It's been a while since I've held my head up high...
Okay, so my "moot" outlook on relatships (as someone has called it) has changed... prepare to be surprised... I have a boyfriend *pauses for the gasping of the peanut gallery* Yes, I, amanda sessions, who have sworn off men... have started dating yet again. Now please sit down as I am about to shock you some more. You might want to hold onto your pants for this one, because I would hate to see you lose them from the mere shock of what I am about to say. This is... yet another long distance relationship...
NOT only is it long distance... but I met him in EC. What are the chances of that??? I am dating again, okay, so no one took me seriously when I swore off men but still... long distance? A guy from EC? What am I thinking? Well I'm not to be perfectly honest, I am just letting happen what happens. Because why should I push everyone away? Why shouldn't I give him a chance? We've been talking for what feels like forever? Then one day... after his phone died and he called me back... basically the first thing he does is ask me to be his girlfriend. I was like... huh? What did you say? Are you serious? Because frankly... though he will deny it, I'm sure... he is WAY out of my league, not to mention all the crap he was going through, the last thing I ever expected was for him to want to date me, to even give it a try.
But hey... I'm not complaining. ^-^...
So there you go, the skippy of it all...
on to other things... lol, I will limit my girly rantiness to a short novel a day...so yeah, lol
Let's see... I've been having trouble sleeping lately... don't really know why... probably because I have way too much on my mind. I find that I am no longer anywhere near as open as i had once been when I first started this livejournal. It makes me sad to see that I have allowed the harsh and cruel reality of life to harden me against others. It's heart wrenchingly sad. I was so innocent. Now I'm innocence lost. So many things I've done that I never dreamed I would do. So many things that I swore I would never do. And things left undone that I promised i would do. I don't like seeing how my life has run astray. Like I took the wrong path... but perhaps it's simply a harder path for me to walk? I am not sure. A failed short cut? Maybe eventually I will find my way back to the main rode and continue on my journey that I was always suppose to trek? I am not sure. Maybe what I need to do is just stop thinking about myself so much. Stop thinking about all the useless things that I think about... I always say that... maybe if I keep saying it then someday I will actually do it.
Anyway, I keep finding reasons to trust people less and less. I don't hold people at an armslength away... I grab two ten foot poles and swing them around... then I dare you to approach me...mwhahahahaha! lol, sorry, my imagination runs away with me sometimes... anyway... I just... i don't know... I am just WAY to paranoid. I am always assuming that everyone is scheming behind my back. Bleh. Anyway, i wont continue with this subject... he he
Okay... as much as everyone is so sick of hearing the sort of stuff I am about to tlak about... I still feel I need to talk about it. I have been very happy the past couple of weeks... the past month... and it's not just because I've had a boyfriend... though that helps a lot, it's kind of sad how that makes me so obnoxiously happy. Anyway... I've been the happiest I've been in a while... until last night... it was just weird...maybe the scorpion vemon is getting to my brain lol... I'll explain that in a bit... anyway. I ended up falling asleep on the couch briefly while Wade played Knights of the Old Republic... awesome game. WHen I woke up I went to my room because I knew that Jeremy would be calling soon. As soon as I laid down I was struck pretty heavy by this strong emotion of dispair and sorrow... I haven't hte slightest idea why? I can't even explain it... it was horrible, then I just started crying... sobbing almost... it was... weird... i hope it was just some weird little thing that won't happen again. I hate crying... I hate being sad... I especially hate it when I have no reason for either one of them and yet... I still cry and I still become sad??? Atleast it was temporary, it was gone right before I had to let jeremy go for the night. lol. It's nice when his voice is the last one I hear before I go to sleep, and the first one I hear when I wake up... I'm so gay... anyway... good mood today...
I need to do something to livin up my livejournal... make it spiffy... perhaps a back ground... with stars... I love stars... I'm so gay lol
OH! Scorpion. So The night before I had finally fallen asleep, I might have been asleep for like... an hour... when I feel something on my shoulder (i'm a light sleeper) I thought my hair was just tickling me so I brushed it off to where it wouldn't bother me... next thing I know there is something stinging my hand... I was like AHHH!!!!! And flung it off and I was like.. huh? what? Bleh!!!! And yeah... it sucked... that is the WORST way to wake up in the morning, I am NOT even kidding you!
