Avari and Karate
I think I have finally found something that I will allow to temporarily outrank my karate in priorities in my life. Avari. I feel so connected to her. In personality, we are so alike. I am bonded to this animal in a way that I can never describe. I have been fighting serious depression since August of last year. I got very sick and spent 2 months on bedrest. I have had a hard time bouncing back from that. However, since this amazing animal has come into my life I feel alive again and the depression is gone. I look forward to each day and cannot wait to get out of bed in the morning. At my last rank at ABKA I did 3 (maybe 4) tournaments. However, since my last grading (at the tail end of that bed rest) I have been too sick to do one this rank. I was planning on doing the tournament at Surrey Hills next weekend, but now Avari cannot handle being away from me. She is new in our home and to our family. She is having a hard time and adjusting. She does great as long as Randy and I are with her. She freaks out when I leave the room and won’t even let me use the restroom until she has investigated.
Last night, she finally started eating (mostly). My original plan was to have Anna spend the day with her in Yukon while we were at the tournament. However, even after 30 minutes away from us she has a setback. We took her in and committed to her being a part of our family. She is a priority and we already love her. She needs us now. So, I am just going to have to wait for a tournament another month or two down the road. We are also planning on going to the Warrior of God Tournament in a few weeks, but I am not sure if she will be ready by then.
So my baby girl, who is a gift and a blessing to me, takes precedence over Karate. I believe she is a gift from God himself. She is exactly what I needed to help me overcome this dark place I have been in. So, for her, I more than willingly sacrifice my opportunity to grade at Liberty ABKA. What is another 6 months or so? I was planning to try to grade at every opportunity, as I am not getting any younger.
My cancer has been in remission for almost 2 years now. Sometimes I feel like I am fighting the clock and my own body. That is why I remain so focused and work so hard. Martial Arts have changed my life in ways that only those closest to me can understand. They have given me the strength to lose tons of weight and get healthier. They gave me something to be passionate about and want to live for. When I was in cancer treatments I needed something to want to live for, to want to fight for. That was my Martial Arts. If you aren’t a Martial Artist, you cannot possibly grasp how it is more than just learning how to fight and defend yourself. It is about being a fighter, in all aspects of your life…a warrior. It is about staring down the obstacles that would destroy you and walking over them in the power that God has given you. It is about having no walls. It is about overcoming yourself…It is about being upright and Godly. It is about doing the right thing, just because it is the right thing. Right now, the right thing is to take care of Avari and be there for her. Now, it is time to focus on someone, something other than myself.
The last few years I have focused on me, in a selfish way sometimes. It is what I needed to do to heal. I have a great deal of baggage and pain from a life being lived for others. I will skip the ugly details, but finally in the last 3 years (almost) I am learning that it is okay to live for myself and be happy. So, I have focused on my Martial arts and myself…but now, for this moment… I focus on something greater than myself; LOVE.
All of this comes from the devotion we have done at Liberty the last couple of weeks. I have been reminded of what love really is:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
New International Version (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
Thank you to Patti Lester for leading that devotion.