You cannot sedate all the things you hate.....
This is a first for me: A rare public post. With the way things have been going as of late and the childishness of it all, I felt this was necessary.
Let it be known here and now though: I don't care who I out in this post. I don't care whose spot I blow up. This post is public for a reason. And let it also be known that this is MY journal and essentially MY forum; I will express my opinions and my feelings and you will NOT try to sensor me. You don't like it? Then damn you. And I don't need you in my life anyway. That being said, let me get on with it.
Draco and Perseus.... these sad two. Or should I call them Lindsay and Cathy? There is so much I have to say on the matter but I'd like to keep it as short as possible, for I don't believe they deserve the devotion of THAT much of my precious time. And believe me, my time IS precious, especially when time is money. Every moment I spend on the two of them, is a moment I spend not making money. But that's neither here nor there. I would like to address some recent events having to do with the costumed wonders..... and my aunt.
Yes, my aunt.
Lisa, I am sure you're searching for something. For most of your adult life, you seemed to be searching for something you've yet to find. Whatever "it" is, please know that the answer does not lie in these two.
I hate to do this in a public post, but it must be done. You've unfriended me everywhere possible and hold the costumed wonders in higher regard than you do your own family. What I'm going to say HAS to be said and if a public post in my livejournal is how it has to be done, so be it.
It's hard to be around you when you're all doom and gloom. When you're constantly capping on me for being the anti-Lisa and when I can't have an adult conversation with you. And it's especially difficult that I had to censor you from everything having to do with Wanda because in your mind, you're the good godmother and she's evil.
You know why she was "evil" to me for 6 years? Because I was a snotty, obnoxious, RUDE, self-centered, twatbag to her. She did and she did and she did for me and I came to a point in my life where I just started to be horrible to her. She didn't deserve that; I deserved to get the cold shoulder. It hurt, sure, but I'm not gonna lie when I say I'm glad she did it. Not only did it teach me to come into my own, but it also taught me what I needed to change in myself. It was what I needed to get my life in order. That doesn't make her evil. That's her doing what she knew was the best she could for me at that point and time. I will defend her and those actions till the death. You know why? Because in high school, when Dad was repeatedly coming after me and trying to kill me and EVERYONE else stood idly by and did nothing about it, Wanda stepped in. Wanda and Uncle David did everything in their power to keep me safe and out of his way. When I was told college probably would never be an option for me it was Wanda who encouraged me to fill out applications. Who offered to take me to see colleges... and who helped me fill out said applications. And who gave me a very good recommendation at my college of choice which I am just NOW finally getting to attend. When life was crazy and tumultuous at home (on a good day), they were my sanity. I know you hate that, but it's the God's honest truth. And anyone who could get me to believe again, get me back to church again (and enjoy myself), get me to listen to the gospels and the homilies and learn how to apply their meanings to my every day life deserves all the gratitude I have in me.
You told me your priest said you should be friends with Draco and Perseus again even after all the hurt they caused you. I don't believe that. You told me you were quite candid with your priest about everything that happened. I don't believe that either. I do believe, however, that he told you to make peace with what happened and to forgive them WITHIN YOURSELF so that you could move on with your life. By no means was he trying to say you three needed to run off and be BFF's.
You alienated your friends. Friends who stuck by you when these two destroyed your life. Friends who, truth be told, would probably still do anything for you if you found yourself in a real emergency. You alienated your family. Oh no, it's not just me dear. Everyone else is just much more willing to put up with your insanity. Ask my mom what her thoughts are on the topic. How about John Michael? I know his thoughts, but why don't you ask him? He thinks you're destroying your life. Ask your sister, though I know you really couldn't care less about her opinion. Ask your MOM. We're all worried because we can see this situation for what it is... and for everything that you can't see. You're gonna go up there and get bled dry, and really, have nobody left at home... and you don't seem to care. As far as I can tell, as long as you have them in your life, you're complete and nothing else matters.
You know first hand what a horrible individual Draco can be. Come on, really. You change your name to that of a fictional character and that's supposed to be some sort of pinnacle of mental stability? You HAVE to be kidding me. I've learned through people that Perseus used to be some semblance of normal before Draco's arrival.... but it went all down hill after that. As usual, everything Draco touches turns to shit.
