Chemotaxis! Kinase! Ciprofloxacin! Lipopolysaccharide!
On Wednesday night, I was bored, had some spare time, and had a wave of inspiration, in addition to being a total loser, so I made a personal ad on Craigslist in the "women seeking men" section. This time, I decided to try a different approach, and post an ad that was a little different than the usual, "Hey, these are my interests and this is what I'm looking for" kind of ad. Little did I know that it would garner a ridiculous amount of attention...
Chemotaxis! Kinase! Ciprofloxacin! Lipopolysaccharide!
Did my title catch your attention? I couldn’t think of anything witty for a title, so I thought I might as well make it eye-catching. If you’re familiar with any of the terms (before googling them!), then bonus points for you. If you’re not familiar, no worries; that’s what Wikipedia is for.
So, here’s a little bit about me: I’m 28 and currently going to school, working on a BSc in Microbiology and Immunology. Science is my passion, and I’m a huge biology and chemistry nerd. I’m looking for…
Ah, forget it. What’s the point of describing who I am and what I’m looking for when most guys clearly don’t read what I have written? I’m so frustrated and fed-up with trying to meet someone, but unfortunately, I’m heterosexual, so I must continue the search, as becoming a Crazy Cat Lady is not an attractive option.
Please bear with me for a moment while I rant.
Why is it so difficult to find a guy who is not a total douchebag? I don’t expect to find The Perfect Guy (what a ridiculous concept!), as we all have our flaws (I certainly have my share), but why is it so difficult to find a guy who will treat a woman with basic courtesy and respect? Whether or not you’re in a long-term, committed relationship or in a casual, sexual relationship, basic manners are required. A friend recently wrote the following, which I think is good insight into how women feel:
casual DOES NOT mean lack of manners and consideration, and just because women have expectations of respect in a NSA arrangement it doesn't mean we are too demanding or going to get attached
Guys, here are a few things that you may not know: if you have a casual, sexual, “no-strings attached” relationship with a woman, and are enjoying it, don’t be afraid to express your desire to see her again in the future. I assure you, if you say, “I would like to see you again next week”, or something else that conveys interest or desire, she won’t interpret that as “I love you, let’s get married and make babies” (unless she is completely fucked-up, and then in that case, run). In fact, women like to know that you want to see them! Also, if you want to end the arrangement, for whatever reason, let us know! A phone call or an email is much appreciated; don’t just start declining our suggestions of hooking-up with increasing frequency, hoping to slowly disappear. Just grow some fucking balls and tell us!
If you’ve read this far, bravo! As a reward, I’ll finish telling you about myself:
As I mentioned, I’m a student, and I love biology and chemistry (well, I’m not so keen on thermochem!). However, the guys I tend to be attracted to are usually in the math and physics field, despite the fact that I am terrible at those subjects! If you like talking about math and physics, I’ll happily listen, interrupting with a stupid question now and again. I won’t really know what you’re talking about, but I will certainly pretend! In return, all you have to do is listen to me talk about the immune system, or if you’re really not up for that, sex will do.
I don’t expect you to be perfect (I’m certainly not), but these are the things I am looking for in a guy:
-around my age-I am not interested in 22 year olds, nor am I interested in 40 year olds (but hot math teachers are exempt from this)
-non-smoker and drug-free
-disease-free (I do not have any STDs, and that includes oral herpes)
-some fashion sense-yeah, I realize that this is a long shot, as my target is heterosexual guys, but not looking like crap is attractive! You don’t have to wear expensive, trendy clothes, but ill-fitting jeans/sweatpants, sloppy t-shirts, and running shoes? No. Just no. And if we meet for the first time, please don’t bring a knapsack (unless we’re both students meeting on campus during our break, or something).
-literacy-just FYI: you are = you’re, not your. In case you didn’t know, there are two forms of “your”: “you’re” and “your” (well, three, if you count “yore”). And even though they sound the same, they are spelled differently and mean different things. Tricky, I know. Oh, and an apostrophe is not used to pluralize a word.
Well, those are my basic, most important criteria in a guy. In addition, physical appearance is important. I’m shallow, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, whatever. You’re a liar, blind, or really desperate and ugly if you truly think that physical appearance is not important. Personality is important, of course, but be honest with yourself; I am. I am under no obligation to have a physical relationship with someone I am not attracted to, nor are you.
