[fst] journey man
Axel, Roxas
Journey Man
An AkuRoku Remix
(Now with timeline added!)
(also, it goes without saying that there are SPOILERS abounding.)
Background
AxelFeatured prominently in both CoM and KH2, he was the first Unknown to have been unveiled (Roxas was the first to be revealed, but he was, unfortunately, hidden underneath a damn hood most of the time. So he's shy.) in gaming magazines. Axel's always been somewhat of a puzzling enigma, especially concerning his motivations in CoM, where he virtually annilated almost all the Organization members stationed in Castle Oblivion, for reasons which were never clearly explained (then again, much of CoM's story was never explained, even in KH2, soooo...)
In KH2, his character is given another facet, much to many, many fans' immense delight (and long, loud calls of "GAY GAY GAY" that probably won't fade for many gaming years to come). He is seemingly obsessed with Roxas, the newest member of the XIII Organization, going to great lengths to try and get the younger boy to remember who he was. His purpose in CoM is perhaps made a little clearer, he doesn't want to lose Roxas to this boy, this Keyblade Master.
Axel's direction in the game is nothing short of confusing, most of his actions contradict each other and his own personality (such as attacking Roxas, kidnapping Kairi, and so on and so forth), but it's pretty clear what he's being motivated by, and that is getting Roxas to acknowledge him for just one last time.
RoxasRoxas, if anything, was even more of an enigma. We never really know what is his true personality, because he gets tossed and turned around so much in the game that sometimes it seemed as though he was suffering from schizophrenia. What we do know is that he's Sora's counterpart, Sora's shadow, and he is ultimately doomed to that role, never to be himself.
In the small snippet of The World That Never Was, the Roxas we meet is someone who's apathetic and more concerned about finding his own memories than seeing what is in front of him. He never notices Axel's concern for him, brushing it off like a duck and water.
When he meets Axel again, in Twilight Town, Roxas is one confused little puppy who's really frustrated and angry, and Axel never gets his second chance.
The RelationshipThis FST was made along the lines of Axel's voice, from Axel's POV, because for the life of me I cannot find songs for Roxas' POV about the relationship, because I'm not sure where Roxas stands, and whether, at all, Roxas had indeed recipocated Axel's feelings for him.
So this FST is really more of a journey for Axel, walking along the road to Kingdom Hearts with the ghost of the bestest best friend he ever had living in his head, and who would never leave.
The Journey Man.
The World That Never Was
01. Straylight Run - The Tension and the Terror
[download]
all the boys voices cracking
oh, the moaning half tones
come summertime, we're all the same age here
all the tension and the terror
thin limbed gorgeous green eyes smiling
and i'm going straight to hell
all the possibility and promise just weighs on me so heavily
and i try but i'm not convincing
your lips, they pout and twist
and i die trying just to keep myself from kissing you.
you take in everything with a certainty i envy
it's somehow all i need
just keep me guessing please
darling, all of these awkwardjumpstartstalling conversations
mean much more to me than anything
it comes down to me and you
and whether we're supposed to or not, we still will
we're so much better off than them
all the possibility and promise just weighs on me so heavily...
a look
a laugh
a smile
a second passes by and i regret it
words just aren't right
sometimes i just can't explain
all the ways you devastate me
always on my mind
I had to post the lyrics in all its entirety because there is absolutely no way I can take one bit out of all that. This is pre-KH2 Axel talking to Roxas and to himself. Of course, this also alludes to events that happen in KH2 itself. I liked the over-confident and yet questioning tone that Straylight Run manages to convey in this song which is so much like Axel.
02. Coco D'or - It's Only a Paper Moon
[download]
Say it's only a paper moon
Sailing over a cardboard sea
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in me
A lot of people might disagree with me on this song choice, but I like how ironic the lyrics are along with the actual song. Plus, I like to think that Axel mocks Xemnas' idealistic plans of getting them hearts as a sham, but firmly believes that somehow, he and Roxas can get their hearts back, but not on the same road that Xemnas is taking.
