(no subject)
i;m so tired of this. sick and tired. mum keeps telling me i'm rebelling against whatever any one of my teachers says because i hate school so much, but really, i'm not.
i just can't handle myself. i can't turn off the natural flow of things in my head and i can't stem any of what's going on. being creative is like my anorexia. it's my way of controlling something that's so out of my hands. mum wouldn't understand, she's so differant from me in that way. not one of my friends (cept maybe kristen) understands either. i feel so alone and lost. it's horrible.
sometimes i just want it to either all go away and get to college already or fucking die.
but that's impossible- i'd never kill myself. there's so much to do after high school. if i graduate. or so i'm told.
<3 cordy
i just can't handle myself. i can't turn off the natural flow of things in my head and i can't stem any of what's going on. being creative is like my anorexia. it's my way of controlling something that's so out of my hands. mum wouldn't understand, she's so differant from me in that way. not one of my friends (cept maybe kristen) understands either. i feel so alone and lost. it's horrible.
sometimes i just want it to either all go away and get to college already or fucking die.
but that's impossible- i'd never kill myself. there's so much to do after high school. if i graduate. or so i'm told.
<3 cordy