Anxiety and progress
I exiled myself to my room with the dogs and Tommen. The other two cats are locked in the office. All the cats were locked in Tycho's room (or the room previously known as Alec's room) yesterday but Simi decided to be a dick and attack Tommen so he got put in our bedroom yesterday and I figured it would be easier to just seperate them today from the start to save Tommen from Simi's constant itch to do something which occasionally manifests in cat-attacks. Alarah is immune to Simi's pounces and kicks him in the head right back.
Yesterday I hung out with the flooring guy watching him work and definitely slowed him down. There was a learning curve in how to put the floor together and I was somewhat helpful in looking things up online. Yesterday he didn't have any helpers but today he's got the two young guys he brought on Monday. He put them to work right away pulling up the carpet on the stairs and pulling the old pergo out of Tycho's room. Now everything in our house is crammed into the office, master bedroom, and the little carpeted spot in the living room. (incluing us living things)
I want to go down and check out the progress but I know I should just sit tight. They've only been working for just over two hours. So I'm making lists of things Tycho needs still.
Having the house in disarray is amping up my anxiety about things not being ready for Tycho. Paul is keeping a cool head about it while my eye twitches and I feel panicky. The flooring guy said that he doesn't expect the carpet to arrive until Tuesday. On the outside I'm like "Ok" and on the inside I'm like "I'll be 37 weeks on Tuesday with the green light from the midwives to go into labor any time and there will be no floors installed upstairs?!"
Meanwhile I'm trying unsucessfully to be productive and finding myself exhausted and out of breath so easily. I feel guilty and useless. Yesterday Paul fixed the fencing between pastures 3 and 4, spread compost and lime in pasture 3, cut back overgrowth that was touching the fencing, and did the normal chores of mucking and feeding. I came out in the evening and improved Dootz's trim from the other day, trimmed Seven, and treated them both for thrush. I was going to do more but I was sweaty, exhausted, light headed, and needed to lay down so I quit and went back inside. Paul says this is fine and I'm not useless.
I'm frustrated that early in the pregnancy when I was like "I need to stay active and fit" and I was capable of doing more everyone was telling me to just sit and rest. Now I don't have a choice and it sucks. When I was freaking out three months ago about getting this house ready for the baby I shouldn't have just listened to the "oh, it's fine, you don't need to do anything" - I should've listened to those promptings and gotten some things done. The easy painting could be done, the de-cluttering could be done, and I could really be resting now instead of worring about it all at the 11th hour (9th hour?).
Paul is out in the rain doing more work on clearing off the fence-line, also trying to stay out of the flooring guys' way. We have a midwife appointment this afternoon. They're going to pull out the ultrasound to see what position Tycho is in. It's been hard to tell by feeling around. He knocks me up in the ribs and down in the pelvis simultaneously and when the midwives have checked me out they aren't certain if they're feeling butt and knees or head and fists as they poke around on my belly. I'm worried he'll be born with his hands by his face, making his delivery unnecessarily more difficult.
The new flooring is freaking gorgeous. I didn't take a photo after work was finished yesterday because stacks of unlaid floor was piled over the most beautiful of spots and he laid moving blankets over the edges to protect them. I'm so glad this is being professionally done because this guy is laying this floor like art while I would not have the patience for that. Since there are all these little pieces and we have 3 downstairs bay windows he's having to really puzzle slivers together at the walls and corners - gently tapping it all together. It was amazing to watch him work yesterday with the level of artistry and care he put into it. Definitely worth the money for the professional job.
Today he said that he'd try to make faster progress, doing the body of the flooring and leaving the piecework at the walls which can wait for later. I'm dissapointed that the downstairs will likely not be finished this week and we'll be walking on subfloor upstairs for approximately a entire week but it's getting done and that's just part of the whole flooring adventure.
I feel calmer now, just from typing this out. I apologize for the typos that I know my entires are full of. I try to type as fast as I'm thinking and it can turn into a mess.