03. Icehouse - Electric Blue
[download]
If a boy had a chance,
a chance with someone like you
Are you gonna break his heart,
let him cry for the moon
Are you hiding somewhere
behind those eyes?
Axel iPod song! Well, not really, but like Paper Moon, it's somewhat bittersweet. I say that the irony factor for this song is lower than that of Paper Moon, although the mental image of Axel bopping his head to this while Roxas watches without him knowing it is quite amusing.
04. Vienna Teng - Gravity
[download]
Hey, love
I am a constant satellite
Of your blazing sun
My love
I obey your law of gravity
This is the fate you've carved on me
The law of gravity
This is the fate you've carved on me
Axel's existence, whether he likes it or not, does revolve around Roxas. He turns his back on the Order's goals and mission, on his own chance of getting a heart of his very own, all for Roxas. And he doesn't regret it one bit.
Leaving The World That Never Was
05. Abandoned Pools - The Remedy
[download]
Then you can be the remedy
And I can be the enemy
And he can go and live as nothing
Then you can be the wanna be
And I can be the remedy
And he can go to hell for all I care
The song lyrics describes perfectly how Axel's emotions keep jumping around himself, Roxas and Sora. It's a little crazy, it's a little desperate, and it's a lot, a lot of anger, of him being volatile and pissed off at the world for bringing Roxas to him, at Roxas for walking away, and at Sora for taking Roxas away.
06. Kings of Convenience - Leaning Against The Wall
[download]
You cross your arms,
and tell no lies,
a thousand thoughts run through my mind,
a thousand words that I don't need,
I never thought you could do this.
Your eyes are cold,
I know you'll tell me all.
Not to fall,
I lean against the wall.
I like how Kings dealt the song with a very quiet, almost melancholy feel with such angry lyrics. There is no screaming, no headbanging or threats of seeking revenge, but a calm but terribly, terribly angry and despairing acceptance of what is inevitable.
Twilight Town
07. Smile Empty Soul - With This Knife
[download]
i can't believe the way you took me down
i never saw the pain
coming in a million broken miles
like poison from my veins
with this knife i'll cut out the part of me
the part that cares for you
with this knife i'll cut out the heart of me
the heart that cares for you
Axel never expects that Roxas would have changed so much in Twilight Town, and when he fights Roxas in the basement he tries so hard to hate Roxas for who he's become, so it's easier to fight him, easier to bring him down.
08. Relient K - Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet
[download]
I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I'm getting at
you said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
I feel that this song refers to all the chances he gave to Roxas in Twilight town, chances for Roxas to come back to the Order and fight alongside him, but Roxas is as stubborn as a mule and even Axel has a breaking point, no matter if it is Roxas he's dealing with, after all.
09. Keane - Bend and Break
[download]
When you, when you forget your name
When old faces all look the same
Meet me in the morning when you wake up
Meet me in the morning then you'll wake up
If only I don't bend and break
I'll meet you on the other side
I'll meet you in the light
If only I don't suffocate
I'll meet you in the morning when you wake
"Roxas: Let's meet again in another life.
Axel: Silly. Just because you have another life..."
Still, at the end, when Roxas bests him, he realizes he can't hate Roxas. He just can't. All he can do is send Roxas away with a blessing, and hope that he gets a happier life as Sora. But just because Axel says that, doesn't mean that he doesn't want to give up another chance of meeting Roxas again. No matter how slim, he wants to see Roxas in his afterlife.
In-game: Kingdom Hearts
10. Armor for Sleep - Awkward Last Words
[download]
We're out of time and I can't breathe
I told you not to believe in me
'Cause all I do is put you far away from me
All I do is push you far away from me
Out of time and I can't breathe
I told you not to believe in me
'Cause all I do is push you far away from me
All I do is push you far away from me
I'm gonna make this work
I'm gonna change everything wrong with me
I'm gonna prove you wrong
when I meet you in another life
Over again
I'm coming back around again
Coming back over again
I'm coming back around again,
but now it's over
When Axel finally manages to put aside his jealously and his hatred for Sora, knowing that in order for Roxas to live on Sora must be alive too. He finally breaks rank with the Order and fights against Saix and alongside Sora, but it's really all far too little, far too late.
