Life's a Bitch
Ok, so I have been having back problems for about three months now, and in the time range of two months, I have been to my docter 3 times. I cannot get any sleep, I have not had a goos nights sleep since I can't remember when. I am fine during the day , but the second I lay down and try to relax and get some rest, my back flares up and the pain is unbearable!!! I can't take it anymore. You guys see me cry very rarely.....Only Water polo people have seen me cry, and that was once when we lost a game that we went into overtime twice for and I felt like we lost because of me.. Last night I could not sleep and I was up crying, so I decided to just go out into the living room to watch TV. It was about 11:30 at night and my mom comes out and starts screaming AT me telling me that I need to suck it up and take it because she dosen't know what to do for me, shes literally screaming at me saying that I need to grow up and get some sleep, that If I don't get my back feeling better soon, I can't do any sports this year. I don't think I have ever cryed so much in my life, No, I know I have never cryed so much in my life. She is sitting there telling me to suck it up, she dosen't know how much pain I am in, How sick and Tired I am of not being able to sleep, She doesn't know how it feels to have your back be in so much pain and still be so FUCKING bored out of your mind because you can't go anywhere or do anything...I am so sick and tired of living in pain, I can't live like this anymore!!! I am not feeling sorry for myself, I just want to get rid of the pain!!!! I just want all the pain to go away!!!! My docter schedualed me a appointment for my physical therapyst, he is going to try and figure out what is going on with my back. My other docter perscribed me Ibprofen and Vicodin, and that is what I have to live off of until I can see my physical therapist on the 2 of sepetember. I don't think I can wait that long....My life is slowly crumbling, leaving behind heartache and pain for me. My mom is being a bitch, I burned my hand taking dinner out of the oven yesterady, The day before that I was sitting at the computer and when I went to get up, I got caught on it and fell over backwards in the cahin, now I have bruises on the back of my calves....On my Birthday all my parents and grandparents could do was yerll at each other and all I got for my Birthday was money, and yeah thats cool, but whats the fun in opening the cards? So my life is Faliing apart right in front of my eyes, and I can't do anything to change it, I think I am having a breakdown!!! I Cry for hours everyday, and the worst part is, there is nothing I can do about it!!! All I can do is take my medicine, If my back doesn't get better soon, I won't be able to play polo, and water polo is my life right now, I don't think I could live without it, I don't know what to do!!! HELP!!!! P.S. My mom apologized this morning, and I know she means it, but shes needs to think about how I feel