For obvious reasons I’m not going to post a photo of myself, but as not to waste your time in emailing someone who is not your type, I’ll give you a description of myself, so that you have some idea of what I look like:
I’m half Asian, half white, but on the lighter side; freckles; brown eyes; boob length brown hair; 5 feet; about 120 pounds; height-weight proportioned.
If you’re interested, please send a photo and an email with some effort put into it. I don’t expect a long, rambling manifesto, nor do I want to play 20 questions. But coherent, full sentences are appreciated, and spell-check is your friend! If you write ‘u’ instead of “you”, or make no attempt to send a photo, I will not bother wasting my time replying to someone who did not read my profile.
I try and respond to people who send me reasonable messages with some thought put into it, but unfortunately, I may not be able to respond to every message, and it may take me a few days or a week to respond. After all, school + real life >>> responding to strangers on the internet.
********
Of course I got a ton of emails from guys responding to my ad, most of which had not bothered to read it, and I also received a lot of replies from people telling me how much they loved my ad, and how it had made their day. And of course I got some hate mail from illiterate, bitter, misogynistic guys who can't get laid, bitching at me about how my ad is too long and no wonder why I'm still single, thus proving my point, which they would have gotten had they read my ad! I addition to these emails, about a dozen or so people posted on the w4m section in response to my ad, some praising it, but most bitching about my ad. It's against the rules to post responses to people's ads on the personals forums, but occasionally, one or two people will post a bitchy reply to an ad, not a dozen (I'm not sure of the exact figure, and there may have been some that were removed before I saw them). Also, it made its way to Live Journal!
Of course I would have found it on LJ, but when I got up on Thursday morning, I checked my email before LJ, and discovered about two dozen new emails. One of them was from someone, I don't know who, alerting me about my ad being featured in the vancouver community. The funny thing is, scratchdaddy knows me but didn't realize that I wrote the ad, and if you know me, you know that it was written by me--it's pretty obvious!
Of course all the responses to my ad were flagged and deleted, since posting them on the forum is against the rules, but my ad was flagged and deleted as well, less than 24 hours after I posted it. I'm not sure why, as it was a genuine ad--perhaps it was just creating too much controversy or something. But I decided to give my inbox a break and not repost it.
Chemotaxis! Kinase! Ciprofloxacin! Lipopolysaccharide!
Did my title catch your attention? I couldn’t think of anything witty for a title, so I thought I might as well make it eye-catching. If you’re familiar with any of the terms (before googling them!), then bonus points for you. If you’re not familiar, no worries; that’s what Wikipedia is for.
So, here’s a little bit about me: I’m 28 and currently going to school, working on a BSc in Microbiology and Immunology. Science is my passion, and I’m a huge biology and chemistry nerd. I’m looking for…
Ah, forget it. What’s the point of describing who I am and what I’m looking for when most guys clearly don’t read what I have written? I’m so frustrated and fed-up with trying to meet someone, but unfortunately, I’m heterosexual, so I must continue the search, as becoming a Crazy Cat Lady is not an attractive option.
Please bear with me for a moment while I rant.
Why is it so difficult to find a guy who is not a total douchebag? I don’t expect to find The Perfect Guy (what a ridiculous concept!), as we all have our flaws (I certainly have my share), but why is it so difficult to find a guy who will treat a woman with basic courtesy and respect? Whether or not you’re in a long-term, committed relationship or in a casual, sexual relationship, basic manners are required. A friend recently wrote the following, which I think is good insight into how women feel:
casual DOES NOT mean lack of manners and consideration, and just because women have expectations of respect in a NSA arrangement it doesn't mean we are too demanding or going to get attached
Guys, here are a few things that you may not know: if you have a casual, sexual, “no-strings attached” relationship with a woman, and are enjoying it, don’t be afraid to express your desire to see her again in the future. I assure you, if you say, “I would like to see you again next week”, or something else that conveys interest or desire, she won’t interpret that as “I love you, let’s get married and make babies” (unless she is completely fucked-up, and then in that case, run). In fact, women like to know that you want to see them! Also, if you want to end the arrangement, for whatever reason, let us know! A phone call or an email is much appreciated; don’t just start declining our suggestions of hooking-up with increasing frequency, hoping to slowly disappear. Just grow some fucking balls and tell us!
