(no subject)
I had my second to last class today, AMST 333, or Women of Color in the US. Technically, it's supposed to be my last, but I'm having an extra (argh) class this Wednesday. But that's another story.
I have had so many mixed feelings about this class all along. I have usually dreaded every Monday from 115-4, and most people know that I love going to class, usually. We talked about so many intense topics, things that are usually too uncomfortable to talk about. Race, class, gender, other vague and sometimes meaningless words that we use to stratify/separate people, the problems with being too fat, too skinny, or having the wrong type of hair---and what all of that actually means for people--it was a lot to handle, as strange as that sounds. I've never felt as if I didn't have the authority to speak about something, and I often felt that way in that course. Some of that is bad teaching, yes, but some of that meant that I was going through this very humbling experience where I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. As much as I complained about this class, it pushed me in ways I never anticipated and I am really grateful for that, in the end.
Something really weird and surprising came out of this class. I connected with people in my class in ways that I never, ever have before. I changed my mind about a lot of people, some for the better, others, not so much. But either way, I noticed that there was something both dangerous and safe about the space we created in that classroom that I can't really explain. Down the line, I will probably only vaguely remember my legitimate bitterness at the grade I received on my midterm. What I really hope I will remember is the way I felt leaving that class today. I think I shared something strange or even unique with the other women who were in this class, and although I don't know if I could ever really explain it to anyone else, I think it's important that we went through it together. Although some of this unity came about becuase of a common annoyance with the professor, that doesn't take away from the fact that we all had moments where we had to really listen, to really focus and be humble enough to accept that political or academic correctness isn't always important.
I have had so many mixed feelings about this class all along. I have usually dreaded every Monday from 115-4, and most people know that I love going to class, usually. We talked about so many intense topics, things that are usually too uncomfortable to talk about. Race, class, gender, other vague and sometimes meaningless words that we use to stratify/separate people, the problems with being too fat, too skinny, or having the wrong type of hair---and what all of that actually means for people--it was a lot to handle, as strange as that sounds. I've never felt as if I didn't have the authority to speak about something, and I often felt that way in that course. Some of that is bad teaching, yes, but some of that meant that I was going through this very humbling experience where I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. As much as I complained about this class, it pushed me in ways I never anticipated and I am really grateful for that, in the end.
Something really weird and surprising came out of this class. I connected with people in my class in ways that I never, ever have before. I changed my mind about a lot of people, some for the better, others, not so much. But either way, I noticed that there was something both dangerous and safe about the space we created in that classroom that I can't really explain. Down the line, I will probably only vaguely remember my legitimate bitterness at the grade I received on my midterm. What I really hope I will remember is the way I felt leaving that class today. I think I shared something strange or even unique with the other women who were in this class, and although I don't know if I could ever really explain it to anyone else, I think it's important that we went through it together. Although some of this unity came about becuase of a common annoyance with the professor, that doesn't take away from the fact that we all had moments where we had to really listen, to really focus and be humble enough to accept that political or academic correctness isn't always important.