in brief
I'm currently reading "Einstein's Dreams," a novel that describes dozens of different versions of time and what life would be like in each universe. Right now, in this city, time is flying by faster than it ever did in Spain, even faster than at K, and I really wish it would slow down. I want to slow down. I'm exhausted, and my legs ache for some reason. So instead of going forward, I'm going to look backward at the past three weeks and try to make some sense of what I've done and where I've been. This is relaxation, of a sort.
I'll pick up where I left off: NYC Pride, which may have been the gayest weekend of my life. I went to a performance of the "Not-About-AIDS Dance" with my mentor and a couple of cool old women. It wasn't very good. Dance is supposed to be interesting, and if it's no longer interesting, isn't it just a group of people flailing around on a stage? Oh well. Afterwards I went to a going away party at James' house: Matt and Josh were leaving the city indefinitely. It was great to see everybody--even the drama queens. James, great host that he is, fed me pita bread, hummus, and vodka vodka vodka, so it wasn't long before I felt right at home. I made plans for the following day with Edward then headed home through Harlem in the rain, which sobered me up quite nicely. On Saturday afternoon, I went down to H&M and bought a pair of pants that actually fit and my first polo shirt. Edward approved, and for whatever reason, that meant a lot to me. I want to live up to his ridiculously high expectations for me because, although he demands about as much as my father, he doesn't give the impression that he will abandon me if I fail. Anyway, a big gay posse went out together for shopping and dining, followed by wining and partying, followed by bar-hopping and far too much jostling. The bars were packed on account of Pride, and it killed my mood. What's the attraction of bars, really? Why do people choose to go out to buy expensive drinks, yell over loud music, and bump into complete strangers when they could much more easily stay in an apartment, drink on the cheap, and hang out with good friends? I still don't get it. Well, the next day was the big parade, which I was supposed to march in but didn't because of the rain (a convenient excuse). Justin dragged me downtown along with his host, Todd, and together we watched scantily clad drag queens, gym bunnies, and corporate sponsors represent our community. It was fun... and just a bit disturbing. Todd took us back to his place for drinks, comics, City of Heroes, and Star Wars action figures photographed in compromising positions. I blame the alcohol. We ended up wandering around the West Village for a while, but people-watching got depressing when just about everybody in sight looked to be the type of gay person for whom they design 12-step programs. The next day, Justin invited me to hang out with him and his new host, Will, so together we made dinner and watched gay porn. I don't know why or how that happened, but the beer made it so I didn't question much. There was some mild frottage, followed by the movie "Saved." So yeah, that was my first NYC Pride: a strange combination of good and bad that was, undeniably, very very very gay.
My long-time good friend Brandon and his psuedo-girlfriend from London, Boo, came to stay with me for a few days. We went out to eat, drank some beers, shot the shit. Chewbacca came up naturally in conversation for the second time in a week, both times involving some form of kinky sex. Moving on. Together we went to see the Broadway musical "Avenue Q," and it was all that I'd hoped it would be and then some. I've known the soundtrack for years, but the story... Well, it's interesting. Then we went to the "Top of the Rock," Rockafeller Center, and took way too many pictures, the United Nations building, took way too many pictures, and Times Square, way too many pictures. I'm trying to get away from the touristy stuff and really dig into the city, but I don't think it's possible, at least not for me. I just can't help myself.
The day after Brandon and Boo left, Clif and Diana arrived. I can't remember such an emotionally, physically, mentally exhausting week in all my life. That's for another entry--I'm beat. Maybe tomorrow I'll find a way to slow time down, or (even better) find the Higgs boson in my mountain of data. My internship--and my time here--is slipping through my fingers... I just need to cross them tighter.