so confused...

[surfrbabe86]

wow...im in love with Josh. i never thought u cud fall out of "love" so fast. when i say "i love u" to kris its more of as friends and we both kno its not true love. i truly love Josh. ive liked him for a llooooooooooooongggg time. since like 6th grade! then in 7th grade he started going out with my best friend. it kinda pissed me off but i didnt let any1 kno bc no1 knew that i liked him at all and i thought that he was in love with taraand i just wouldnt do that to my best friend. well then i wud always stay @ tara's and josh would always stay @ matt's house since it was closer to tara and we all would sneak out bout every night and i ended up falling for matt and i liked him a lot but no where as near as much as i liked josh. me n matt were "together" for a LONG time n then matt ended up forgetting his cell @ josh's house one night. josh called me and was like hey its josh n i was confused and i was like well i kno its josh i just dont kno y josh is calling me and then we ended up talking for hours and hours and hours that night and he told me that he really really likes me and he has for a long time and he only went out with tara to get to me and thats when i fell in love with him. we ended up jus pretty much tellin eachother the truth from when it all started 2 years ago and we really fucked up. then josh was telling me a lot of thing about matt that i never knew and i didnt like what he was telling me and at 1st i was starting to doubt it but i realized that josh would never lie to me, especially about matt. i hated what he was telling me and i had tried for days to talk to matt and tell him what i knew and that i dont love him but i love his best friend. they've been friends for like 8 or 9 years. that really sux. when i finally got a hold of matt after over a week he said that he had put a tape recorder in josh's room to see who he was using his phone to call and wen he listened to it he heard n josh talkin about everything thats gone on in the past and heard josh sayin that he wants to b with me and that he loves me..blah blah blah and for the 1st time ever matt swung on josh. they've never seriously fought before only just playin. all hell broke lose and later that night josh ended up tellin matt everything and matt was crushed but he wasnt showin it to josh but i could tell just by his voice. i mean i feel bad n all cuz it is his bf and we were together for a long time and he found out like the worst way other than walkin in on us or sumthin. but now matt knows so i guess its good and im so in love with josh its just so amazing! ..yah i kno, im still goin out with kris...but theres roumers that i made out with steve-o sat. night wen we were all chillen @ the arena and i would never kiss steve-o. NEVER! i dont think kris and i r guna b together much longer bc i dont think he believes me that i didnt do anything with steve-o but i really dont care amymore. if he doesnt believe me then hes not worth it and we r better off as friends so fuck it. i hate high school bull shit!

StEpH--ily! thanks for everything, ur an awesome friend! gotta do more saturday nights!! <3

xoxoxoxox
...::MUAH::...
x3 Brittany

I LOVE JOSH. true love.
not bullshit "i luv u, i lov u2" , but "i love you, i love you too" its amazing...