11. Poe - Fly Away
[download]
It makes sense that it should feel just this way
That you slowly fade and yet still remain
As if to say: everything matters in such an invisible way
As if to say: it's o.k.
Fly...away
I'm tempted to just put here, "Listen to the song," but that's because I'm running out of existential bullshit. This song is Axel's sending song, the words that he should have said to Roxas from the beginning when he started to lose him, and Axel finally, finally understands what it is like to have a heart.
I edited this track a little to take out the spoken bits at the very end because it wasn't...er, relevant to the FST. If anyone wants the full version of the song just holler.
12. Remember Maine - Forever Ended Today
[download]
Hey, it's me. it's good to hear your voice.
but it's been too long, it's been too long.
Since I've held you in my arms.
But the night is young and so is my heart when we walk together.
Well this is my one last chance to say
Goodbye to you. in the story light. ya.
so i'll take every second they give before we expire. ya.
whoa-oa.
we thought we'd last forever but all that faded away.
forever and forever ended today.
And there is no resolution for Axel. No more 'last chance' to see Roxas. Roxas doesn't even appear in the form of Sora, in the form of tears, and it's only Sora who hears his unsaid goodbye. But it's not a teary goodbye from Axel, it never was, and it never will be.
13. Vienna Teng's Gravity (Lake Version)
[download]
I couldn't decide which version of Gravity to put, but when I listened to the entire FST and put this at the end, I couldn't help but feel so sad by this re-make of Gravity, because it sounded like a reprise after Axel is gone.
Whole zip.
[download]
Comments are greatly appreciated. All links are YSI links, except for the last one. And in case you were wondering? Yes, the HTML-ing was craaaazy.
Journey Man
An AkuRoku Remix
(Now with timeline added!)
(also, it goes without saying that there are SPOILERS abounding.)
Background
AxelFeatured prominently in both CoM and KH2, he was the first Unknown to have been unveiled (Roxas was the first to be revealed, but he was, unfortunately, hidden underneath a damn hood most of the time. So he's shy.) in gaming magazines. Axel's always been somewhat of a puzzling enigma, especially concerning his motivations in CoM, where he virtually annilated almost all the Organization members stationed in Castle Oblivion, for reasons which were never clearly explained (then again, much of CoM's story was never explained, even in KH2, soooo...)
In KH2, his character is given another facet, much to many, many fans' immense delight (and long, loud calls of "GAY GAY GAY" that probably won't fade for many gaming years to come). He is seemingly obsessed with Roxas, the newest member of the XIII Organization, going to great lengths to try and get the younger boy to remember who he was. His purpose in CoM is perhaps made a little clearer, he doesn't want to lose Roxas to this boy, this Keyblade Master.
Axel's direction in the game is nothing short of confusing, most of his actions contradict each other and his own personality (such as attacking Roxas, kidnapping Kairi, and so on and so forth), but it's pretty clear what he's being motivated by, and that is getting Roxas to acknowledge him for just one last time.
RoxasRoxas, if anything, was even more of an enigma. We never really know what is his true personality, because he gets tossed and turned around so much in the game that sometimes it seemed as though he was suffering from schizophrenia. What we do know is that he's Sora's counterpart, Sora's shadow, and he is ultimately doomed to that role, never to be himself.
In the small snippet of The World That Never Was, the Roxas we meet is someone who's apathetic and more concerned about finding his own memories than seeing what is in front of him. He never notices Axel's concern for him, brushing it off like a duck and water.
When he meets Axel again, in Twilight Town, Roxas is one confused little puppy who's really frustrated and angry, and Axel never gets his second chance.
