taken my feelings very seriously, on the whole i generally regard myself as a bit of a joke, happless and unloved. Maybe i should have listened to myself more when i felt i needed help, maybe i should have looked for it or welcomed it when it was offered rather than lying and diguising a problem with a silly joke or sarcasm.
Any rate, it wont change who i am, save maybe i'll learn to relax more ...... and who knows one day i might actually like who or what it is that i am.
Surzy xx