[Deceived, Yamada X Nakajima]
Title: Deceived
Author: Potcchan ( supot )
Genre: Angst
Type: One-shot
Pairing: Nakajima/Yamada, Takaki/Yamada, Nakajima/Okamoto
Summary: Yuto cheated.
POV: Yamada
A/N: From a true story, but not of the JUMP boys. :D
Disclaimer: If I owned them, Ryutaro would have been appearing on the stage more often. And Showa Heisei will be back. And I will be happy.
…and I was standing there still, eyes glued on the phone screen I’m holding. My hand is vibrating because of the strong grip I’m giving the poor thing. The tears would come soon, and so as him.
I have been with Nakajima Yuto for the longest time. Was it around two thousand seven? Yes, Ihttp://www.livejournal.com/editjournal.bml?journal=supot&itemid=1119 guess it was around the former Hey! Say! 7’s formation. Yuto is a very good person. I couldn’t ask for more, actually. Except that he’s overly hyper and sometimes annoys me, he’s actually pretty cute ne? Our relationship is strong and we are supported by all members. I have been associated with him, like when they’re looking for me, they’d go ask Yuto and the same goes for him.
But lately, we don’t hang out together anymore. We are rarely seen together and nobody asks me if I know where Yuto is. It seems like somebody knows the answer better than me. He would be seen with the other 7 members; while I’d be with Dai-chan. Nobody except me was bothered about it at all. Yabu-kun said that it’s normal for a relationship to have a dynamic and I believe him because his bond with Shoon is the best example. I hope that we could be like them. They are not in the same group anymore but they see to it that they see each other no matter how busy the other one is.
But my case with Yuto is a very different one. We are in the same group and we can’t find time to talk to each other. I can’t believe I’m saying this…but I’m asking for more. It’s weird isn’t it? I’m asking for more from a guy whom I cannot ask for anything more. But he never noticed. He never noticed the sad eyes I’m returning him whenever he’s smiling at me. He never noticed the awkward silence we had when walking home. However… somebody else noticed.
Takaki Yuya. Yes, he noticed. And he made it up to me for Yuto. He eats lunch with me, takes me to the amusement park during days off, and walks me home… all instead of Yuto. He does the things that Yuto should do and it somewhat makes me fulfilled. They are very different. Yuto is calm and peaceful when it comes to relationship while Takaki-kun is wild but sweet-like the feeling of riding a roller coaster. Your stomach feels so hallow, and you’re scared that it makes you scream… but you want it.
The biggest mistake I did in my life came to me not long ago. When Takaki-kun confessed to me, I accepted him.
I know it’s stupid. Takaki-kun knows it’s stupid too. But he said he’s willing to accept me despite of my relationship with Yuto, and I’m glad. Because of him, I feel like I don’t love Yuto as much as before, and he erased all the doubts I’m feeling back when I’m very much in love with Yuto. I thought its painful being with Yuto and I want to free the pain.
I sat on his bed. Yuto’s bed. I remained very quiet and I want my aura to tell him that whatever I’m saying won’t be good. Feeling uneasy, he turned on the music. The silence within the room is eerie and I can see his facial expression very well. It appears to me that he’s looking for an escape.
And he did. He went out to get snacks. It was their house after all and coming here isn’t anything unusual. I used to come here almost everyday but then the point came that I didn’t even want to visit their residence. His room arrangement has pretty much changed too and I can’t seem to find our photo hanging on the wall anymore.
I remained sitting, rehearsing the break-up speech I’ve prepared beforehand. Acting in a drama sure helps a lot. I almost smiled to myself with victory but was cut when Yuto’s phone on the table vibrated. I grabbed it with a bad feeling that something worse is about to come-worse than my attempt to break it up to him.
I stood up and flipped open his phone. It was a message from Keito. The message is very sweet, like a loving girlfriend to his boyfriend. It was short and simple: I hope you’re doing well! I hate day offs; I’m missing you a lot. Shall we go out somewhere? Call me back.
I never thought I would feel hurt from this. I know I shouldn’t be like this, but reading this message, I realized how painful it truly is. The doubts rushed back to my mind. And Takaki-kun isn’t here to help me. Nobody would come to my aid right now. I feel a stinging pain in my chest and I was standing there still, eyes glued on the phone screen I’m holding. My hand is vibrating because of the strong grip I’m giving the poor thing. The tears would come soon, and so as him.
