(no subject)
I know this will come off as being pretty wishy washy and im not really expetcing any comments-but this seems as good a place as any to write down what im thinking at the moment.
Though i have to admit that the last two years or so have been pretty trying-mainly outside of school but also related-i can honestly say that i did the best that i could whilst going through them-i have no regrets, and that realisation has made me all the more happy to be where i am in life. Everything is so much clearer-now i realise that i dont need to feel intimidated by the world around me-if i dont understand something i shouldt assume that just because i dont know whats going on it doesnt mean that i am automatically wrong about it. Even in my naivety, no one should think badly of me, and if they would, then so what? I really dont care anymore-i guarantee you that i have my own positive attributes, and worrying about how other perceive me is such a waste of time.
For those of you that have already blossomed into this understanding then thats excellent, i suppose it just took a little longer for me to get the first taste of what life is actually like- sometimes i am not grateful for my sheltered upbringing, yet it has made these years, and the many decades(hopefully) that follow, all the more satisfying. (Ok so if in the next few years i manage to screw over my prospects and end up crying on your shoulder-ill thank you not to mention my arrogance!)
So i am so looking forward to coming home-i want to see all the people that i love and i have every intention of being on the cuttiing edge of doing absolutely fuck all. I want to make fun of customers and gossip about cute boys and generally piss about. I want to go see my favourite bands and spend time with the new (formula one obsessed) me that ive grown to quite like. I want to spend time in actual sun (hoorah!) and revel in my difference when people ask me where im from. Oh joy-you better be available or i munna come and rape you -laaaaaaacy
Though i have to admit that the last two years or so have been pretty trying-mainly outside of school but also related-i can honestly say that i did the best that i could whilst going through them-i have no regrets, and that realisation has made me all the more happy to be where i am in life. Everything is so much clearer-now i realise that i dont need to feel intimidated by the world around me-if i dont understand something i shouldt assume that just because i dont know whats going on it doesnt mean that i am automatically wrong about it. Even in my naivety, no one should think badly of me, and if they would, then so what? I really dont care anymore-i guarantee you that i have my own positive attributes, and worrying about how other perceive me is such a waste of time.
For those of you that have already blossomed into this understanding then thats excellent, i suppose it just took a little longer for me to get the first taste of what life is actually like- sometimes i am not grateful for my sheltered upbringing, yet it has made these years, and the many decades(hopefully) that follow, all the more satisfying. (Ok so if in the next few years i manage to screw over my prospects and end up crying on your shoulder-ill thank you not to mention my arrogance!)
So i am so looking forward to coming home-i want to see all the people that i love and i have every intention of being on the cuttiing edge of doing absolutely fuck all. I want to make fun of customers and gossip about cute boys and generally piss about. I want to go see my favourite bands and spend time with the new (formula one obsessed) me that ive grown to quite like. I want to spend time in actual sun (hoorah!) and revel in my difference when people ask me where im from. Oh joy-you better be available or i munna come and rape you -laaaaaaacy