(no subject)
so i havent written in my journal for a while, huh? well, i thought things were going a little better between nikki and i, but after reading her journal entry today i guess things arent so great. do you ever get the feeling that no matter what you do or how you act, there's always going to be something wrong with it? anyway, nikki said that lately i've been "getting on her nerves more and more," among other things. she also says that i'm too negative all the time and that i should just "relax and have fun." she acts like its inevitable that i'm going to screw up or be a certain way....doesnt that kinda make her negative too? haha, but if i said that to her she'd just say whatever and act like its all on me. i'll admit though, i can be quite pessimistic and sarcastic...mostly sarcastic. i use sarcasm a lot of times to dismiss something that bothers me...its my way of dealing with it. usually i can do that and get over whatever it was in the next few minutes, but she takes that one sarcastic comment and blows it out of proportion. so when that happens, i get all "huffy puffy" as she puts it and nothing ever gets resolved. i will admit also, that if i could change the way i deal with the things that bother me, maybe this wouldnt happen...but you would think that she could understand and try to help me work on it instead of getting pissed everytime. who knows what will happen...i mean i am going to try and change the way i deal with the things that bother me, but that takes time and patience cause thats the way i've always dealt with things...its hard to change things like that when thats the way it been for so long. but for her, i'll change, even if it takes me forever...cause she's worth it, she truly is.