Tin Man fanfic: Some Things Are Different in the O.Z.
This...I just cannot explain. It's crack. But at least now it's out of my head and into yours.
Title: Some Things Are Different in the O.Z.
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Cain/Glitch, Raw/Jeb, DG
Summary: I...can't even imagine. Just...let's say it's part-crack, part-meta, and complete insanity.
DG woke up to a warm, cozy den, feeling more at home than she had in a long time.
She rolled her head to the side and froze, eyes impossibly wide.
There, on the opposite couch, was Raw, comfortably sprawled with Jeb's head in his lap. One big, gentle hand was lazily stroking Jeb's hair. Now, this was not an usual sight on any night at the Palace.
What gave her pause...that is, what confused the living crap out of her, was where Raw's other hand was resting. Draped almost possessively over Jeb's abdomen...his very round, very pregnant abdomen.
DG closed her eyes, counted to ten very slowly and chanced another look. Nothing changed.
She sat up slowly, the blanket covering her dropping down into a pile on her lap. "Um, Jeb?"
Jeb turned his head toward her sleepily, a faint smile on his lips. "Princess?"
"How...long have you been...uh, expecting?"
His little smile turned into a perplexed frown. "Huh...I think," he started, looking up at Raw. "Just over eight months, now?"
DG most definitely did not remember Jeb being in this condition the last time she saw him. Which was...this morning? At breakfast? Wait, what were we doing -
"Is something wrong, DG?" Glitch's voice startled her out of her drifting thoughts and she turned to see Glitch and Cain curled up together on another piece of furniture, their favorite oversized, overstuffed chair. "You sound like this is the first you've heard the news."
"It...let's pretend it is," DG said slowly, turning back to the odd display of domestic normality. "How did...Jeb, you're a guy!"
Jeb snorted. "Last I looked," he shifted a bit, bringing his own hand up to rub absently at his belly.
"How did you get pregnant?"
"Well, when two people love each other very much - "
DG growled in frustration. "I know that part! I just - men can't have babies!"
It was Raw who looked confused this time, but then his face lit up in understanding. "DG not grow up in Outer Zone! Does not know!"
"Oh!" Glitch exclaimed, clapping a hand over his mouth in dismay. "I hadn't even thought of that! Deeg, I know where you grew up women bear children, but here it's the men who carry the offspring. I'm sorry, we just assumed you knew!"
DG rubbed her temples, trying to dispel the growing headache. "Let me get this straight. Jeb's pregnant, with what I can only assume is Raw's kid. Does that mean Wyatt gave birth to Jeb?!"
"Of course," Wyatt shrugged. "He was a pretty easy pregnancy, actually. I got lucky with him."
Jeb sighed. "I'm hoping that's at least hereditary. I won't let Raw tell me if it's a boy or a girl, but I can already tell this kid's size takes after Raw." He stroked his thumb over his abdomen.
"But wait - does that mean Ahamo had Az and me?" DG stared at them in horror, looking over at Glitch.
"Well, no," Glitch answered, tilting his head thoughtfully. "See, he was from the Other Side, so he couldn't have kids."
DG hesitated. "So, if my mom didn't have us, and Ahamo couldn't, who did?"
"They had a surrogate," Cain answered.
"Who?"
Glitch grinned and gave a little wave of his hand.
~~
DG woke up with a scream, which startled all four men hovering over her anxiously into jumping back.
"Oh, DG, you had us scared out of our minds!" Glitch was the first to go back to hovering over her face, his hands wringing worriedly. "You hit your head when you fell on the ice and even Raw couldn't wake you up and - "
"That's enough, Glitch, give her some air," Cain's hand came from behind Glitch, wrapping over his shoulder and pulling him back. Cain himself came into view, if slightly blurry. "How's the head, kid?"
Taking a moment to blink things into focus, DG turned to look at Jeb. Who looked normal and decidedly not pregnant. She sighed, then looked back at Glitch. "Please tell me you weren't the one to give birth to my sister and I."
Glitch gaped at her for a moment, then looked down at himself. "Do these look like birthing hips to you?"
DG groaned and covered her face with gloved hands. She vowed never to go ice skating again.
