Office Games (Jack/Daniel friendship) PG
Icon fic.
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I'm trying to wind up a few loose fic ends this weekend so I'm free for all the bigger projects I've got going.
For whiterabbit__
Jack/Daniel friendship. Humor.
Office Games
By Jennghis
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Daniel's phone was ringing. Insistently.
He took a quick glance at the various stacks of paper covering his desk, his hands hovering over them protectively as his eyes darted back and forth making sure they were all in order. He knew he was late; it was as good as it was going to get. He snatched up the phone. "Jackson."
"Daniel!" Jack's voice was irritated and that little bit patronizing that Daniel tried not to take personally. "You do realize your presentation was at ten o'clock? That's when the small hand is on the ten and the big hand is on the twelve. Do you know where the big hand is right now?"
Daniel glanced at the digital clock on his desk and rolled his eyes. "I'll be right there, Jack."
"It's on the four, Daniel." And then in a lower tone, "Get your ass up here, now. Hammond's threatening to hang you by the short hairs."
"Okay, bye!" Daniel winced a bit at the mental image of George and short hairs. He quickly picked up one of the stacks of paper and tapped it smartly on the desktop to bring the edges in line. He yanked open his desk drawer and pulled out a box of paperclips, flipping the ragged top open and grabbing one.
When he brought it up to slide it over the top edge of the stack, he was stopped cold by the long trail of extra paperclips that followed the first one out of the box. They draped out of the box and fell onto the floor with a soft continuous tinking sound. He stared at them.
Someone had meticulously connected each paperclip to another, forming a long chain. It would take several long minutes to free up enough clips to get his presentation in order; the better half of an hour to get them all free for future use. There was only one man in the SGC willing and able to put that much time into such a useless endeavor.
Daniel glared at the chain and then scowled in the direction of the presentation room. "Jack!" He shouted, angrily.
He could practically hear the Colonel laughing.
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Jack sat quietly at his desk methodically hooking one paperclip to another. He glanced warily at his inbox and the stack of folders that were piled high there. Maybe he could bribe Carter later to help him get through it all. His eyes slid to the little bobble-headed figure of Kinsey that Carter had found for him on Ebay. It was a bad year for the politicians, great year for desk toys though. He stabbed at the overly-large head of the cartoonish, plastic Kinsey, and it bounced eagerly up and down for him. He smiled.
He hooked another clip onto the chain and smiled with satisfaction at the way it already covered his desk. He'd spent the better half of the morning getting this beauty ready for action. Five boxes of paperclips and counting, it would be his crowning achievement! And the best part is that the victim would be exactly the same. The great thing about Daniel was that he tried to cram too much information into his brain at one time, and therefore his memory was always busy with other things. He was always oblivious. It was so easy to get the man twice on the same joke.
Hell, Jack might go for three after this one. He grinned. He was so the man when it came to practical jokes.
His phone rang. Jack plucked up the receiver. "O'Neill."
"Jack," Daniel's voice was chirpy and upbeat as usual.
"What do you want, Daniel?" Jack glanced at his inbox. "I'm, uh... really busy."
"Right." There was a familiar hint of sarcasm to Daniel's voice. "Hey, I need some paperclips, you got any? The office supplies clerk says he ordered a whole box last week but they've all seemed to disappear suddenly."
Jack smiled. "You don't say? Huh. That's odd."
"Yeah. Anyway, I've got to get these reports up to Sam, and she's out too, so..."
Jack glanced at his monster chain. "I'll be right down with some. A whole box."
"Great!"
Jack hung up, suppressing a chuckle. Not only was Daniel asking for it himself, but this time Jack would get to watch the prank being played out. Life was good!
He carefully threaded the chain back into one of the jumbo paperclip boxes that he'd saved just for this, and then he stood up and shoved his chair back in glee.
There was a startling crash as his phone, toys, inbox and everything on his desktop, save his computer monitor, went flying off and clattering onto the floor. The papers from the folders in his inbox scattered across his office and fluttered to the floor everywhere.
Jack's mouth dropped open. What the...
He leaned forward over his desk and stared at the mess on the floor, and the confusion slowly gave way to a sinking suspicion. He frowned at his Kinsey bobble-head lying in two pieces on the floor, and then squinted and made out the brief glint of fishing line leading from it to his phone. He followed the line back around his desk to the leg of his chair.
His brows slanted down over his eyes, and he launched himself around the desk, his paperclip chain forgotten.
"Daniel!" he growled, flying through the door.
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But Daniel had anticipated the retaliation and had fled his lab, leaving Jack to stalk the corridors of the SGC scattering the groups of random airmen who got in his way.
He finally caught up to Daniel in the briefing room.
"Hey!" Jack barked sharply, hurrying to cut him off before he made it around the table to the stairs and escaped.
"Hi, Jack!" Daniel said brightly from across the table. He punctuated the greeting with a cheery wave, but his body language was wary.
"You!" Jack pointed at him. "Do you have any idea of the mess you created in my office?"
Daniel gave him an over-the-top look of innocence. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Oh, please. Fishing line? That's the oldest prank in the book."
"Really? Are you sure the oldest prank isn't a paperclip chain?" Daniel casually moved to the right.
Jack quickly moved to his left to head him off. "It worked, didn't it?"
Daniel scowled and darted to his left. "Yes," he said dryly. "Thank you for that. Hammond thinks I'm late because I have too much to do. He's threatening to pull me from the PTX-987 translations."
Jack had no idea what those were about. "You broke my Kinsey bobble-head!"
"You broke my entire presentation!"
There was a sudden shout from the other side of the room as Hammond burst up the stairs, startling them both. "What the HELL is going on?"
They stared at him, surprised and speechless.
Hammond glared at them. "Well? Right now, gentlemen! I've got the Director of Homeland Security and Senator Feingold both downstairs in the control room on a tour, for God's sake!"
"Sorry, sir," Jack straightened to attention.
"Yeah," Daniel agreed. He shuffled nervously. "Um, I mean, sorry, sir."
Hammond shifted his gaze sternly from one of them to the other. "When we get back here, I expect you two to have this all settled and be on your best behavior. Got it?"
Daniel nodded.
"Of course, sir." Jack gave him a reassuring smile.
Hammond tilted his head suspiciously. "I mean it, boys. Behave, or your next mission will be guarding Doctors Felger and Coombs while they do a two week mineral survey in the deserts of PTC-566."
Jack winced and glanced at Daniel who glanced back with a fearful expression.
"Dismissed," Hammond said, although he was the one to head back down the stairs to his tour.
When he was gone, Jack turned to look at Daniel. "So..."
Daniel cleared his throat. "So..."
Jack shrugged. "Maybe the paperclip thing is a little... old."
Daniel pursed his lips and nodded. "I'll get Sam to find you a new Kinsey doll."
"It's not a doll," Jack protested quietly.
"Whatever," Daniel insisted. "Just as long as we don't have to spend two weeks with Felger."
Jack huffed out a laugh. "Exactly." He stared through Hammond's office window and his expression faded to one of concern. "Huh."
"What?" Daniel regarded him uneasily.
"Nothing." Jack slid his jaw from side to side. He glanced at Daniel. "I mean-" he sighed reluctantly. "We should probably disarm the prank I set up in Hammond's office just to be sure."
"What?" Daniel gaped at him with wide eyes. "What did you do, Jack?"
Jack gave him a helpless smile. "Do you know how to dissolve super-glue?"
Daniel blinked at him. "Oh, you didn't..." He walked quickly into the General's office and tried to pick up his stapler. He strained as it remained firmly in place. "Shit!" He turned to give Jack a very explicit look. You idiot!
Jack didn't disagree. He chewed worriedly at his bottom lip. "What are we going to do?"
"We?" Daniel asked, imperiously.
"You think he'll believe you had nothing to do with this after that whole scene?" Jack motioned toward the briefing room.
Daniel gave him a look of sheer irritation and resignation before setting his shoulders firmly and meeting Jack's gaze with steady eyes. "We need Sam."
Jack nodded. "Let's go."
On their way through the corridors, Daniel glanced at him. "What do you think this will cost us?"
Jack shrugged. "Whatever she wants. If she balks, we'll tell Hammond it was her idea. She'll do anything to get out of a mission with Felger."
