what now
what i am;
i am a good man,
i am funny,
i am the the dispenser of reality checks,
i am (SOMETIMES) the centre or attention,
i am caring,
i am serious,
i am smart,
i am creative,
i am a traveller, even a gypsy perhaps,
i am a storyteller,
i am special,
i am tired,
i am, when neccassary devastating.
i am not;
i am not hurtful,
i am not super high on myself,
i am not stubborn, once and a while....
i am not irrational,
i am not a bad person,
i am not a statistic,
i am not evil, i dont think.....
i was;
i was different,
i was quiet, SURPRISE SURPRISE
i was just the kid in the back,
i was a deckhand,
i was the quiet hard worker in another province,
i was annoying,
i was alone in the world, or felt alone
i was feelin doubtful about myself,
i was weak.
i have had many adventures. some unforgettable, and some even perilous. over the last decade since i started out in the job force i have been on many different payrolls for different companies. i have learned many things from each job/position.
i have made quite a few decisions in my life, decisions that changed my outlook on life. not severely, but just seein things in a new perspective.
each choice is a mountain. and as always, theres more or less just two choices. when i was younger, not that im that fuckin old, i would take the monstrous perilous unsure vertical choice where i had no idea what the outcome would be. i always overlooked the "safe" or "secure" clear path. that path never appealled to me. i always wanted to overcome adversity and prove myself for some reason. "Look what andy did, if he can do it so can i."
as of late i havent felt like i have been using my full potential, whatever my potential really is. i have been a drone, just doing what im told. i look around and i see ppl my age and even younger than me are more focused on their lives. i also see older ppl at my work and other jobs i worked at that are still just "making it by" and living check to check. and to look in their eyes and see them "content" with what they have. that look is half good half bad. the good part is; it makes me realize the KEY TO LIFE; HAPPINESS. the bad thing is they will probably be in the category of "labour"
it kinda hurts to see my dad walk in the door every day with a limp, aching bones and tired eyes. still doin labour supporting this house. he always grunts when he gets up out of his chair. that and some advice from an uncle of mine who is in carpentry who i worked with in my teens. "Use your brains nephew, dont grow up and use just your mucsles and end up sore as hell like i am every day. use that brain of yours and be/do something different. GO SEE THE WORLD."
theres a hell of alot more rattlin in my brain right now, but this is all i can type and still have it legible at this point, im gonna hold down teh couch and ponder more.
i am a good man,
i am funny,
i am the the dispenser of reality checks,
i am (SOMETIMES) the centre or attention,
i am caring,
i am serious,
i am smart,
i am creative,
i am a traveller, even a gypsy perhaps,
i am a storyteller,
i am special,
i am tired,
i am, when neccassary devastating.
i am not;
i am not hurtful,
i am not super high on myself,
i am not stubborn, once and a while....
i am not irrational,
i am not a bad person,
i am not a statistic,
i am not evil, i dont think.....
i was;
i was different,
i was quiet, SURPRISE SURPRISE
i was just the kid in the back,
i was a deckhand,
i was the quiet hard worker in another province,
i was annoying,
i was alone in the world, or felt alone
i was feelin doubtful about myself,
i was weak.
i have had many adventures. some unforgettable, and some even perilous. over the last decade since i started out in the job force i have been on many different payrolls for different companies. i have learned many things from each job/position.
i have made quite a few decisions in my life, decisions that changed my outlook on life. not severely, but just seein things in a new perspective.
each choice is a mountain. and as always, theres more or less just two choices. when i was younger, not that im that fuckin old, i would take the monstrous perilous unsure vertical choice where i had no idea what the outcome would be. i always overlooked the "safe" or "secure" clear path. that path never appealled to me. i always wanted to overcome adversity and prove myself for some reason. "Look what andy did, if he can do it so can i."
as of late i havent felt like i have been using my full potential, whatever my potential really is. i have been a drone, just doing what im told. i look around and i see ppl my age and even younger than me are more focused on their lives. i also see older ppl at my work and other jobs i worked at that are still just "making it by" and living check to check. and to look in their eyes and see them "content" with what they have. that look is half good half bad. the good part is; it makes me realize the KEY TO LIFE; HAPPINESS. the bad thing is they will probably be in the category of "labour"
it kinda hurts to see my dad walk in the door every day with a limp, aching bones and tired eyes. still doin labour supporting this house. he always grunts when he gets up out of his chair. that and some advice from an uncle of mine who is in carpentry who i worked with in my teens. "Use your brains nephew, dont grow up and use just your mucsles and end up sore as hell like i am every day. use that brain of yours and be/do something different. GO SEE THE WORLD."
theres a hell of alot more rattlin in my brain right now, but this is all i can type and still have it legible at this point, im gonna hold down teh couch and ponder more.