Short story:Absolutions Eve
“Absolutions Eve”
Something startled me awake this morning, but I am not sure what it was. I sat up and looked around the room, trying to find the culprit. Perhaps, it was only my own apprehension and knowledge of what this day would bring. I glanced to His side of bed only to discover it vacant. I sighed deeply as I realized that I had over slept. He must have tended to himself this morning before leaving for work.
It is very unusual for Him to allow me to sleep in. Most mornings he awakens me before he is ready to stumble out of the comfort of His bed. I snuggle at His feet for a few moments before beginning my own day. I crawl out of bed and fetch a towel for his shower. I gather His work clothes and lay them neatly on the ottoman, placing his boots together on the floor nearby. I stumble into the kitchen and begin to prepare His breakfast. Each day I make sure he starts His day with a hot breakfast. There will be no cold cereal for the Man in my life. By the time, I am finished making breakfast he usually out of the shower and ready to eat. I carry his breakfast into the den and offer it up to him. After he finishes eating I spend a few moments with my forehead upon his foot and kissing it softly. This is my favorite part of the day. This is the time of day that I spend reflecting upon who I am and the choices I have made in my life. After a few moments He will wiggle his foot which indicates to me that he is ready to have his socks and shoes. I quickly put his socks and shoes on him, placing a soft kiss upon each boot. Then, I walk with him to the door and make sure to hand him his lunch, which I had packed the night before.
That is how my usual day begins… but this isn’t to be a usual day. He must have known that I would need some extra rest for what this day would bring.
Anyhow, I glanced at the clock and was shocked to discover that it was already nearing the noon hour. He would be home in just under 6 hours. I had not even begun my daily chores. It would be so nice to snuggle back down under my covers and sleep even longer but I knew I had much to get finished today. I wasn’t looking forward to climbing out of my warm bed into the coolness that would await me beyond my sanctuary of rest. I tossed back the house and reached for my robe. Just as I was about to slip it on… I stopped. Taking a deep slow breath I placed the robe back onto the hook as I remembered that I must spend my day sky clad, nude. Wow, He must have considered that when he left for work this morning. The house was nice and toasty. Glancing at the thermostat in the hall I noticed that it was set on 80. That NEVER happened in this house. I smiled to myself as I thought about how he cares for me ever so gently. He is a rugged man, and considered scary by most that meet him… yet, I see such gentleness and tenderness within Him. He is a kaleidoscope of contradictions.
I went into the kitchen to find a quick breakfast for myself. Rummaging through the cabinets and peering into the fridge I decided upon 2 pieces of toast and a glass of milk. To be honest, I didn’t have much of an appetite; there was an uneasiness in the pit of my stomach. I wouldn’t mind skipping breakfast all together but those days were long gone. I must take good care of myself, as I am an owned girl and must be a good caretaker of His property. After I choked down the toast and milk I unloaded the dishwasher and set about my daily chores. No, I didn’t have a list to complete or a set of specific expectations to meet. I just knew what needed to be done in His home. It was my job to make his life smooth, pleasant, easy. I spent the day scrubbing floors and washing laundry thinking about what the night would bring. You see, this wasn’t just another day…
As the day crawled past I became more and more anxious, more constantly noticing my nudity, my state of vulnerability. He was a wise man. He knew me oh so well. It wasn’t just flippantly and without thought that he had forbidden the wearing of clothes today. I wouldn’t be nude all day, just the majority of such… I suspected that when I was gifted clothing this day, I would prefer the nudity. Choices about apparel were long gone in my life. Many seasons had come and gone since I had chosen my own. I had a closet full of clothing that He had chosen. I must admit most of which I adored. He has taste. If I hadn’t known better I would think he was a gay man. I usually love the wardrobe he selects for me, but I couldn’t help but shudder with nervousness as my eyes fell upon the closed box that awaited me for this evening. I had been forbidden to even touch that box until after my shower. He left the box upon the kitchen counter. That wasn’t by chance either. He knew I would see it all day, taunting me, teasing me. It lay in a place it shouldn’t be upon a counter I must clean.