The door flew open, and Yuto looked at me with unreadable eyes. He saw me holding his phone with tears in my eyes. He must know why I’m holding his phone. Moreover, he must know why there are tears in my eyes. Nobody spoke for a second or two, until finally; I’ve decided to say it.
“Yuto, wouldn’t it be for the best if we broke up?”
All the lines I’ve been rehearsing in my mind faded. Instead, an honest question slipped out my lips. I now fully understand that I love this guy very much, and it was a stupid idea cheating on him, not to mention planning to break up with him. I pushed the two of us to this corner, and we can’t breakfree unless we let each other go.
He rushed to me and grabbed the phone from my shaking hands. “Yama-chan, it’s not like that!” He rummaged through the e-mails he received and showed it to me one-by-one. He even showed me his sent mails, but I wasn’t even looking at it.
“So?” I raised a brow, acting all strong.
“So? Let’s not break up! Is it because of this?” Yuto threw the phone on the wall and it crashed into many several pieces. All of the shattered parts fell on his bed. I grew scared. I never thought Yuto would be like this, and I felt that he would hit me anytime. And I felt like I deserve it. I can feel the commotion Yuto’s family is having downstairs. I know they can hear our yelling to each other.
“It’s not because of that!” I shouted back at him. “I’ve been cheating on you…” Five words. Five words and I can see his world crash before his eyes. His eyes looked dead and tears escaped from them.
Yuto has always been gentle and warm to everyone but nobody else has seen him in this state except me. And nobody else has driven him mad like this except me. With all those words said, I grabbed the doorknob, sobbing, and decided I should leave-or atleast talk to him when we’re both calmer.
I was facing the door when I felt a force rush just exactly beside my head. I felt my face getting hotter because of excessive heart beat. Yes, I’m afraid. I thought he would punch me, but he punched the door instead. I looked at his fist-bleeding. Nobody else must feel more painful than him. I can’t even feel his pain and I hate myself for that.
“Don’t… leave me…” He said in a pleading, shaking exhausted voice.
I have been with Yuto for the longest time. During those times, I was the happiest person on earth. It may be selfish but, I want to continue feeling happy in Yuto’s arms, despite all this pain and doubt I’m feeling.
I faced him and enveloped him in a warm embrace. I love this guy very much and never shall I cheat on him again-or never shall I try to break up with him.
“I won’t leave you again…” And yes, I mean it.
***FIN.***
Author: Potcchan ( supot )
Genre: Angst
Type: One-shot
Pairing: Nakajima/Yamada, Takaki/Yamada, Nakajima/Okamoto
Summary: Yuto cheated.
POV: Yamada
A/N: From a true story, but not of the JUMP boys. :D
Disclaimer: If I owned them, Ryutaro would have been appearing on the stage more often. And Showa Heisei will be back. And I will be happy.
…and I was standing there still, eyes glued on the phone screen I’m holding. My hand is vibrating because of the strong grip I’m giving the poor thing. The tears would come soon, and so as him.
I have been with Nakajima Yuto for the longest time. Was it around two thousand seven? Yes, Ihttp://www.livejournal.com/editjournal.bml?journal=supot&itemid=1119 guess it was around the former Hey! Say! 7’s formation. Yuto is a very good person. I couldn’t ask for more, actually. Except that he’s overly hyper and sometimes annoys me, he’s actually pretty cute ne? Our relationship is strong and we are supported by all members. I have been associated with him, like when they’re looking for me, they’d go ask Yuto and the same goes for him.
But lately, we don’t hang out together anymore. We are rarely seen together and nobody asks me if I know where Yuto is. It seems like somebody knows the answer better than me. He would be seen with the other 7 members; while I’d be with Dai-chan. Nobody except me was bothered about it at all. Yabu-kun said that it’s normal for a relationship to have a dynamic and I believe him because his bond with Shoon is the best example. I hope that we could be like them. They are not in the same group anymore but they see to it that they see each other no matter how busy the other one is.
But my case with Yuto is a very different one. We are in the same group and we can’t find time to talk to each other. I can’t believe I’m saying this…but I’m asking for more. It’s weird isn’t it? I’m asking for more from a guy whom I cannot ask for anything more. But he never noticed. He never noticed the sad eyes I’m returning him whenever he’s smiling at me. He never noticed the awkward silence we had when walking home. However… somebody else noticed.
Takaki Yuya. Yes, he noticed. And he made it up to me for Yuto. He eats lunch with me, takes me to the amusement park during days off, and walks me home… all instead of Yuto. He does the things that Yuto should do and it somewhat makes me fulfilled. They are very different. Yuto is calm and peaceful when it comes to relationship while Takaki-kun is wild but sweet-like the feeling of riding a roller coaster. Your stomach feels so hallow, and you’re scared that it makes you scream… but you want it.
