I can't believe I said "Ka-ching" TWICE to a customer.
Scene:
Customer is signing his credit slip. I am holding his credit card to check signature.
Me: Are you Armenian?
Customer: Yes.
Beat.
Customer: Are you?
Me: No.
Customer: How did you know I was Armenian then?
Me: Your last name is pretty Armenian.
Customer: What are you?
Me: Assyrian.
Beat.
Customer: My mother is Assyrian.
Me: What's her name?
Customer: Atour.
Me: Ka-ching.
Customer: Pardon?
Me: Nothing. I was just saying "Ka-ching" because that's the jackpot of all Assyrian names.
Customer: oh...okay.
Me: It's just a really super Nationalistic name. It literally means Assyria. Only hardcore parent's name their daughters Atour. I bet your grandparents were hardcore Assyrians.
Uncomfortable silence.
Me: There's your receipt. Have a nice weekend.
Customer: Yeah...you too.
He stared back at me a few times as he was walking away. Poor guy. I'm glad I didn't crack out the history books though.
And because I was super bored, I read the Assyrian Manifesto that Ivan Kakovitch wrote for the hundredth time. I really like it. It's not quite as entertaining as the Futurist Manifesto but it really makes me want to buy the last book he wrote before he died. I heard he was obsessed with the Simele Massacre, just as I am.
Because there are people out there who are obsessed with massacre's. We are them and all those dead people inhabit our minds endlessly. It's fun.
Customer is signing his credit slip. I am holding his credit card to check signature.
Me: Are you Armenian?
Customer: Yes.
Beat.
Customer: Are you?
Me: No.
Customer: How did you know I was Armenian then?
Me: Your last name is pretty Armenian.
Customer: What are you?
Me: Assyrian.
Beat.
Customer: My mother is Assyrian.
Me: What's her name?
Customer: Atour.
Me: Ka-ching.
Customer: Pardon?
Me: Nothing. I was just saying "Ka-ching" because that's the jackpot of all Assyrian names.
Customer: oh...okay.
Me: It's just a really super Nationalistic name. It literally means Assyria. Only hardcore parent's name their daughters Atour. I bet your grandparents were hardcore Assyrians.
Uncomfortable silence.
Me: There's your receipt. Have a nice weekend.
Customer: Yeah...you too.
He stared back at me a few times as he was walking away. Poor guy. I'm glad I didn't crack out the history books though.
And because I was super bored, I read the Assyrian Manifesto that Ivan Kakovitch wrote for the hundredth time. I really like it. It's not quite as entertaining as the Futurist Manifesto but it really makes me want to buy the last book he wrote before he died. I heard he was obsessed with the Simele Massacre, just as I am.
Because there are people out there who are obsessed with massacre's. We are them and all those dead people inhabit our minds endlessly. It's fun.