Daniel grinned. "Good point."
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I'm trying to wind up a few loose fic ends this weekend so I'm free for all the bigger projects I've got going.
For whiterabbit__
Jack/Daniel friendship. Humor.
Office Games
By Jennghis
+
Daniel's phone was ringing. Insistently.
He took a quick glance at the various stacks of paper covering his desk, his hands hovering over them protectively as his eyes darted back and forth making sure they were all in order. He knew he was late; it was as good as it was going to get. He snatched up the phone. "Jackson."
"Daniel!" Jack's voice was irritated and that little bit patronizing that Daniel tried not to take personally. "You do realize your presentation was at ten o'clock? That's when the small hand is on the ten and the big hand is on the twelve. Do you know where the big hand is right now?"
Daniel glanced at the digital clock on his desk and rolled his eyes. "I'll be right there, Jack."
"It's on the four, Daniel." And then in a lower tone, "Get your ass up here, now. Hammond's threatening to hang you by the short hairs."
"Okay, bye!" Daniel winced a bit at the mental image of George and short hairs. He quickly picked up one of the stacks of paper and tapped it smartly on the desktop to bring the edges in line. He yanked open his desk drawer and pulled out a box of paperclips, flipping the ragged top open and grabbing one.
When he brought it up to slide it over the top edge of the stack, he was stopped cold by the long trail of extra paperclips that followed the first one out of the box. They draped out of the box and fell onto the floor with a soft continuous tinking sound. He stared at them.
Someone had meticulously connected each paperclip to another, forming a long chain. It would take several long minutes to free up enough clips to get his presentation in order; the better half of an hour to get them all free for future use. There was only one man in the SGC willing and able to put that much time into such a useless endeavor.
Daniel glared at the chain and then scowled in the direction of the presentation room. "Jack!" He shouted, angrily.
He could practically hear the Colonel laughing.
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Jack sat quietly at his desk methodically hooking one paperclip to another. He glanced warily at his inbox and the stack of folders that were piled high there. Maybe he could bribe Carter later to help him get through it all. His eyes slid to the little bobble-headed figure of Kinsey that Carter had found for him on Ebay. It was a bad year for the politicians, great year for desk toys though. He stabbed at the overly-large head of the cartoonish, plastic Kinsey, and it bounced eagerly up and down for him. He smiled.
He hooked another clip onto the chain and smiled with satisfaction at the way it already covered his desk. He'd spent the better half of the morning getting this beauty ready for action. Five boxes of paperclips and counting, it would be his crowning achievement! And the best part is that the victim would be exactly the same. The great thing about Daniel was that he tried to cram too much information into his brain at one time, and therefore his memory was always busy with other things. He was always oblivious. It was so easy to get the man twice on the same joke.
Hell, Jack might go for three after this one. He grinned. He was so the man when it came to practical jokes.
His phone rang. Jack plucked up the receiver. "O'Neill."
"Jack," Daniel's voice was chirpy and upbeat as usual.
"What do you want, Daniel?" Jack glanced at his inbox. "I'm, uh... really busy."
"Right." There was a familiar hint of sarcasm to Daniel's voice. "Hey, I need some paperclips, you got any? The office supplies clerk says he ordered a whole box last week but they've all seemed to disappear suddenly."
Jack smiled. "You don't say? Huh. That's odd."
"Yeah. Anyway, I've got to get these reports up to Sam, and she's out too, so..."
Jack glanced at his monster chain. "I'll be right down with some. A whole box."
"Great!"
Jack hung up, suppressing a chuckle. Not only was Daniel asking for it himself, but this time Jack would get to watch the prank being played out. Life was good!
He carefully threaded the chain back into one of the jumbo paperclip boxes that he'd saved just for this, and then he stood up and shoved his chair back in glee.
There was a startling crash as his phone, toys, inbox and everything on his desktop, save his computer monitor, went flying off and clattering onto the floor. The papers from the folders in his inbox scattered across his office and fluttered to the floor everywhere.
Jack's mouth dropped open. What the...
He leaned forward over his desk and stared at the mess on the floor, and the confusion slowly gave way to a sinking suspicion. He frowned at his Kinsey bobble-head lying in two pieces on the floor, and then squinted and made out the brief glint of fishing line leading from it to his phone. He followed the line back around his desk to the leg of his chair.
