(no subject)
I saw this on the Best of Craigslist and it's hilarious, because it's so damn true!
**note: bold is my emphasis of the parts I find most hilarious**
This ad SOLD, This ad RENTED
Got to get something off my chest here, something that pisses me off. If you sell something, if you rent something out to someone, if you successfully trade for something, then take the god damn ad off of craigslist. Seriously. What are you, bragging? "Eww, look at me, I'm so smart. I sold something. And you'll never get it. La la la. Sold sold sold."
What I don't get is the mindset. Like you sell something to someone. You put a blue coleman cooler on craiglist. Some person phones you up, emails you, and they say "hey, word up, I need a blue coleman cooler. Sell it to me. I'll buy it off you for 8 dollars." And you are smiling, thinking "no shit? 8 bucks? 2 more dollars and I'm in the double digits. Lucky day." So you arrange a meeting over 4 emails and buckaroo shows up with ten bucks hoping you've got a twoonie change. And you do. You jumped in the couch, throwing the cushions all willy nilly, here and there, cousteau'ing for some change and you find it and you have it in your pocket but you are kind of pissed off because this guy knew it was 8 dollars and he didn't take the time to get change? What the fuck. Motherfucker. But you are honest and you just kind of want to get rid of that blue coleman cooler so you're like "yeah, I got two dollars change." But buddy, he wants to check the cooler out first. He opens the lid, gives it a look, kicks the tire sort of thing. Sold. He gives you a ten and you give him a two and you'll never remember the colour of each other's eyes.
And then what do you do? You log on to your stupid email account, click the link to your ad, and you edit it. You put SOLD at the end of your craigslist ad. You could have pushed the delete button. Could have just gotten rid of the ad forever. But instead you EDIT the fucking posting so now every time someone is looking for a blue coleman cooler they have to see your hairy ad mocking everyone.
2 Bedroom Apartment for rent - RENTED. What the fuck is that about? If I wanted to peruse rented apartment buildings I'd walk around the block. Rented. Rented. Rented. They're all rented. Every house, every apartment in my neighbourhood has lights on at night. People live there. The habitats are all RENTED. I don't need you hopping on to the craiglist and letting me know that yours too is now rented. Sorry, RENTED! You missed out slouch! You slacker mother fucker. That's what your ad is telling me. "Hey slacker motherfucker. Screw you pal. Should have needed this yesterday, you prick."
I hope the next time you go to a restaurant every thing you order has already been ate. What's the soup of the day? It's the soup of yesterday. SOLD. How's the pasta? Al Dente? No. Al RENTED. Why is the menu blank? Because we sold everything on the menu so we TOOK IT ALL OFF THE MENU. In fact, this isn't even a restaurant anymore. Now it's a god damn tire shop. Sorry for the confusion. We probably shouldn't be running ads saying we have food SOLD OUT. We are open CLOSED. My favourite colour is blue RED * UPDATE * GREEN.
Other than that, I think everything is great and I hope you have a fantastic day.
**note: bold is my emphasis of the parts I find most hilarious**
This ad SOLD, This ad RENTED
Got to get something off my chest here, something that pisses me off. If you sell something, if you rent something out to someone, if you successfully trade for something, then take the god damn ad off of craigslist. Seriously. What are you, bragging? "Eww, look at me, I'm so smart. I sold something. And you'll never get it. La la la. Sold sold sold."
What I don't get is the mindset. Like you sell something to someone. You put a blue coleman cooler on craiglist. Some person phones you up, emails you, and they say "hey, word up, I need a blue coleman cooler. Sell it to me. I'll buy it off you for 8 dollars." And you are smiling, thinking "no shit? 8 bucks? 2 more dollars and I'm in the double digits. Lucky day." So you arrange a meeting over 4 emails and buckaroo shows up with ten bucks hoping you've got a twoonie change. And you do. You jumped in the couch, throwing the cushions all willy nilly, here and there, cousteau'ing for some change and you find it and you have it in your pocket but you are kind of pissed off because this guy knew it was 8 dollars and he didn't take the time to get change? What the fuck. Motherfucker. But you are honest and you just kind of want to get rid of that blue coleman cooler so you're like "yeah, I got two dollars change." But buddy, he wants to check the cooler out first. He opens the lid, gives it a look, kicks the tire sort of thing. Sold. He gives you a ten and you give him a two and you'll never remember the colour of each other's eyes.
And then what do you do? You log on to your stupid email account, click the link to your ad, and you edit it. You put SOLD at the end of your craigslist ad. You could have pushed the delete button. Could have just gotten rid of the ad forever. But instead you EDIT the fucking posting so now every time someone is looking for a blue coleman cooler they have to see your hairy ad mocking everyone.
2 Bedroom Apartment for rent - RENTED. What the fuck is that about? If I wanted to peruse rented apartment buildings I'd walk around the block. Rented. Rented. Rented. They're all rented. Every house, every apartment in my neighbourhood has lights on at night. People live there. The habitats are all RENTED. I don't need you hopping on to the craiglist and letting me know that yours too is now rented. Sorry, RENTED! You missed out slouch! You slacker mother fucker. That's what your ad is telling me. "Hey slacker motherfucker. Screw you pal. Should have needed this yesterday, you prick."
I hope the next time you go to a restaurant every thing you order has already been ate. What's the soup of the day? It's the soup of yesterday. SOLD. How's the pasta? Al Dente? No. Al RENTED. Why is the menu blank? Because we sold everything on the menu so we TOOK IT ALL OFF THE MENU. In fact, this isn't even a restaurant anymore. Now it's a god damn tire shop. Sorry for the confusion. We probably shouldn't be running ads saying we have food SOLD OUT. We are open CLOSED. My favourite colour is blue RED * UPDATE * GREEN.
Other than that, I think everything is great and I hope you have a fantastic day.