I am craving some wendy's... hmm...
I think I will go now
sweet dreams
amanda
NOT only is it long distance... but I met him in EC. What are the chances of that??? I am dating again, okay, so no one took me seriously when I swore off men but still... long distance? A guy from EC? What am I thinking? Well I'm not to be perfectly honest, I am just letting happen what happens. Because why should I push everyone away? Why shouldn't I give him a chance? We've been talking for what feels like forever? Then one day... after his phone died and he called me back... basically the first thing he does is ask me to be his girlfriend. I was like... huh? What did you say? Are you serious? Because frankly... though he will deny it, I'm sure... he is WAY out of my league, not to mention all the crap he was going through, the last thing I ever expected was for him to want to date me, to even give it a try.
But hey... I'm not complaining. ^-^...
So there you go, the skippy of it all...
on to other things... lol, I will limit my girly rantiness to a short novel a day...so yeah, lol
Let's see... I've been having trouble sleeping lately... don't really know why... probably because I have way too much on my mind. I find that I am no longer anywhere near as open as i had once been when I first started this livejournal. It makes me sad to see that I have allowed the harsh and cruel reality of life to harden me against others. It's heart wrenchingly sad. I was so innocent. Now I'm innocence lost. So many things I've done that I never dreamed I would do. So many things that I swore I would never do. And things left undone that I promised i would do. I don't like seeing how my life has run astray. Like I took the wrong path... but perhaps it's simply a harder path for me to walk? I am not sure. A failed short cut? Maybe eventually I will find my way back to the main rode and continue on my journey that I was always suppose to trek? I am not sure. Maybe what I need to do is just stop thinking about myself so much. Stop thinking about all the useless things that I think about... I always say that... maybe if I keep saying it then someday I will actually do it.
Anyway, I keep finding reasons to trust people less and less. I don't hold people at an armslength away... I grab two ten foot poles and swing them around... then I dare you to approach me...mwhahahahaha! lol, sorry, my imagination runs away with me sometimes... anyway... I just... i don't know... I am just WAY to paranoid. I am always assuming that everyone is scheming behind my back. Bleh. Anyway, i wont continue with this subject... he he
Okay... as much as everyone is so sick of hearing the sort of stuff I am about to tlak about... I still feel I need to talk about it. I have been very happy the past couple of weeks... the past month... and it's not just because I've had a boyfriend... though that helps a lot, it's kind of sad how that makes me so obnoxiously happy. Anyway... I've been the happiest I've been in a while... until last night... it was just weird...maybe the scorpion vemon is getting to my brain lol... I'll explain that in a bit... anyway. I ended up falling asleep on the couch briefly while Wade played Knights of the Old Republic... awesome game. WHen I woke up I went to my room because I knew that Jeremy would be calling soon. As soon as I laid down I was struck pretty heavy by this strong emotion of dispair and sorrow... I haven't hte slightest idea why? I can't even explain it... it was horrible, then I just started crying... sobbing almost... it was... weird... i hope it was just some weird little thing that won't happen again. I hate crying... I hate being sad... I especially hate it when I have no reason for either one of them and yet... I still cry and I still become sad??? Atleast it was temporary, it was gone right before I had to let jeremy go for the night. lol. It's nice when his voice is the last one I hear before I go to sleep, and the first one I hear when I wake up... I'm so gay... anyway... good mood today...
I need to do something to livin up my livejournal... make it spiffy... perhaps a back ground... with stars... I love stars... I'm so gay lol
OH! Scorpion. So The night before I had finally fallen asleep, I might have been asleep for like... an hour... when I feel something on my shoulder (i'm a light sleeper) I thought my hair was just tickling me so I brushed it off to where it wouldn't bother me... next thing I know there is something stinging my hand... I was like AHHH!!!!! And flung it off and I was like.. huh? what? Bleh!!!! And yeah... it sucked... that is the WORST way to wake up in the morning, I am NOT even kidding you!
I am craving some wendy's... hmm...
I think I will go now
sweet dreams
amanda