The unbearable result of saying hello to a stranger
This semester- I thought would be one of great growth and excitement and new adventure being that it is my first semester in college, my first time living in California, my first chance to finally break away from all that is old and start anew. Well, things started out wonderfully. I had about 90 friends that I talked to almost every day it was truly a dream come true for anyone suffering from a lack of popularity in high school or just anyone in general who needs people and has extreme need for social "unawkwardness?" Then theres something else I had. It was awesome too. It was truly amazing and I poured out so much into thinking it was going to be wortwhile. I guess I was wrong. Ha- thats practically the most ridiculous use of understatement ever marked. I was certainly and absolutely mistaken about everything that was going on. For in fact every single thing that was going well would turn into the worst downfall that continuously spiraled lingering my already frail from a beaten and battered high school journey on the verge of complete doom and total isolation set apart from anything and everything except for complete dissastisfaction and utter dissapointment.
Failure. I lost about more than 98% of the former 90 or so friends. My grades went into the pits. And the other thing- well thats already dissipated as quickly as the morning dew on a sunshine beaming day.
This experience at Southern California has brought me to various conclusions. One- most importantly that everything and anything that occurs in life is subject to complete and absolute change at any moment in time. That the closer you get to happiness the farther away you in turn retreat. That happiness is not a fish that you can catch. Two- that people who are close to you one second in life could be as distant as a thousand miles away or the distance of an enemy to a fellow fiend either way, nothing regarding people is ever trustworthy. It is proven in life that a man that's once your best friend, is soon to be your enemy. Third- that fraternities are ridiculous establishments that haze and muddle in drunken debauchery and other decorum destructive activities in order to dabble in happiness and closeness with one another amongst the male population. I realized that number one, two, and three all seem to be products from the journey of revelation I discovered concerning conclusion number three. Had it not been for me deciding to go to the row that one night in August, I would never have come across any of these situations and I might be a lot happier.
I wish Id never met you. thats all I have to say for today. The window is open, the blinds are halfway drawn, the moonlight beams down- except it fails to reach me in this distant sea of melancholy, no light whatsoever will guide this face, this mind, this body, this place. It slowly slips away into destiny. Destiny= death.
To find no place, is to find that your place is simply in the coexsistence of yourself with nothingness. You shall become as one with the earth and death shall be your dwelling place. For its better to become one with death than to be nothing in life.
I WISH INTRODUCTIONS NEVER TOOK PLACE. NONE SEEM TO BE WORTHY OF SALUTATION. I'D SAY GOODBYE BUT YOU ARE ALREADY GONE.
Whyd you even leave that memoir on my desk. I dont want it. It's not my favorite, its certainly ranking low in my mind now. The title is as ominous in its hyperbole as can be. You dont stand by me. In any way. I'm sick of seeing everything about how things used to be- because youre over within minutes. One phrase and it triggers your tick tocking MENSTRUAL emotional decision making clock. For gods sake it seems like you had a freakin period. One comment and you suddenly flip. Ha. talk about constant. talk about reliable. dont stand by me if youre going to step back at the faint sound of a comment. one single comment. thats all it takes. it must not have meant much to you.
I like drama. I think you do too. You sure do act well. All that training and all those musicals. Your words sounded musically sound enough for me to buy into your lies- your so-called "interest". Ive never met anyone who lived on a revolving stage. you sure do. One minute youre on the set of this life, then magically you appear upon the opposing set and you begin to play a different role. Theater is lies, your actions were lies. Both seem to draw a crowd. However this is one ticket Id certainly never pay for not even take if given option for free.
So this I coin the unbearable result of saying hello to a stranger. I said hello to you, and look what I got in return.
Failure. I lost about more than 98% of the former 90 or so friends. My grades went into the pits. And the other thing- well thats already dissipated as quickly as the morning dew on a sunshine beaming day.
This experience at Southern California has brought me to various conclusions. One- most importantly that everything and anything that occurs in life is subject to complete and absolute change at any moment in time. That the closer you get to happiness the farther away you in turn retreat. That happiness is not a fish that you can catch. Two- that people who are close to you one second in life could be as distant as a thousand miles away or the distance of an enemy to a fellow fiend either way, nothing regarding people is ever trustworthy. It is proven in life that a man that's once your best friend, is soon to be your enemy. Third- that fraternities are ridiculous establishments that haze and muddle in drunken debauchery and other decorum destructive activities in order to dabble in happiness and closeness with one another amongst the male population. I realized that number one, two, and three all seem to be products from the journey of revelation I discovered concerning conclusion number three. Had it not been for me deciding to go to the row that one night in August, I would never have come across any of these situations and I might be a lot happier.
I wish Id never met you. thats all I have to say for today. The window is open, the blinds are halfway drawn, the moonlight beams down- except it fails to reach me in this distant sea of melancholy, no light whatsoever will guide this face, this mind, this body, this place. It slowly slips away into destiny. Destiny= death.
To find no place, is to find that your place is simply in the coexsistence of yourself with nothingness. You shall become as one with the earth and death shall be your dwelling place. For its better to become one with death than to be nothing in life.
I WISH INTRODUCTIONS NEVER TOOK PLACE. NONE SEEM TO BE WORTHY OF SALUTATION. I'D SAY GOODBYE BUT YOU ARE ALREADY GONE.
Whyd you even leave that memoir on my desk. I dont want it. It's not my favorite, its certainly ranking low in my mind now. The title is as ominous in its hyperbole as can be. You dont stand by me. In any way. I'm sick of seeing everything about how things used to be- because youre over within minutes. One phrase and it triggers your tick tocking MENSTRUAL emotional decision making clock. For gods sake it seems like you had a freakin period. One comment and you suddenly flip. Ha. talk about constant. talk about reliable. dont stand by me if youre going to step back at the faint sound of a comment. one single comment. thats all it takes. it must not have meant much to you.
I like drama. I think you do too. You sure do act well. All that training and all those musicals. Your words sounded musically sound enough for me to buy into your lies- your so-called "interest". Ive never met anyone who lived on a revolving stage. you sure do. One minute youre on the set of this life, then magically you appear upon the opposing set and you begin to play a different role. Theater is lies, your actions were lies. Both seem to draw a crowd. However this is one ticket Id certainly never pay for not even take if given option for free.
So this I coin the unbearable result of saying hello to a stranger. I said hello to you, and look what I got in return.