It's been awhile, hasn't it?
Life is changing, and I'm not sure what to think! Growing up is scary, yet inevitable. I've built up so many fantasies and set so many goals for where I wanted to be in life by this time, and it seems like I've missed the mark. Were my goals set too high, did I get lazy, or am I just afraid to take the next step? There are no longer any good excuses for being a child, the time to grow up is now. When you're looking ahead to this time, you see time to make changes, to grow up. Yet time has evaded me so quickly and suddenly the time to be who I've meant to be is thrust in front of me. There's no turning back, you can only go forward from here. Of course I do not want to become an adult overnight, I won't become an adult overnight, it comes gradually yet quickly. Yet the time to take the steps towards adulthood is upon me, and honestly, I'm afraid! I don't know what the future holds, but do any of us? No, only God knows what will become of any of this nonsense.
I hope I haven't completely confused or scared anybody. I have that tendency to let my brain run away with things and suddenly there's a whole paragraph in front of me with all these crazy ideas my mind has come up with.
Right now is a time of perservering, to be content simply with surviving. And it's hard. I'm a perfectionist and I want Rome to built in a day, everyday, and these times are not the time for that. There is an appointed time for everything, and the present time is here to teach my family and myself how to live. Just to live, eat, and breathe. And I'm learning to be ok with that.
