(no subject)
i miss the way everything used to be
My life was absolutely positively perfect. I would come home on Friday and Saturday nights and know that I had my small group of friends who I would do ANYTHING for and who i didnt have to call and make plans with because it was just obvious that we would once again somehow end up being together. I miss all our memories and how me and my best friend would FLIP OUT when her mom let us hang out. I miss long walks to see them and always smiling because I knew that our friendship was infinite. But what i miss most of all is feeling like I belong somewhere. Everything ended this 1 night. It had to be one of the worst nights of my life. Everything came tumbling down and in the instant i changed. We didnt have what we used to and I dreaded going to school because I didnt want to see them. I started thriving for something which i thought would make me a better person and hoping that was what I really wanted. But its not. I am dissapointed to say that i got what i wanted. And i dont want it anymore. I Would do anything to rewind back a couple of months and change who Ive become. Im not who I used to be and I look at everything different. What I was going for turned out to be the exact opposite of what I wanted and now i dont know who I am anymore. I once again feel like I dont belong and I only have 1 person reminding me what I stand for and how amazing my life used to be. Everything around me is just a constant remind of what I lost and how I can never get it back.
ive realized you dont need popularity and clothes to be happy. You just need something in your life that makes you happy. That one thing for me would have to be my friends who i let slip out of my grip
I dont know what changed me and made me want to become a different person but thinking back i have lost so many people who always did their best to help me. Ive lost best friends and boyfriends and lost touch with people who were there for me when no one else was. Theres not much I can do now because theyre gone forever but if youre one of those people and youre reading this I want to tell you that Im sorry for treating you the way I did. I stomped over you to get to a higher place which turned out to be somewhere I dont want to be anymore. You didnt deserve what I did for you and if I could in any way make it up to you please tell me. Because it seems that i spend my nights remembering and longing for what I used to have.
I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS!
My life was absolutely positively perfect. I would come home on Friday and Saturday nights and know that I had my small group of friends who I would do ANYTHING for and who i didnt have to call and make plans with because it was just obvious that we would once again somehow end up being together. I miss all our memories and how me and my best friend would FLIP OUT when her mom let us hang out. I miss long walks to see them and always smiling because I knew that our friendship was infinite. But what i miss most of all is feeling like I belong somewhere. Everything ended this 1 night. It had to be one of the worst nights of my life. Everything came tumbling down and in the instant i changed. We didnt have what we used to and I dreaded going to school because I didnt want to see them. I started thriving for something which i thought would make me a better person and hoping that was what I really wanted. But its not. I am dissapointed to say that i got what i wanted. And i dont want it anymore. I Would do anything to rewind back a couple of months and change who Ive become. Im not who I used to be and I look at everything different. What I was going for turned out to be the exact opposite of what I wanted and now i dont know who I am anymore. I once again feel like I dont belong and I only have 1 person reminding me what I stand for and how amazing my life used to be. Everything around me is just a constant remind of what I lost and how I can never get it back.
ive realized you dont need popularity and clothes to be happy. You just need something in your life that makes you happy. That one thing for me would have to be my friends who i let slip out of my grip
I dont know what changed me and made me want to become a different person but thinking back i have lost so many people who always did their best to help me. Ive lost best friends and boyfriends and lost touch with people who were there for me when no one else was. Theres not much I can do now because theyre gone forever but if youre one of those people and youre reading this I want to tell you that Im sorry for treating you the way I did. I stomped over you to get to a higher place which turned out to be somewhere I dont want to be anymore. You didnt deserve what I did for you and if I could in any way make it up to you please tell me. Because it seems that i spend my nights remembering and longing for what I used to have.
I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS!