(no subject)
Writing helps.
I've been doing it obsessively lately cause I have nothing better to do besides smoke and get smashed. Like I said, it helps. For instance, I'm feeling a lot of anxiety over seeing old friends again. Especially the ones who went to top acting schools like I did. This is stupid but I'm very worried they're going to think they're better than me or something. I'm worried that they're going to look down on me because while I'm amazingly happy at syracuse and it works perfectly for me and it is recognized as one of the top acting schools in the country...it still doesn't have the name that NYU or Carnegie Melon or Juliard has. I don't know why it doesn't because when I talk to people in the industry they say that syracuse is just as good as those schools. But it doesn't. And while my friends aren't the type to think they're better than me over something as trivial as a school name...I'm nervous that they will.
SOoooo I started writing a play about that anxiety. I like how it's coming. It sucks serious balls...but I figure if I keep writing eventually I'll get better...I hope.
Also,
all my protagonists are huge failures with no self esteem...I wonder what that says about me.
I really need to work on my self confidence issues cause they're still there, I hide them really, REALLY well now but they're still there.
I've been doing it obsessively lately cause I have nothing better to do besides smoke and get smashed. Like I said, it helps. For instance, I'm feeling a lot of anxiety over seeing old friends again. Especially the ones who went to top acting schools like I did. This is stupid but I'm very worried they're going to think they're better than me or something. I'm worried that they're going to look down on me because while I'm amazingly happy at syracuse and it works perfectly for me and it is recognized as one of the top acting schools in the country...it still doesn't have the name that NYU or Carnegie Melon or Juliard has. I don't know why it doesn't because when I talk to people in the industry they say that syracuse is just as good as those schools. But it doesn't. And while my friends aren't the type to think they're better than me over something as trivial as a school name...I'm nervous that they will.
SOoooo I started writing a play about that anxiety. I like how it's coming. It sucks serious balls...but I figure if I keep writing eventually I'll get better...I hope.
Also,
all my protagonists are huge failures with no self esteem...I wonder what that says about me.
I really need to work on my self confidence issues cause they're still there, I hide them really, REALLY well now but they're still there.