(no subject)
I am deppressed,tired, and happy all at once.
Depressed, b/c my mom is crying b/c of me, but she will do this all the time...it is just b/c I told her the truth and it upset her..although it isn't to difficult to upset my mother. I love her, but goodness she pisses me off at times.
Tired b/c I danced my ass off and ran around all dayu , and then tonight I had to go to the MCcallie vs Lakeview football game. Yeah my Daddy made me go..poo, but he just wants to spend time, so it is cool with me.
and Happy b/c last ngith made me so happy...so thank you all that gave me two days of happiness...I hope it lasts a little longer...
I have something very creepy to tell my close ones..so all of you...you know who you are..ask me about it...it is so weird, but really cool at the same time.
I saw Kevin at the game..wee..mwha..he took my chip...tear...ha!
Well I love you Alison and I am sorry about all the shit and that people dissappear and that you and your mom piss each other off, b/c I hate the feeling of making your mom sad and her making you sad too...I mean the way you feel...she should know, but everytime after I tell my mom the truth she cries..and then I want to hold her, but she doesn't want to be held by me..I don't help..I only hurt. I hope things lighten up love. I am going to give you a philosophy..maybe it might help.
My philosophy is that you can go to Heaven, but you can't go to hell...b/c we are already here. Most of us make our own hell..living on Earth is hell...I mean think about it...can you imagine a place worse than this? A place with more violece...saddness, and misfourtune? And those that arn't worthy to God...stay on Earth..as ghosts...and that is why a lot of ghosts...tamper with peoples emotions, b/c they are sad...b/c they can't leave the life they hated...b/c...who wants to stay here forever? I don't. I want to be eternely happy. I get scared when I doubt God...am I wrong to sometimes...I don't understand. I love him and speak to him and take the pressure off my shoulders and give all of them to him, but would that be selfish. I know that is what we are supposed to do...but I find it selfish, I find it unworthy, but if that is what is loyal, then so be it. Many aspects of my life are twisted, and sometimes I don't know what to think...at times I will get so much on my shoulders and I will get relly nervous..like when I got Winnie and school started and my parents were on me..and damn I was so so vervous..and still am ,but it was worse..anyways..when stuff like that happens..I will blow up over the smallest things. Like I was in French and I just got something mixed up and I almost started crying and I just wanted to like pick up my chair..desk..backpack..anything and just throw it. I was just so inraged..it made me go into hysterics, I don't know how I control it at times, but I did..and a lot of that goes to Lyssa, b/c she helped me. When I get really mad and feel that way, I usually end up balled in a ball crying my heart out...and just cry and cry and cry. I love you so much, I want things to go good for you...I dunno why I said all this, but it just felt..right..so I went with it. I hope you sleep well my darling. Sleep well.
-Chelsea
Depressed, b/c my mom is crying b/c of me, but she will do this all the time...it is just b/c I told her the truth and it upset her..although it isn't to difficult to upset my mother. I love her, but goodness she pisses me off at times.
Tired b/c I danced my ass off and ran around all dayu , and then tonight I had to go to the MCcallie vs Lakeview football game. Yeah my Daddy made me go..poo, but he just wants to spend time, so it is cool with me.
and Happy b/c last ngith made me so happy...so thank you all that gave me two days of happiness...I hope it lasts a little longer...
I have something very creepy to tell my close ones..so all of you...you know who you are..ask me about it...it is so weird, but really cool at the same time.
I saw Kevin at the game..wee..mwha..he took my chip...tear...ha!
Well I love you Alison and I am sorry about all the shit and that people dissappear and that you and your mom piss each other off, b/c I hate the feeling of making your mom sad and her making you sad too...I mean the way you feel...she should know, but everytime after I tell my mom the truth she cries..and then I want to hold her, but she doesn't want to be held by me..I don't help..I only hurt. I hope things lighten up love. I am going to give you a philosophy..maybe it might help.
My philosophy is that you can go to Heaven, but you can't go to hell...b/c we are already here. Most of us make our own hell..living on Earth is hell...I mean think about it...can you imagine a place worse than this? A place with more violece...saddness, and misfourtune? And those that arn't worthy to God...stay on Earth..as ghosts...and that is why a lot of ghosts...tamper with peoples emotions, b/c they are sad...b/c they can't leave the life they hated...b/c...who wants to stay here forever? I don't. I want to be eternely happy. I get scared when I doubt God...am I wrong to sometimes...I don't understand. I love him and speak to him and take the pressure off my shoulders and give all of them to him, but would that be selfish. I know that is what we are supposed to do...but I find it selfish, I find it unworthy, but if that is what is loyal, then so be it. Many aspects of my life are twisted, and sometimes I don't know what to think...at times I will get so much on my shoulders and I will get relly nervous..like when I got Winnie and school started and my parents were on me..and damn I was so so vervous..and still am ,but it was worse..anyways..when stuff like that happens..I will blow up over the smallest things. Like I was in French and I just got something mixed up and I almost started crying and I just wanted to like pick up my chair..desk..backpack..anything and just throw it. I was just so inraged..it made me go into hysterics, I don't know how I control it at times, but I did..and a lot of that goes to Lyssa, b/c she helped me. When I get really mad and feel that way, I usually end up balled in a ball crying my heart out...and just cry and cry and cry. I love you so much, I want things to go good for you...I dunno why I said all this, but it just felt..right..so I went with it. I hope you sleep well my darling. Sleep well.
-Chelsea