(no subject)
I'm lonely and sick of javascript.
How are you?
I'll tell you how I'm doing. I'm sick, and have been since my birthday (which, by the by, was an adequately shitty day). the preceding night was nice, and the week before was as well. the day itself; not so good. my parents are very concerned about me. which is nice, at least i have people to be concerned about me. my mom is pretty sure i'm very depressed. which i probably am. this place is no good for me. at least, residence is not. we'll see about the school. (although i have yet to learn anything, besides getting frustrated)
At present, I have no power. and will not until mid-monday, if I'm lucky. no electricity at all. just me. because I wanted hot chocolate last night while watching tv and running a fridge. what i'm trying to figure out is how mr. downthehall can operate his enormous plasma tv and has yet to face this problem. did i mention this is the 2nd time this week? what fun.
anyway, i feel very much like i'm a shadow of what i thought i was 6 months ago. i have no desire to succeed or create any shortterm or longterm goals. i find the idea of doing anything other than sleeping tedious. i hate 3/4 classes passionately, to the point where my political science class has made me cry, vomit, and is essentially the embodiment of why i want to drop out. i hate the extreme bias, i hate the ball sucking grade grubbing neo-conservative 18 year old suits and ties, i hate how nobody here has any spark or crumb of intellectualism (myself included). nobody reads, i have yet to pass a day where i don't hear a minimum of 3 conversations about how wasted they god last night (especially when i spent 24 hours in my room). i hate the "jams" to dave matthews from down the hall at 3 am, i hate the "bros" and the frats and the lululemon tight pants and ugg boots. i hate the "DUDE I'M SO DRUNK!!!!!" at 4 pms, i hate whoever leaves toilet paper blocking the seat covered in piss, and i hate the person who pisses on the toilet seat even more. i hate the uniformity of everyone i walk by and how indistinguishable they are from eachother when they get into herds. they all dress the same and look the same and talk the same. they all have the same political beliefs and come from the same families and the same schools. i hate most that nobody wants to be different. maybe i just don't get university.
i have nothing intelligent to say. i haven't had an inspiring thought in months. my essays are uninspired masturbatory abortions...i always assumed that university is supposed to be this time to broaden your horizons and achieve the peak of your mind and read and have inspiring discussions and debates and go to coffeehouses and be bohemian. but so far, it's been nothing more than highschool with more alcohol and no restraints.
How are you?
I'll tell you how I'm doing. I'm sick, and have been since my birthday (which, by the by, was an adequately shitty day). the preceding night was nice, and the week before was as well. the day itself; not so good. my parents are very concerned about me. which is nice, at least i have people to be concerned about me. my mom is pretty sure i'm very depressed. which i probably am. this place is no good for me. at least, residence is not. we'll see about the school. (although i have yet to learn anything, besides getting frustrated)
At present, I have no power. and will not until mid-monday, if I'm lucky. no electricity at all. just me. because I wanted hot chocolate last night while watching tv and running a fridge. what i'm trying to figure out is how mr. downthehall can operate his enormous plasma tv and has yet to face this problem. did i mention this is the 2nd time this week? what fun.
anyway, i feel very much like i'm a shadow of what i thought i was 6 months ago. i have no desire to succeed or create any shortterm or longterm goals. i find the idea of doing anything other than sleeping tedious. i hate 3/4 classes passionately, to the point where my political science class has made me cry, vomit, and is essentially the embodiment of why i want to drop out. i hate the extreme bias, i hate the ball sucking grade grubbing neo-conservative 18 year old suits and ties, i hate how nobody here has any spark or crumb of intellectualism (myself included). nobody reads, i have yet to pass a day where i don't hear a minimum of 3 conversations about how wasted they god last night (especially when i spent 24 hours in my room). i hate the "jams" to dave matthews from down the hall at 3 am, i hate the "bros" and the frats and the lululemon tight pants and ugg boots. i hate the "DUDE I'M SO DRUNK!!!!!" at 4 pms, i hate whoever leaves toilet paper blocking the seat covered in piss, and i hate the person who pisses on the toilet seat even more. i hate the uniformity of everyone i walk by and how indistinguishable they are from eachother when they get into herds. they all dress the same and look the same and talk the same. they all have the same political beliefs and come from the same families and the same schools. i hate most that nobody wants to be different. maybe i just don't get university.
i have nothing intelligent to say. i haven't had an inspiring thought in months. my essays are uninspired masturbatory abortions...i always assumed that university is supposed to be this time to broaden your horizons and achieve the peak of your mind and read and have inspiring discussions and debates and go to coffeehouses and be bohemian. but so far, it's been nothing more than highschool with more alcohol and no restraints.