**
End
You read it. You can't UNREAD IT.
Title: Some Things Are Different in the O.Z.
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Cain/Glitch, Raw/Jeb, DG
Summary: I...can't even imagine. Just...let's say it's part-crack, part-meta, and complete insanity.
DG woke up to a warm, cozy den, feeling more at home than she had in a long time.
She rolled her head to the side and froze, eyes impossibly wide.
There, on the opposite couch, was Raw, comfortably sprawled with Jeb's head in his lap. One big, gentle hand was lazily stroking Jeb's hair. Now, this was not an usual sight on any night at the Palace.
What gave her pause...that is, what confused the living crap out of her, was where Raw's other hand was resting. Draped almost possessively over Jeb's abdomen...his very round, very pregnant abdomen.
DG closed her eyes, counted to ten very slowly and chanced another look. Nothing changed.
She sat up slowly, the blanket covering her dropping down into a pile on her lap. "Um, Jeb?"
Jeb turned his head toward her sleepily, a faint smile on his lips. "Princess?"
"How...long have you been...uh, expecting?"
His little smile turned into a perplexed frown. "Huh...I think," he started, looking up at Raw. "Just over eight months, now?"
DG most definitely did not remember Jeb being in this condition the last time she saw him. Which was...this morning? At breakfast? Wait, what were we doing -
"Is something wrong, DG?" Glitch's voice startled her out of her drifting thoughts and she turned to see Glitch and Cain curled up together on another piece of furniture, their favorite oversized, overstuffed chair. "You sound like this is the first you've heard the news."
"It...let's pretend it is," DG said slowly, turning back to the odd display of domestic normality. "How did...Jeb, you're a guy!"
Jeb snorted. "Last I looked," he shifted a bit, bringing his own hand up to rub absently at his belly.
"How did you get pregnant?"
"Well, when two people love each other very much - "
DG growled in frustration. "I know that part! I just - men can't have babies!"
It was Raw who looked confused this time, but then his face lit up in understanding. "DG not grow up in Outer Zone! Does not know!"
"Oh!" Glitch exclaimed, clapping a hand over his mouth in dismay. "I hadn't even thought of that! Deeg, I know where you grew up women bear children, but here it's the men who carry the offspring. I'm sorry, we just assumed you knew!"
DG rubbed her temples, trying to dispel the growing headache. "Let me get this straight. Jeb's pregnant, with what I can only assume is Raw's kid. Does that mean Wyatt gave birth to Jeb?!"
"Of course," Wyatt shrugged. "He was a pretty easy pregnancy, actually. I got lucky with him."
Jeb sighed. "I'm hoping that's at least hereditary. I won't let Raw tell me if it's a boy or a girl, but I can already tell this kid's size takes after Raw." He stroked his thumb over his abdomen.
"But wait - does that mean Ahamo had Az and me?" DG stared at them in horror, looking over at Glitch.
"Well, no," Glitch answered, tilting his head thoughtfully. "See, he was from the Other Side, so he couldn't have kids."
DG hesitated. "So, if my mom didn't have us, and Ahamo couldn't, who did?"
"They had a surrogate," Cain answered.
"Who?"
Glitch grinned and gave a little wave of his hand.
~~
DG woke up with a scream, which startled all four men hovering over her anxiously into jumping back.
"Oh, DG, you had us scared out of our minds!" Glitch was the first to go back to hovering over her face, his hands wringing worriedly. "You hit your head when you fell on the ice and even Raw couldn't wake you up and - "
"That's enough, Glitch, give her some air," Cain's hand came from behind Glitch, wrapping over his shoulder and pulling him back. Cain himself came into view, if slightly blurry. "How's the head, kid?"
Taking a moment to blink things into focus, DG turned to look at Jeb. Who looked normal and decidedly not pregnant. She sighed, then looked back at Glitch. "Please tell me you weren't the one to give birth to my sister and I."
Glitch gaped at her for a moment, then looked down at himself. "Do these look like birthing hips to you?"
DG groaned and covered her face with gloved hands. She vowed never to go ice skating again.
**
End
You read it. You can't UNREAD IT.