Speaking of clean, let’s talk about me for a minute. You see, I am what is known as a type A personality. In a nut shell that means, I am a perfectionist. I must finish what I start. I must do it completely. I must do well. If, I am not allowed to such it irks me. It drives me bananas. He knows this, which is why he left it on the counter… instead of on the dresser per say. He knew it would drive me crazy and get under my skin, feeding into my feelings of vulnerability and the reminding me that I am a kept girl. Granted, with my lifestyle, that isn’t something I could readily forget.
As I folded his socks I got lost in my own thoughts. I must have been lost in them for quite sometime, as when I looked at the clock again 30 minutes had been lost. I thought about myself and where I was now. I thought about what I had become, and the choices that had brought me here. I thought about how I was the opposite of what anyone who knew me when I was younger would have suspected. I was always the one in charge. I was in control. I was the mastermind of trouble and always knew the way out. At any given time in my childhood, teens, or very early twenties I would have at least 3 people ready to do my bidding just to please me at any given time. They all saw me as intelligent and in control, oft times I was accused of being evil and “unfeeling”…People saw me as an achiever and a pursuer of my own dreams. Nobody could hold me back or tell me no… and look where I am now. Little did those people know what little they saw….I was always there, as I am now, waiting for someone to find the key and let me be… me.
I met Him near Christmas time several years ago and he saw straight through the façade of what I was. Oh don’t get me wrong, he saw me as strong and intelligent and independent, but knew I longed to give that over to another. He saw that desire and that craving spirit I had coddles beneath the exterior. He knew that I yearned to be owned and drink from the cup of Dominance. He became hungry with desire as He looked at me and chose to feast upon the submission within my soul. Within hours he told me, in a dark low whisper, “You will surrender into my shadow and succumb to my embrace” Little did he know I already had. There would be no turning back. He did not use the key I waited for one to find. He simply kicked through the door and claimed my heart, soul, and mind. He spoke to that part of me that has never heard the voice of another and I became mesmerized. I was owned.
I was yanked back to reality by the clanging of the grandfather clock in the hall. I had been up for 3 hours already and still had much to accomplish before this day would truly begin. I spent the rest of the afternoon rushing through my daily chores, the knot in my stomach growing ever present.
Around 5 or so I decided it was time to prepare myself for His arrival. I ran a nice hot bath. Sitting on the edge of the tub, with the steam rising around me I sighed deeply. Inhaling the hot steam was so relaxing. I could have sat there for hours, but there were things to be done. I slowly poured some bath salts into the water and climbed in. As the hot water rushed over my body I couldn’t help but smile. It was time to relax and unwind a bit. I wanted to smell beautiful for him. I scrubbed my body and shaved off all of the unwanted body hair. He likes it when my entire body is hairless, other than the hair on my head. Making sure not to miss a single hair I carefully shaved myself. I washed my hair and even took the time to deep condition it. He loves to tangle his hands in my long soft hair. He always notices when I do not use conditioner, which still baffles me. He is so observant of me. He knows every inch of me and knows things about me that I have yet to discover. He notices ever scratch that appears on my body or broken nail…. He is truly amazing and I am blessed to be called His. This is the reason I took the time to put lotion on my arms and legs, making sure they were soft and welcoming to His touch, His grasp.
I wrapped a large towel around myself and wandered into the kitchen. My eyes immediately fell upon the package on the counter. Isn’t it odd how I wanted to move it, touch it, peek at it all day… and now that it is time I cannot bring myself to touch it. What is it He has chosen for me to wear this year? What can it be? I reach out and pick up the box. I cannot help but notice how my hands are shaking. I am such a silly girl. I am nervous over clothes! I walked into the bedroom and sat down upon the edge of the bed, slowly opening the box. I was rather shocked by what I found within. I was half expecting latex or leather or even a corset, but instead I found the classic school girl outfit. It was a plaid pleated skirt that would hit me just above the knee, with a white button up shirt. There was a pair of what knee high socks with a small ruffle at the top, a plain white sports bra and a pair of white cotton panties. The panties looked harmless and granny like at first then I took them out of the box. Across the rear end there were rows of lace! LACE!??? I will feel like such a baby. Oh my God! What will people think? Oh God, please do not let him make me leave the house wearing these! At the bottom of the box I found a pair of darling Patton leather shoes with small spikes across the toe.
