Oh, I've lost it for good now
For some inexplicable reason, the last several months have seen me growing ever more obsessed with Canada. I originally blamed it on a combination of South Park (I have an unhealthy fixation on the way they portray Canadians. Ike is my fave character of all time, and I sing "Canada on Strike" and "There's No Canada like French Canada" very loudly and very frequently when I'm home alone) and the old Bob and Doug Mackenzie/Great White North skits and the Strange Brew movie they did. Oh, and the fact that I'm finally learning more about my lineage going back to the King's Daughters back when France first began settling the area. I've always been very much in tune with my Norwegian heritage, but lately my inner Montrealian has been clamoring for attention. As evidenced during the "GO HABS!" trance I slipped into during a hot stone massage at the end of January.
The obsession only intensified during the Olympics. Now, I'm 27 years old and I've really never given any thought to a wedding. I know a lot of girls have dream weddings and dresses and cakes and beach settings and whatnot picked out from puberty on, but since relationships and romance have always been such low priorities of mine that they never even made the "To do" list of my life, I always figured that if I were to find myself in a situation in which I were to get hitched, I'd just elope. Who the fuck wants to plan a wedding? And the cost! Holy shit, I could never justify even a 1/4 of some of the expenses I hear about from friends. Guess it's the lack of a romantic within my soul.
The Vancouver Closing Ceremonies changed all that.
While I watched the final number with its big band performance and Andrews Sisters-esque backup singers and its Mounties and old school hockey players brawling and the lumberjacks and OH MY GOD THE GIANT INFLATABLE BEAVERS, I had the epiphany of all epiphanies: I need to marry a Canadian so I can be escorted by Mounties while I ride a moose down the aisle to meet my hockey player fiance. And I need ring beavers. And my dress will have little maple leafs embroidered along the hem and bustline. And I will have a cake with maple butter frosting because I have always been obsessed with maple sugar. Oh my god, I want this in the worst way ever.
So I've got Comedy Central on in the background, and a standup comedian I've never heard of came on. He was performing a rap which I found only vaguely amusing (I'll be honest, it hit close to home-- "I work in customer service, have a cat and a bad back." Mmmmm, not always funny if it's true). But he had my attention anyway because he had longish hair and lots of facial scruff and he wore a plaid flannel shirt. Apparently this is my type, because I was riveted. "I bet he's Canadian," I thought to myself. Then I noticed his name was Jon Lajoie, and I giggled to myself and thought about how fun it would be if he was from Montreal. So I looked him up. Found out he is indeed from Montreal. Third kid in a family of 9 (long time readers are familiar with my unhealthy manias about 3 and 9 since everything in my life comes down to those two numbers. I'm insanely superstitious [redundant much?] about 3 and 9). Man, these are the lamest reasons ever to develop a spontaneous crush on someone who does musical comedy (which isn't something I particularly enjoy, to be honest). And yet I'm all stupid over this guy and hoping against hope he'll do some self-depreciating hoser humor.
I'm in love. And since he's a comedian, I'm sure he'd be down with the moose and the ring beavers.
Man. I need to get out more. Anyone know any long-haired, scruffy, hockey-loving Canucks in the Lehigh Valley area?
The obsession only intensified during the Olympics. Now, I'm 27 years old and I've really never given any thought to a wedding. I know a lot of girls have dream weddings and dresses and cakes and beach settings and whatnot picked out from puberty on, but since relationships and romance have always been such low priorities of mine that they never even made the "To do" list of my life, I always figured that if I were to find myself in a situation in which I were to get hitched, I'd just elope. Who the fuck wants to plan a wedding? And the cost! Holy shit, I could never justify even a 1/4 of some of the expenses I hear about from friends. Guess it's the lack of a romantic within my soul.
The Vancouver Closing Ceremonies changed all that.
While I watched the final number with its big band performance and Andrews Sisters-esque backup singers and its Mounties and old school hockey players brawling and the lumberjacks and OH MY GOD THE GIANT INFLATABLE BEAVERS, I had the epiphany of all epiphanies: I need to marry a Canadian so I can be escorted by Mounties while I ride a moose down the aisle to meet my hockey player fiance. And I need ring beavers. And my dress will have little maple leafs embroidered along the hem and bustline. And I will have a cake with maple butter frosting because I have always been obsessed with maple sugar. Oh my god, I want this in the worst way ever.
So I've got Comedy Central on in the background, and a standup comedian I've never heard of came on. He was performing a rap which I found only vaguely amusing (I'll be honest, it hit close to home-- "I work in customer service, have a cat and a bad back." Mmmmm, not always funny if it's true). But he had my attention anyway because he had longish hair and lots of facial scruff and he wore a plaid flannel shirt. Apparently this is my type, because I was riveted. "I bet he's Canadian," I thought to myself. Then I noticed his name was Jon Lajoie, and I giggled to myself and thought about how fun it would be if he was from Montreal. So I looked him up. Found out he is indeed from Montreal. Third kid in a family of 9 (long time readers are familiar with my unhealthy manias about 3 and 9 since everything in my life comes down to those two numbers. I'm insanely superstitious [redundant much?] about 3 and 9). Man, these are the lamest reasons ever to develop a spontaneous crush on someone who does musical comedy (which isn't something I particularly enjoy, to be honest). And yet I'm all stupid over this guy and hoping against hope he'll do some self-depreciating hoser humor.
I'm in love. And since he's a comedian, I'm sure he'd be down with the moose and the ring beavers.
Man. I need to get out more. Anyone know any long-haired, scruffy, hockey-loving Canucks in the Lehigh Valley area?