The biggest mistake I did in my life came to me not long ago. When Takaki-kun confessed to me, I accepted him.
I know it’s stupid. Takaki-kun knows it’s stupid too. But he said he’s willing to accept me despite of my relationship with Yuto, and I’m glad. Because of him, I feel like I don’t love Yuto as much as before, and he erased all the doubts I’m feeling back when I’m very much in love with Yuto. I thought its painful being with Yuto and I want to free the pain.
I sat on his bed. Yuto’s bed. I remained very quiet and I want my aura to tell him that whatever I’m saying won’t be good. Feeling uneasy, he turned on the music. The silence within the room is eerie and I can see his facial expression very well. It appears to me that he’s looking for an escape.
And he did. He went out to get snacks. It was their house after all and coming here isn’t anything unusual. I used to come here almost everyday but then the point came that I didn’t even want to visit their residence. His room arrangement has pretty much changed too and I can’t seem to find our photo hanging on the wall anymore.
I remained sitting, rehearsing the break-up speech I’ve prepared beforehand. Acting in a drama sure helps a lot. I almost smiled to myself with victory but was cut when Yuto’s phone on the table vibrated. I grabbed it with a bad feeling that something worse is about to come-worse than my attempt to break it up to him.
I stood up and flipped open his phone. It was a message from Keito. The message is very sweet, like a loving girlfriend to his boyfriend. It was short and simple: I hope you’re doing well! I hate day offs; I’m missing you a lot. Shall we go out somewhere? Call me back.
I never thought I would feel hurt from this. I know I shouldn’t be like this, but reading this message, I realized how painful it truly is. The doubts rushed back to my mind. And Takaki-kun isn’t here to help me. Nobody would come to my aid right now. I feel a stinging pain in my chest and I was standing there still, eyes glued on the phone screen I’m holding. My hand is vibrating because of the strong grip I’m giving the poor thing. The tears would come soon, and so as him.
The door flew open, and Yuto looked at me with unreadable eyes. He saw me holding his phone with tears in my eyes. He must know why I’m holding his phone. Moreover, he must know why there are tears in my eyes. Nobody spoke for a second or two, until finally; I’ve decided to say it.
“Yuto, wouldn’t it be for the best if we broke up?”
All the lines I’ve been rehearsing in my mind faded. Instead, an honest question slipped out my lips. I now fully understand that I love this guy very much, and it was a stupid idea cheating on him, not to mention planning to break up with him. I pushed the two of us to this corner, and we can’t breakfree unless we let each other go.
He rushed to me and grabbed the phone from my shaking hands. “Yama-chan, it’s not like that!” He rummaged through the e-mails he received and showed it to me one-by-one. He even showed me his sent mails, but I wasn’t even looking at it.
“So?” I raised a brow, acting all strong.
“So? Let’s not break up! Is it because of this?” Yuto threw the phone on the wall and it crashed into many several pieces. All of the shattered parts fell on his bed. I grew scared. I never thought Yuto would be like this, and I felt that he would hit me anytime. And I felt like I deserve it. I can feel the commotion Yuto’s family is having downstairs. I know they can hear our yelling to each other.
“It’s not because of that!” I shouted back at him. “I’ve been cheating on you…” Five words. Five words and I can see his world crash before his eyes. His eyes looked dead and tears escaped from them.
Yuto has always been gentle and warm to everyone but nobody else has seen him in this state except me. And nobody else has driven him mad like this except me. With all those words said, I grabbed the doorknob, sobbing, and decided I should leave-or atleast talk to him when we’re both calmer.
I was facing the door when I felt a force rush just exactly beside my head. I felt my face getting hotter because of excessive heart beat. Yes, I’m afraid. I thought he would punch me, but he punched the door instead. I looked at his fist-bleeding. Nobody else must feel more painful than him. I can’t even feel his pain and I hate myself for that.
“Don’t… leave me…” He said in a pleading, shaking exhausted voice.
I have been with Yuto for the longest time. During those times, I was the happiest person on earth. It may be selfish but, I want to continue feeling happy in Yuto’s arms, despite all this pain and doubt I’m feeling.
I faced him and enveloped him in a warm embrace. I love this guy very much and never shall I cheat on him again-or never shall I try to break up with him.
“I won’t leave you again…” And yes, I mean it.
***FIN.***