Ever so slowly I slid into the clothes he had chosen for me. When I tried to slide my feet into the shoes I felt something hidden within the toe. I reached into the shoe and pulled out a scrunchie type hair tie. It was made of the same fabric as the skirt. I laughed out loud. That Man really does think of everything. Well, I guess that tells me what I will be doing with my hair…well, in part anyhow. Perhaps I can wear a small bun with some curls for softness framing my face, or even a French braid. Yes, a braid would be nice. Then, I tried to slide my foot into the other shoe. Low and behold, there was something hidden in that toe as well. You should have heard my groan as I pulled out a second hair tie, identical to the first. Now, why would he give me two? No, surely he didn’t want me to wear pigtails, or 2 braids even… Then, I remembered the panties…I sighed, then I sighed again. Sitting at my vanity I peered into the mirror as I parted my hair down the middle. A small smile teased my lips as I tried to remember the last time I had worn a part in down the middle of my hair. It must have been my elder sisters wedding nearly 23 years ago. I would have been about 5 at the time. First I put my hair into two braids, one on each side of my head. I would have preferred to have left it this way. Yes, I could get away with that and save some of my pride… but no, I knew that wasn’t what He was looking for. No, he hadn’t left exact instructions but I know him. I couldn’t help but shake my head and groan audibly as I pulled my hair into two pig tails. Two pigtails that curled on the sides of my head, leaving me to look like Margaret from Dennis The Menace.
I sat for several minutes surveying the image that peered back at me from the mirror. I must admit that I was quite astounded at the girl who stared back at me. She seemed so young, and vulnerable, even innocent. I smiled, until I felt the ruffles beneath my rear.
It wasn’t long before I heard His van pull into the drive. In a hurry I rushed to the back door and sank to my knees, waiting for him to come in. It wasn’t long before the door knob turned and my breath caught in my throat. I knew my day was about to begin. He came in, stopped before and gazed at me. Our eyes met, I stared into his for a brief moment, lost in the pools of darkness. Suddenly, a shiver ran down my spine as my submission stirred within my belly. My eyes lowered, downcast before him a sign of my respect to him. I heard a low chuckle, a growl almost, erupt from his large frame. Without a word he walked around me and headed toward the den. Oh, how I wished to run to him and be embraced by his shadow, at his feet. I knew better than to move from my place, near the door until he beckoned me. I knelt for what felt like an eternity, at least 3 minutes. Then, softly spoken I heard my name,” girl”. In less than a heartbeat I sprang to my feet and went to Him. I sank to my knees and waited for him to speak. After a moment of his eyes upon me he spoke again.” Return to the door, and crawl back to me this instant.” Without a question or even a thought I obeyed. As I drew nearer to Him my heart raced. I could feel my palms sweating and the knot in my stomach growing more present.
Once, I reached his feet I knelt up and smiled up at him. In a blur his huge strong hands grabbed me by the back of my neck and forced my face to his foot. I could tell He had no intention of wasting any time this evening. Roughly, he held me in that position for several seconds. When he removed his hand from me I knew to remain where he had placed me. In that moment I felt such fear, such completeness. I knew this night would be challenging. He allowed me to remain at his feet, my lips upon the toe of his boot for quite sometime. Finally he stood spoke a single word, “heel” and walked out the door. Oh my God! He was making me leave the house in the get-up. I knew better than to question him, or even stall in my obedience. Therefore, with dread in my heart, I followed. When we were in the van he told me that I would not speak this evening unless he directed me to do so or asked me a question. He told me that I would spend the night in silent contemplation of the last year. He advised that I be well prepared to confess each unknown transgression to him this evening. Then, He chuckled that chuckle again. I know he chuckled because he saw me turn pale as a ghost. I know he could hear that my heart has stopped beating, and my breath has stopped in my throat. He chuckled because He knew I died in the moment, but would live to face his wrath.