You are giving up a hell of a lot to move up there with them and you don't even know it. But if you want to spend your life playing make believe, then so be it. Whatever blows your skirt up.
Now, as for Draco and Perseus or anyone else who may try to respond to this in defense of the Costumed Wonders telling me I am merely jealous, let it be known that I am not.
To be jealous of someone means they have something I do not. That I envy something about them. I envy nothing about these two. They live in a fantasy world based on Harry Potter. God forbid at 40 and 45 respectively, they should act like adults. Have real jobs. Not spend their existence in costumes.
I do not begrudge anyone who is a part of any fandom... as long as you remember who you are when you leave. I love Rocky Horror. I will be going to the convention in Atlantic City next month and I will most likely be dressed as Magenta. However when I leave that convention, I am Heather. When I am not in that costume, I am Heather. HEATHER is who I am. Magenta is merely a part of me.
I have been through a lot in my life. I have worked HARD to be where I am and I will continue to work hard all the way through law school. Nobody else is doing for me and why should I expect them to. I do not take hand outs and I hate asking for help. Rather than taking and taking and taking, like the Costumed Wonders (who see themselves as Godlike and feel the need to capitalize any and all pronouns), I give and give and give... Usually until I bleed MYSELF dry trying to help and do for those most important to me.
I am not a celebrity, but I am not unknown. I am well known and well liked in all my fields. I have done things that have made a difference in this world. I have helped to raise 4 beautiful children who I see so much of myself in. And as I continue to watch them grow and change and come into their own, I am consumed with pride. In them, I can see so much of the good I've done in my short 25 years. I am in law school and destined for great things. I will not settle for mediocrity. It's not an option.
I am happy. There is nothing that will ever in this world make me jealous or envious of these two, so don't you dare get it twisted. I'm just sick and tired of reading about all these people who think they're so fantastic and so giving and wonderful, when really, they don't even know the HALF of it.
And I'm done. 45 minutes spent writing this in my office is 45 minutes way too long. I've said my peace and I wash my hands of the entire situation.
Let it be known here and now though: I don't care who I out in this post. I don't care whose spot I blow up. This post is public for a reason. And let it also be known that this is MY journal and essentially MY forum; I will express my opinions and my feelings and you will NOT try to sensor me. You don't like it? Then damn you. And I don't need you in my life anyway. That being said, let me get on with it.
Draco and Perseus.... these sad two. Or should I call them Lindsay and Cathy? There is so much I have to say on the matter but I'd like to keep it as short as possible, for I don't believe they deserve the devotion of THAT much of my precious time. And believe me, my time IS precious, especially when time is money. Every moment I spend on the two of them, is a moment I spend not making money. But that's neither here nor there. I would like to address some recent events having to do with the costumed wonders..... and my aunt.
Yes, my aunt.
Lisa, I am sure you're searching for something. For most of your adult life, you seemed to be searching for something you've yet to find. Whatever "it" is, please know that the answer does not lie in these two.
I hate to do this in a public post, but it must be done. You've unfriended me everywhere possible and hold the costumed wonders in higher regard than you do your own family. What I'm going to say HAS to be said and if a public post in my livejournal is how it has to be done, so be it.
It's hard to be around you when you're all doom and gloom. When you're constantly capping on me for being the anti-Lisa and when I can't have an adult conversation with you. And it's especially difficult that I had to censor you from everything having to do with Wanda because in your mind, you're the good godmother and she's evil.
