don't listen to the voices in your head, they lie
There's some things that you just don't see coming and when they hit, you they hit you pretty fucking hard. I really don't understand your reasons; I think most of them are just the voices telling you that you're going to fail and so you might as well just give up and be mediocre. You are the best at what you do and to say that it isn't meant for you is to deny the gifts you've been given. None of us like most of what happens, none of us enjoy anything except the thrill that brought us together in the first place. The emotional ups and downs and being away from everything for hours, days, and weeks just waiting for the next one doesn't help one's self-image or outlook. I beg you to reconsider, but I love you and hopefully will understand whatever ends up happening.
The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long and you have burned so very, very brightly...
The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long and you have burned so very, very brightly...