If you’ve read this far, bravo! As a reward, I’ll finish telling you about myself:
As I mentioned, I’m a student, and I love biology and chemistry (well, I’m not so keen on thermochem!). However, the guys I tend to be attracted to are usually in the math and physics field, despite the fact that I am terrible at those subjects! If you like talking about math and physics, I’ll happily listen, interrupting with a stupid question now and again. I won’t really know what you’re talking about, but I will certainly pretend! In return, all you have to do is listen to me talk about the immune system, or if you’re really not up for that, sex will do.
I don’t expect you to be perfect (I’m certainly not), but these are the things I am looking for in a guy:
-around my age-I am not interested in 22 year olds, nor am I interested in 40 year olds (but hot math teachers are exempt from this)
-non-smoker and drug-free
-disease-free (I do not have any STDs, and that includes oral herpes)
-some fashion sense-yeah, I realize that this is a long shot, as my target is heterosexual guys, but not looking like crap is attractive! You don’t have to wear expensive, trendy clothes, but ill-fitting jeans/sweatpants, sloppy t-shirts, and running shoes? No. Just no. And if we meet for the first time, please don’t bring a knapsack (unless we’re both students meeting on campus during our break, or something).
-literacy-just FYI: you are = you’re, not your. In case you didn’t know, there are two forms of “your”: “you’re” and “your” (well, three, if you count “yore”). And even though they sound the same, they are spelled differently and mean different things. Tricky, I know. Oh, and an apostrophe is not used to pluralize a word.
Well, those are my basic, most important criteria in a guy. In addition, physical appearance is important. I’m shallow, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, whatever. You’re a liar, blind, or really desperate and ugly if you truly think that physical appearance is not important. Personality is important, of course, but be honest with yourself; I am. I am under no obligation to have a physical relationship with someone I am not attracted to, nor are you.
For obvious reasons I’m not going to post a photo of myself, but as not to waste your time in emailing someone who is not your type, I’ll give you a description of myself, so that you have some idea of what I look like:
I’m half Asian, half white, but on the lighter side; freckles; brown eyes; boob length brown hair; 5 feet; about 120 pounds; height-weight proportioned.
If you’re interested, please send a photo and an email with some effort put into it. I don’t expect a long, rambling manifesto, nor do I want to play 20 questions. But coherent, full sentences are appreciated, and spell-check is your friend! If you write ‘u’ instead of “you”, or make no attempt to send a photo, I will not bother wasting my time replying to someone who did not read my profile.
I try and respond to people who send me reasonable messages with some thought put into it, but unfortunately, I may not be able to respond to every message, and it may take me a few days or a week to respond. After all, school + real life >>> responding to strangers on the internet.
********
Of course I got a ton of emails from guys responding to my ad, most of which had not bothered to read it, and I also received a lot of replies from people telling me how much they loved my ad, and how it had made their day. And of course I got some hate mail from illiterate, bitter, misogynistic guys who can't get laid, bitching at me about how my ad is too long and no wonder why I'm still single, thus proving my point, which they would have gotten had they read my ad! I addition to these emails, about a dozen or so people posted on the w4m section in response to my ad, some praising it, but most bitching about my ad. It's against the rules to post responses to people's ads on the personals forums, but occasionally, one or two people will post a bitchy reply to an ad, not a dozen (I'm not sure of the exact figure, and there may have been some that were removed before I saw them). Also, it made its way to Live Journal!
Of course I would have found it on LJ, but when I got up on Thursday morning, I checked my email before LJ, and discovered about two dozen new emails. One of them was from someone, I don't know who, alerting me about my ad being featured in the vancouver community. The funny thing is, scratchdaddy knows me but didn't realize that I wrote the ad, and if you know me, you know that it was written by me--it's pretty obvious!
Of course all the responses to my ad were flagged and deleted, since posting them on the forum is against the rules, but my ad was flagged and deleted as well, less than 24 hours after I posted it. I'm not sure why, as it was a genuine ad--perhaps it was just creating too much controversy or something. But I decided to give my inbox a break and not repost it.