this is just some of the pain ... i know it hurts but i was hoping my tears wouldn't show it ... !!!
"Can't you see that you lie to yourself
You can't see the world through a mirror
It wont be too late when the smoke clears
'Cause I, I am still here"
yeah ... i really wish that she could see what she's doing ... not just to her self but to everyone around her ... everyone who's ever cared for her ... and there are so many of us ... but i know it's her life and it's up to her to make her own decisions and mistakes ... and from the looks of it she's doing a lot of it right now ... and just being able to sit here and watch her take down the whole building cuz she feels like it sucks ... cuz i can't (no won't) do anything to stop her ...
i just don't understand why she's doing what she is ... she doesn't need to ... she has awesome friends in my opinion ... though i might be a bit bias ... she doesn't need a boyfriend and if she wanted one she's got the pick of the lot right at her feet ... but she seems to want ... to urn for those things which tend to bring her down the most instead of embracing those who have continually embraced her for so long ... even if we’ve all gone unnoticed ...
i don't see how she can lie about the simplest things to the ones who are so dear to her ... i don't see how she can go out and make these decisions that hurt others so bad ... the wounds she inflicts upon everyone else are so much more severe than those she causes her self ... i just don't understand ...
but maybe that’s it ... maybe i'm (we're) not meant to understand ... i only wish that i could ... i want to so badly ... i want to help her but even the efforts we gave before she took this last plunge were only rejected ... she says she knows ... but she doesn't see ... i mean really see ... and if she does see what's really happening then she needs a lot more help than any of us can give her ...
i was at first so angry that she could blatantly lie to me over the phone ... it was such a simple thing ... but then i realized how disappointed i was in her ... and in myself ... how could i be such an awful friend that she would have to lie to me about something as trouble-free as a boy ... a boy of all things ... it's unbelievable that she can see the same scenario played out with a mutual friend of ours and be so disgusted by it but then turn around and do the same thing she herself has said is ridiculous ... it's beyond me what could possibly posses her to do such things ...but then a whole hell of a lot of things are beyond me
i can only pray that she finds it in herself to correct the misdirection in her life ... she got herself there ... she can get herself back ... but the thing is ... no matter how much she hurts us with the things she does or doesn't do ... we'll always be here for her in the end ... and i hope she takes the time to read this so she knows how much we care ... how much i care ... because as i sit here writing the things that pop into my head ... the tears in my eyes blur the computer screen ... it hurts so much to know that she can't just turn to those who love her as much as we do ... as much as i do for the help that she may not see she needs ... i want her to know that whenever she's ready we're here ... i'm here ... always ... anytime she needs me ... cuz no matter how deep she digs herself i'll still be here to help her out and fill the hole back up ...
You can't see the world through a mirror
It wont be too late when the smoke clears
'Cause I, I am still here"
yeah ... i really wish that she could see what she's doing ... not just to her self but to everyone around her ... everyone who's ever cared for her ... and there are so many of us ... but i know it's her life and it's up to her to make her own decisions and mistakes ... and from the looks of it she's doing a lot of it right now ... and just being able to sit here and watch her take down the whole building cuz she feels like it sucks ... cuz i can't (no won't) do anything to stop her ...
i just don't understand why she's doing what she is ... she doesn't need to ... she has awesome friends in my opinion ... though i might be a bit bias ... she doesn't need a boyfriend and if she wanted one she's got the pick of the lot right at her feet ... but she seems to want ... to urn for those things which tend to bring her down the most instead of embracing those who have continually embraced her for so long ... even if we’ve all gone unnoticed ...
i don't see how she can lie about the simplest things to the ones who are so dear to her ... i don't see how she can go out and make these decisions that hurt others so bad ... the wounds she inflicts upon everyone else are so much more severe than those she causes her self ... i just don't understand ...
but maybe that’s it ... maybe i'm (we're) not meant to understand ... i only wish that i could ... i want to so badly ... i want to help her but even the efforts we gave before she took this last plunge were only rejected ... she says she knows ... but she doesn't see ... i mean really see ... and if she does see what's really happening then she needs a lot more help than any of us can give her ...
i was at first so angry that she could blatantly lie to me over the phone ... it was such a simple thing ... but then i realized how disappointed i was in her ... and in myself ... how could i be such an awful friend that she would have to lie to me about something as trouble-free as a boy ... a boy of all things ... it's unbelievable that she can see the same scenario played out with a mutual friend of ours and be so disgusted by it but then turn around and do the same thing she herself has said is ridiculous ... it's beyond me what could possibly posses her to do such things ...but then a whole hell of a lot of things are beyond me
i can only pray that she finds it in herself to correct the misdirection in her life ... she got herself there ... she can get herself back ... but the thing is ... no matter how much she hurts us with the things she does or doesn't do ... we'll always be here for her in the end ... and i hope she takes the time to read this so she knows how much we care ... how much i care ... because as i sit here writing the things that pop into my head ... the tears in my eyes blur the computer screen ... it hurts so much to know that she can't just turn to those who love her as much as we do ... as much as i do for the help that she may not see she needs ... i want her to know that whenever she's ready we're here ... i'm here ... always ... anytime she needs me ... cuz no matter how deep she digs herself i'll still be here to help her out and fill the hole back up ...