The RelationshipThis FST was made along the lines of Axel's voice, from Axel's POV, because for the life of me I cannot find songs for Roxas' POV about the relationship, because I'm not sure where Roxas stands, and whether, at all, Roxas had indeed recipocated Axel's feelings for him.
So this FST is really more of a journey for Axel, walking along the road to Kingdom Hearts with the ghost of the bestest best friend he ever had living in his head, and who would never leave.
The Journey Man.
The World That Never Was
01. Straylight Run - The Tension and the Terror
[download]
all the boys voices cracking
oh, the moaning half tones
come summertime, we're all the same age here
all the tension and the terror
thin limbed gorgeous green eyes smiling
and i'm going straight to hell
all the possibility and promise just weighs on me so heavily
and i try but i'm not convincing
your lips, they pout and twist
and i die trying just to keep myself from kissing you.
you take in everything with a certainty i envy
it's somehow all i need
just keep me guessing please
darling, all of these awkwardjumpstartstalling conversations
mean much more to me than anything
it comes down to me and you
and whether we're supposed to or not, we still will
we're so much better off than them
all the possibility and promise just weighs on me so heavily...
a look
a laugh
a smile
a second passes by and i regret it
words just aren't right
sometimes i just can't explain
all the ways you devastate me
always on my mind
I had to post the lyrics in all its entirety because there is absolutely no way I can take one bit out of all that. This is pre-KH2 Axel talking to Roxas and to himself. Of course, this also alludes to events that happen in KH2 itself. I liked the over-confident and yet questioning tone that Straylight Run manages to convey in this song which is so much like Axel.
02. Coco D'or - It's Only a Paper Moon
[download]
Say it's only a paper moon
Sailing over a cardboard sea
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in me
A lot of people might disagree with me on this song choice, but I like how ironic the lyrics are along with the actual song. Plus, I like to think that Axel mocks Xemnas' idealistic plans of getting them hearts as a sham, but firmly believes that somehow, he and Roxas can get their hearts back, but not on the same road that Xemnas is taking.
03. Icehouse - Electric Blue
[download]
If a boy had a chance,
a chance with someone like you
Are you gonna break his heart,
let him cry for the moon
Are you hiding somewhere
behind those eyes?
Axel iPod song! Well, not really, but like Paper Moon, it's somewhat bittersweet. I say that the irony factor for this song is lower than that of Paper Moon, although the mental image of Axel bopping his head to this while Roxas watches without him knowing it is quite amusing.
04. Vienna Teng - Gravity
[download]
Hey, love
I am a constant satellite
Of your blazing sun
My love
I obey your law of gravity
This is the fate you've carved on me
The law of gravity
This is the fate you've carved on me
Axel's existence, whether he likes it or not, does revolve around Roxas. He turns his back on the Order's goals and mission, on his own chance of getting a heart of his very own, all for Roxas. And he doesn't regret it one bit.
Leaving The World That Never Was
05. Abandoned Pools - The Remedy
[download]
Then you can be the remedy
And I can be the enemy
And he can go and live as nothing
Then you can be the wanna be
And I can be the remedy
And he can go to hell for all I care
The song lyrics describes perfectly how Axel's emotions keep jumping around himself, Roxas and Sora. It's a little crazy, it's a little desperate, and it's a lot, a lot of anger, of him being volatile and pissed off at the world for bringing Roxas to him, at Roxas for walking away, and at Sora for taking Roxas away.
06. Kings of Convenience - Leaning Against The Wall
[download]
You cross your arms,
and tell no lies,
a thousand thoughts run through my mind,
a thousand words that I don't need,
I never thought you could do this.
Your eyes are cold,
I know you'll tell me all.
Not to fall,
I lean against the wall.
I like how Kings dealt the song with a very quiet, almost melancholy feel with such angry lyrics. There is no screaming, no headbanging or threats of seeking revenge, but a calm but terribly, terribly angry and despairing acceptance of what is inevitable.