We spent the next few hours in the company of some friends. He has no qualms about advising them that I wasn’t permitted to speak this evening unless he instructed such. I can only imagine what the waiter thought when I looked to HIM when the waiter asked what I would be having. I was even taken aback when he told the waiter that I would be having bread and water for the evening as I was paying penitence….Our friends laughed at that. Gee, was I just thrilled to be the night’s amusement. I couldn’t help but squirm in my seat and work to hide the frown as I felt those horrid ruffles beneath me. With one stern look he warned me to sit still. I froze in place.
About 6 hours later ( I am certain it was at least that long) the waiter brought my water to the table. I smiled and gave him a small nod, my silent way of saying thank you. Although, I doubt he could see the smile for the red blushing that I was hidden behind. As I was about to take a drink of my water I felt His hand slide up my inner thigh. I gasped. They, our friends, all laughed. I was convinced that everyone in the restaurant could see him slide his finger into me. He thrust in and out of me teasing my clit for a moment. I was determined to remain silent and not move. Just when I couldn’t contain the moan for another moment he slid he finger out of me and stuck it into my glass. He smiled and said,” I thought you may like some sweetener, girl”. At this time the entire place erupted into hysterics. I know they all had to know what was going on. I died again.
I wanted to leave, hide, run, escape…. But where could I go. The only other option was home and I knew my turmoil was only going to increase once we got there. I tried so hard to focus my thoughts upon the last year, but I just couldn’t get past the humiliation of this moment. I knew better than to come up empty handed when he spoke his single command later that evening.
I was thankful to see dinner end yet was growing ever more anxious about the exchange that awaited me at home.
When we arrived home He called me to him and led me inside, by my hand. He rubbed my back softly and placed a single kiss upon my forehead. Hopefully, he didn’t taste the beads of sweat that had to be there. He smiled and then pushed me to my knees. He sat down on the edge of the bed and then spoke the word I had been dreading to hear all day… that single word that command above all commands…
“Confess”
So many things happened within me in that moment. I was a whirl of colliding emotions, I wasfilled with such confusion and clarity. This was it.
Slowly and bashfully, so ashamed I began to speak. I told Him of all my transgressions throughout the year. I told him how I had spoken the forbidden word 103 times without him hearing. I told him how I threw the cake pan away because I was too lazy to scrub it. I explained how I had hidden my emotions from him, even though he owned them and had a right to know of them. I admitted to masturbating 3 times without his permission, and cumming once during sex before he gave the permission. I confessed anger and jealousy, and staying up past the time I was supposed to be in bed. I confided in him about laziness and not always doing my best. I admitted the things I had mumbled under my breath and about forgetting to wash the dog. By the time I was finished speaking tears were already streaming down my face. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I felt a total failure and was angry at Him for making me admit my shortcomings and mistakes. Remember what I said about being a type A personality. My pride had taken a hit and the night had just begun.
When I finished speaking He stared at me for a few minutes then asked me if there were anything else. When I assured him that I had fully confessed he began to speak. He told me how He would never settle for less than my best and that I did not have the right to secrets, even if they were secret thoughts. He assured me that I would be punished for all of my misdeeds and shortcomings and no transgression would ever lay unknown or unpaid for between He and I. He began to tell me of how He was going to punish me and make me become more thoughtful and attentive to my service and obedience throughout the next year.
