restarting this thing

[surrisive]

i realized a couple nights ago that i am a completely different person than i was last year.. and so much more different than i was 2 years ago. ive grown up, ive grown down in some ways haha, and ive gotten myself in a situation that i absolutely hate. all in all, ive decided that i used to be so much more healthy. before i started depending on people to be there for me. before i started seeing boys as a necessity, before i put other peoples happiness before my own. im not saying i need to be self-involved and not care about other people, but i am no good to others if im not happy with myself. and i havent been happy with myself for quite some time now. anyways, im working on it, im working on going back to the way i was before all the craziness, back when i wasnt into relationships, i didnt care about stupid little things and was so much more free. i had so much fun, so much freedom, i was so much happier.

to those of you who have witnessed and have been affected this change in me, i am very sorry.
to those of you who have stuck by me and loved me despite my craziness, i love you with all my heart.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, TO THOSE OF YOU WHO IVE LOST (AND RIGHTWARDLY SO), THERE IS NOT A DAY THAT GOES BY THAT I DONT THINK OF YOU AND HOPE YOU FORGIVE ME.

i love you all so much, hopefully entries after this will be MUCH more happy! :)

and anything written in the past can not be used against me, im sure there are some incriminating things in this lj hahaha

<3 lots of love,
krupa