His brows slanted down over his eyes, and he launched himself around the desk, his paperclip chain forgotten.
"Daniel!" he growled, flying through the door.
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But Daniel had anticipated the retaliation and had fled his lab, leaving Jack to stalk the corridors of the SGC scattering the groups of random airmen who got in his way.
He finally caught up to Daniel in the briefing room.
"Hey!" Jack barked sharply, hurrying to cut him off before he made it around the table to the stairs and escaped.
"Hi, Jack!" Daniel said brightly from across the table. He punctuated the greeting with a cheery wave, but his body language was wary.
"You!" Jack pointed at him. "Do you have any idea of the mess you created in my office?"
Daniel gave him an over-the-top look of innocence. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Oh, please. Fishing line? That's the oldest prank in the book."
"Really? Are you sure the oldest prank isn't a paperclip chain?" Daniel casually moved to the right.
Jack quickly moved to his left to head him off. "It worked, didn't it?"
Daniel scowled and darted to his left. "Yes," he said dryly. "Thank you for that. Hammond thinks I'm late because I have too much to do. He's threatening to pull me from the PTX-987 translations."
Jack had no idea what those were about. "You broke my Kinsey bobble-head!"
"You broke my entire presentation!"
There was a sudden shout from the other side of the room as Hammond burst up the stairs, startling them both. "What the HELL is going on?"
They stared at him, surprised and speechless.
Hammond glared at them. "Well? Right now, gentlemen! I've got the Director of Homeland Security and Senator Feingold both downstairs in the control room on a tour, for God's sake!"
"Sorry, sir," Jack straightened to attention.
"Yeah," Daniel agreed. He shuffled nervously. "Um, I mean, sorry, sir."
Hammond shifted his gaze sternly from one of them to the other. "When we get back here, I expect you two to have this all settled and be on your best behavior. Got it?"
Daniel nodded.
"Of course, sir." Jack gave him a reassuring smile.
Hammond tilted his head suspiciously. "I mean it, boys. Behave, or your next mission will be guarding Doctors Felger and Coombs while they do a two week mineral survey in the deserts of PTC-566."
Jack winced and glanced at Daniel who glanced back with a fearful expression.
"Dismissed," Hammond said, although he was the one to head back down the stairs to his tour.
When he was gone, Jack turned to look at Daniel. "So..."
Daniel cleared his throat. "So..."
Jack shrugged. "Maybe the paperclip thing is a little... old."
Daniel pursed his lips and nodded. "I'll get Sam to find you a new Kinsey doll."
"It's not a doll," Jack protested quietly.
"Whatever," Daniel insisted. "Just as long as we don't have to spend two weeks with Felger."
Jack huffed out a laugh. "Exactly." He stared through Hammond's office window and his expression faded to one of concern. "Huh."
"What?" Daniel regarded him uneasily.
"Nothing." Jack slid his jaw from side to side. He glanced at Daniel. "I mean-" he sighed reluctantly. "We should probably disarm the prank I set up in Hammond's office just to be sure."
"What?" Daniel gaped at him with wide eyes. "What did you do, Jack?"
Jack gave him a helpless smile. "Do you know how to dissolve super-glue?"
Daniel blinked at him. "Oh, you didn't..." He walked quickly into the General's office and tried to pick up his stapler. He strained as it remained firmly in place. "Shit!" He turned to give Jack a very explicit look. You idiot!
Jack didn't disagree. He chewed worriedly at his bottom lip. "What are we going to do?"
"We?" Daniel asked, imperiously.
"You think he'll believe you had nothing to do with this after that whole scene?" Jack motioned toward the briefing room.
Daniel gave him a look of sheer irritation and resignation before setting his shoulders firmly and meeting Jack's gaze with steady eyes. "We need Sam."
Jack nodded. "Let's go."
On their way through the corridors, Daniel glanced at him. "What do you think this will cost us?"
Jack shrugged. "Whatever she wants. If she balks, we'll tell Hammond it was her idea. She'll do anything to get out of a mission with Felger."
Daniel grinned. "Good point."
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