He instructed me to follow Him as he went into the bathroom. He told me about how he hates to hear THAT word from a woman’s mouth and how His Slave would not ever speak it. He warned me that it didn’t matter if he could hear it or not. It isn’t acceptable and for that transgression I would now pay. He picked up a bar of soap, wet it, and made me stick out my tongue. He rubbed the soap all in my mouth and instructed me to hold the soap. He then made me bend over the tub as he picked up a bath brush. He raised by skirt to my back, exposing the terrible frilly panties and brought the brush down upon my backside. From the very first swat I could barely breathe, between the pain and the soap. Again and again he rained down upon me with the bath brush. I could hear him counting quietly to himself. I knew that he would not stop until 103 swats had been delivered. Tears were streaming down my face, but I couldn’t even call out as there was a bar of soap in my mouth. He paused for a moment, only a brief moment. He stopped long enough to tell me that if I dropped the soap we would begin again. Needless to say, I bit down on that soap… yet tried to keep it off my tongue. When the torture and the punishment finally ended he allowed me to rinse my mouth for 30 seconds with warm water. I was so thankful that it was over, but I knew there were many transgressions left to be paid for that night.
For the cake pan I threw away and wasted his money he made me rewash every dish in the house by hand, dry them and place them back in the cupboards. When I was finished he made me lean over the counter and gave me a spanking with a plastic spatula and a wooden spoon. He advised me to remember that if I mistreat his property and the tools he provides me to make my service easier to him they will be used to teach me to have respect for them. I had no clue how much a wooden spoon and spatula could hurt. I think he gave me at least 50 swats with each.
Although my bottom was on fire the night had just begun. For the rest of the transgressions regarding not doing my best or laziness I was thoroughly spanked. He started with me over his knee and a firm lecture about obedience and respect. He punctuated his statements with firm swats with his hand. After he was finished he pulled up my dress and paddled me. I was crying and begging for mercy as the paddle fell time and time again upon my already sore behind. I was pleading with him for mercy and apologizing like a madwoman. He did not stop until he was through. I am sure He spanked me firmly for at least 20 minutes. At some point during that time He removed those terrible lacey panties, and I begged to have those horrid things back.
When he was finished he made me hold my skirt up and stand in the corner with my reddened ass exposed. He told me to think about how I came without permission and the times that I masturbated without his approval. He told me that he would be making me pay for that transgression in a few minutes and to prepare myself. As I stood there my legs were shaking and I felt so weak. I was dizzy and humiliated. My face was burning and my eyes were itching. I couldn’t breathe for all of the tears… and I knew there was more to come. When I knew I couldn’t possibly stand for another minute he called me to him.
He made me tell him how I had masturbated which was so embarrassing. That alone would have been punishment enough in my mind, but his mind is what matters. Since I stated I had used my hands he swatted them each 30 times with a ruler. Then he made me get on all fours and he played with my clit, until I begged to cum. When I would ask he would stop, tell me no, and strap me with a leather strap. He was hit me at least a dozen times then go back to fingering me again. Every time I would ask to cum he would strap me again. He did this at least ten times. I needed to cum so badly, but knew if I asked I would be spanked more. I also knew if I did cum without permission the punishment would be more than I could ever imagine. He then asked me who was in control of my orgasm now. By the time he was finished I had begged, and promised to never ever cum again without his approval.
Finally it stopped!
He took me into his arms and said to me, “ My precious slave girl. You have done well and paid for your transgressions. I am proud of you”
He then, massaged my clit until I begged for release and he said “Cum for me now”. When I finally recovered I thanked him time and time again and apologized over and over for my failings throughout that year.
He spoke with such finality and authority” It is forgiven baby girl, we shall never speak of it again” Then he grabbed me by the pig tails pulled me close and kissed me ever so deeply. He nipped at my lip, until I am sure he tasted a bit of blood. He thrust his tongue into my mouth, the kiss of a Master, my Master. It was in that moment that I heard the clock chime… It was Midnight.
He growled into my ear, “Happy New Year slave. You may begin the year with a clean slate.You are absolved”
Maggi
12/26/2005