it hurts...

[supreme_no_name]

It hurts...

I sit at my desk. In front of me there is a hersheys chocolate bar, peanut butter, ice cream, an oreo and most importantly some hot fudge.

I could eat the peanut butter... and nothing.

I could eat the ice cream... and nothing.

It is the rest that is the problem.

The plain hersheys chocolate bar, plain, real chocolate, in its purest form... kinda. Eating it, even smelling it hurts.

The oreo, eating it, even looking at it hurts.

The hot fudge, even hearing that word... fudge... doesnt just hurt, it kills me.

The thing about pain... the way the human body is designed, after enough pain your nerves will go dead. You wont feel the pain anymore. It wont hurt. It still kills you but you die easier.

I stare at these things... I hate love. I miss so greatly. It's over, completely.

Since it is over, i will force myself to eat, to look, to smell. I will take the pain... today, tomarrow, the next.
I will take the pain because i know one day it wont hurt anymore. My nerves will be dead and i will be in peace... hopefully.