(no subject)
obsessed yet again.
One of these days I will have to be the light and not the moth.
I find someone - I see their amazingness - and then I want to be them. I want to write poetry, paint pictures, play instruments, make a statement, and on and on. I love them, and then I feel inadequate not being them. That's lame. I should probably take a hint and realize those are not the people I should be around. (here comes the rant...)Yeah...you fluff my feathers and then you cut me down. You say you always get what you want, and if not, it's b/c you didn't want it in the first place. For me, well, sometimes I want things that aren't good for me. So, maybe you just aren't good for me. Or, maybe I just didn't want you in the first place. Man..your saying sounds so individualistic...but really it could just be fatalistic. You let fate decide if you really wanted it. So, really...you don't know what you want either.
Aih! Your sayings are so strong...no...it's that when you say it...you believe it so strongly. You project that you are in control of everything. You have always made it everything happen for yourself...that is what you tell me. You don't use others for support...that is what you tell me. You have no loyalties...that is what you tell me. But...you're just as fatalistic as I am. (my god...i sound like ranging, heart broken, teenage alternative/punk rock song- hahaha.)
So, now I see. You tell me this to push me away. Ok. What you tell me are lies. You are trying to protect yourself. Maybe you are trying to protect me.
So, the question is...do I pursue you and break down your wall? Or, are you something I never wanted in the first place? Right now I think I'm in the second camp. I can't take your acerbic ways. I'm too sensitive for that - and my heart is too open to you to handle any minor lashing. But, maybe this will fluel me? Maybe I will make myself a bad-ass activist and then you would be the one wanting to be with me. What petty games! - "Let's see who has the bigger guns now?"
I am who I am, and that is that. I'm just too lazy to by me sometimes.
One of these days I will have to be the light and not the moth.
I find someone - I see their amazingness - and then I want to be them. I want to write poetry, paint pictures, play instruments, make a statement, and on and on. I love them, and then I feel inadequate not being them. That's lame. I should probably take a hint and realize those are not the people I should be around. (here comes the rant...)Yeah...you fluff my feathers and then you cut me down. You say you always get what you want, and if not, it's b/c you didn't want it in the first place. For me, well, sometimes I want things that aren't good for me. So, maybe you just aren't good for me. Or, maybe I just didn't want you in the first place. Man..your saying sounds so individualistic...but really it could just be fatalistic. You let fate decide if you really wanted it. So, really...you don't know what you want either.
Aih! Your sayings are so strong...no...it's that when you say it...you believe it so strongly. You project that you are in control of everything. You have always made it everything happen for yourself...that is what you tell me. You don't use others for support...that is what you tell me. You have no loyalties...that is what you tell me. But...you're just as fatalistic as I am. (my god...i sound like ranging, heart broken, teenage alternative/punk rock song- hahaha.)
So, now I see. You tell me this to push me away. Ok. What you tell me are lies. You are trying to protect yourself. Maybe you are trying to protect me.
So, the question is...do I pursue you and break down your wall? Or, are you something I never wanted in the first place? Right now I think I'm in the second camp. I can't take your acerbic ways. I'm too sensitive for that - and my heart is too open to you to handle any minor lashing. But, maybe this will fluel me? Maybe I will make myself a bad-ass activist and then you would be the one wanting to be with me. What petty games! - "Let's see who has the bigger guns now?"
I am who I am, and that is that. I'm just too lazy to by me sometimes.