Twilight Town
07. Smile Empty Soul - With This Knife
[download]
i can't believe the way you took me down
i never saw the pain
coming in a million broken miles
like poison from my veins
with this knife i'll cut out the part of me
the part that cares for you
with this knife i'll cut out the heart of me
the heart that cares for you
Axel never expects that Roxas would have changed so much in Twilight Town, and when he fights Roxas in the basement he tries so hard to hate Roxas for who he's become, so it's easier to fight him, easier to bring him down.
08. Relient K - Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet
[download]
I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I'm getting at
you said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
I feel that this song refers to all the chances he gave to Roxas in Twilight town, chances for Roxas to come back to the Order and fight alongside him, but Roxas is as stubborn as a mule and even Axel has a breaking point, no matter if it is Roxas he's dealing with, after all.
09. Keane - Bend and Break
[download]
When you, when you forget your name
When old faces all look the same
Meet me in the morning when you wake up
Meet me in the morning then you'll wake up
If only I don't bend and break
I'll meet you on the other side
I'll meet you in the light
If only I don't suffocate
I'll meet you in the morning when you wake
"Roxas: Let's meet again in another life.
Axel: Silly. Just because you have another life..."
Still, at the end, when Roxas bests him, he realizes he can't hate Roxas. He just can't. All he can do is send Roxas away with a blessing, and hope that he gets a happier life as Sora. But just because Axel says that, doesn't mean that he doesn't want to give up another chance of meeting Roxas again. No matter how slim, he wants to see Roxas in his afterlife.
In-game: Kingdom Hearts
10. Armor for Sleep - Awkward Last Words
[download]
We're out of time and I can't breathe
I told you not to believe in me
'Cause all I do is put you far away from me
All I do is push you far away from me
Out of time and I can't breathe
I told you not to believe in me
'Cause all I do is push you far away from me
All I do is push you far away from me
I'm gonna make this work
I'm gonna change everything wrong with me
I'm gonna prove you wrong
when I meet you in another life
Over again
I'm coming back around again
Coming back over again
I'm coming back around again,
but now it's over
When Axel finally manages to put aside his jealously and his hatred for Sora, knowing that in order for Roxas to live on Sora must be alive too. He finally breaks rank with the Order and fights against Saix and alongside Sora, but it's really all far too little, far too late.
11. Poe - Fly Away
[download]
It makes sense that it should feel just this way
That you slowly fade and yet still remain
As if to say: everything matters in such an invisible way
As if to say: it's o.k.
Fly...away
I'm tempted to just put here, "Listen to the song," but that's because I'm running out of existential bullshit. This song is Axel's sending song, the words that he should have said to Roxas from the beginning when he started to lose him, and Axel finally, finally understands what it is like to have a heart.
I edited this track a little to take out the spoken bits at the very end because it wasn't...er, relevant to the FST. If anyone wants the full version of the song just holler.
12. Remember Maine - Forever Ended Today
[download]
Hey, it's me. it's good to hear your voice.
but it's been too long, it's been too long.
Since I've held you in my arms.
But the night is young and so is my heart when we walk together.
Well this is my one last chance to say
Goodbye to you. in the story light. ya.
so i'll take every second they give before we expire. ya.
whoa-oa.
we thought we'd last forever but all that faded away.
forever and forever ended today.
And there is no resolution for Axel. No more 'last chance' to see Roxas. Roxas doesn't even appear in the form of Sora, in the form of tears, and it's only Sora who hears his unsaid goodbye. But it's not a teary goodbye from Axel, it never was, and it never will be.
13. Vienna Teng's Gravity (Lake Version)
[download]
I couldn't decide which version of Gravity to put, but when I listened to the entire FST and put this at the end, I couldn't help but feel so sad by this re-make of Gravity, because it sounded like a reprise after Axel is gone.
Whole zip.
[download]
Comments are greatly appreciated. All links are YSI links, except for the last one. And in case you were wondering? Yes, the HTML-ing was craaaazy.