You know why she was "evil" to me for 6 years? Because I was a snotty, obnoxious, RUDE, self-centered, twatbag to her. She did and she did and she did for me and I came to a point in my life where I just started to be horrible to her. She didn't deserve that; I deserved to get the cold shoulder. It hurt, sure, but I'm not gonna lie when I say I'm glad she did it. Not only did it teach me to come into my own, but it also taught me what I needed to change in myself. It was what I needed to get my life in order. That doesn't make her evil. That's her doing what she knew was the best she could for me at that point and time. I will defend her and those actions till the death. You know why? Because in high school, when Dad was repeatedly coming after me and trying to kill me and EVERYONE else stood idly by and did nothing about it, Wanda stepped in. Wanda and Uncle David did everything in their power to keep me safe and out of his way. When I was told college probably would never be an option for me it was Wanda who encouraged me to fill out applications. Who offered to take me to see colleges... and who helped me fill out said applications. And who gave me a very good recommendation at my college of choice which I am just NOW finally getting to attend. When life was crazy and tumultuous at home (on a good day), they were my sanity. I know you hate that, but it's the God's honest truth. And anyone who could get me to believe again, get me back to church again (and enjoy myself), get me to listen to the gospels and the homilies and learn how to apply their meanings to my every day life deserves all the gratitude I have in me.
You told me your priest said you should be friends with Draco and Perseus again even after all the hurt they caused you. I don't believe that. You told me you were quite candid with your priest about everything that happened. I don't believe that either. I do believe, however, that he told you to make peace with what happened and to forgive them WITHIN YOURSELF so that you could move on with your life. By no means was he trying to say you three needed to run off and be BFF's.
You alienated your friends. Friends who stuck by you when these two destroyed your life. Friends who, truth be told, would probably still do anything for you if you found yourself in a real emergency. You alienated your family. Oh no, it's not just me dear. Everyone else is just much more willing to put up with your insanity. Ask my mom what her thoughts are on the topic. How about John Michael? I know his thoughts, but why don't you ask him? He thinks you're destroying your life. Ask your sister, though I know you really couldn't care less about her opinion. Ask your MOM. We're all worried because we can see this situation for what it is... and for everything that you can't see. You're gonna go up there and get bled dry, and really, have nobody left at home... and you don't seem to care. As far as I can tell, as long as you have them in your life, you're complete and nothing else matters.
You know first hand what a horrible individual Draco can be. Come on, really. You change your name to that of a fictional character and that's supposed to be some sort of pinnacle of mental stability? You HAVE to be kidding me. I've learned through people that Perseus used to be some semblance of normal before Draco's arrival.... but it went all down hill after that. As usual, everything Draco touches turns to shit.
You are giving up a hell of a lot to move up there with them and you don't even know it. But if you want to spend your life playing make believe, then so be it. Whatever blows your skirt up.
Now, as for Draco and Perseus or anyone else who may try to respond to this in defense of the Costumed Wonders telling me I am merely jealous, let it be known that I am not.
To be jealous of someone means they have something I do not. That I envy something about them. I envy nothing about these two. They live in a fantasy world based on Harry Potter. God forbid at 40 and 45 respectively, they should act like adults. Have real jobs. Not spend their existence in costumes.
I do not begrudge anyone who is a part of any fandom... as long as you remember who you are when you leave. I love Rocky Horror. I will be going to the convention in Atlantic City next month and I will most likely be dressed as Magenta. However when I leave that convention, I am Heather. When I am not in that costume, I am Heather. HEATHER is who I am. Magenta is merely a part of me.
I have been through a lot in my life. I have worked HARD to be where I am and I will continue to work hard all the way through law school. Nobody else is doing for me and why should I expect them to. I do not take hand outs and I hate asking for help. Rather than taking and taking and taking, like the Costumed Wonders (who see themselves as Godlike and feel the need to capitalize any and all pronouns), I give and give and give... Usually until I bleed MYSELF dry trying to help and do for those most important to me.
I am not a celebrity, but I am not unknown. I am well known and well liked in all my fields. I have done things that have made a difference in this world. I have helped to raise 4 beautiful children who I see so much of myself in. And as I continue to watch them grow and change and come into their own, I am consumed with pride. In them, I can see so much of the good I've done in my short 25 years. I am in law school and destined for great things. I will not settle for mediocrity. It's not an option.
I am happy. There is nothing that will ever in this world make me jealous or envious of these two, so don't you dare get it twisted. I'm just sick and tired of reading about all these people who think they're so fantastic and so giving and wonderful, when really, they don't even know the HALF of it.
And I'm done. 45 minutes spent writing this in my office is 45 minutes way too long. I've said my peace and I wash my hands of the entire situation.