My Zach is grading
My Zach is grading for his first belt today. Odly, I am more nervous about this than I have ever been about my owns tests...including my Shodan grading. Inam not letting him see my nerves, of course. I need him to see that I have full confidence in him. I do! I have some concerns about his finger, but know he will push through.
I think the whole concept of, " your students success are your success and their failures are your failures" is suddenly making sense to me.
Zach...oh that poor child was just so beyond hope in the martial arts. He floundered for years. Even after 3 years his fudo dachi was still less than desirable. Now....yeah just now.
Today, i feel like i am entering a piece of art in an art show and the judges are the most amazing artists i have ever met. Yet, this art i am showing them is capturing an essence of beauty they were unable to capture. I feel shy at some level and kind of want to hide my masterpiece...only for it to be discovered after I am long gone.
It is not his failure i fear. It is my own success...my biggest fear being visited upon me in heaps. Yeah, I am not nervous...i am petrified.
P.s i was more relaxed when i thought Greg wasnt coming and I dread Kays presence. She is soooo judgmental of everything we do, especially in Martial arts...i just do not know if i can function under her eye.
Yep...im stressed.