(no subject)
today was a mess, from the time i woke up, till the time i started to update this journal. i woke up and wanted a shower, i knew i had class today, and i knew i had to get a shower at some point before i left for class,let alone these classes are running me close to 700, so everyday i miss a class, everyday money goes down the drain. i didnt get a shower till 30 minutes before i left for class, then i couldn't find my hat, and we all know, justin doesnt go anywhere without out a hat, i was madder then hell and throwing the biggest fit i could, well i left the house without my hat, with a hoodie covering my hood the whole entire time. so i went to class, and im pretty sure, i totally bombed the whole fucking test, [which is okay] i can retake it, on tuesday. so i was fixing to leave class, and i get followed home by none other, then the fucking police dept, of this fucking city, i didnt get pulled over, but i always get paranoid when i have a piggy following me somewhere. Okay, so i get home and i was fixing to eat dinner, and i get online for just a few minutes, and i get drama. i can not stand where i get so worked up to the point where everything is chaotic and then i was gonna eat dinner, and i get it all over my damn self, so i said forget it, i don't fucking want it. well i was so upset, and my aunt trish had called and i was so upset i could not speak to her, so i handed the phone off to my mom, and my aunt trish is the biggest person, who can calm me down, after i freak out. so i was laying in bed, and Aubree had called, she's one person who's been in my life she's who shaped me, into who i am today, i would not give the world for her.
so here i am, looking back on the past, and i can say i miss it, but at the same time, im glad at where i am today. i've delt with alot in these past years, and im dealing with alot today, i wish my dad was here, to watch over me, and tell me 'thats my boy' here, i am taking these 'emt' classes, to become an emt, i have a three month rotation at goshen general hospital, i hope he's proud, im doing this because when he passed away, the doctors couldnt save his life, and just because they could not save his life, i want to save somone else's life, i want to make a huge impact in someone's life, i want to be able to look back and be like 'i saved that person's life' and have a meaning in life, i feel like this is my calling, this is my career goal, this is my life, i will not, let anything anyone get in the way of this. i wish my father was here, i want him to be the proud father that i can go home to and talk to about my day.
i have alot of work ahead of me, for the next six months, this will be my life, i will eat sleep and learn this. Aubree, you will always be the girl, who shaped me into who i am today, the girl who i will always worship the ground you walk on, you are my best friend, you are my everything, no matter if you with another boy or not. Auburee, i told you along time ago, you had my heart, and to this day, you will always have my heart, no matter what. thanks for always standing behind me, when i needed a backbone, when i needed someone to cry to.
My dad is a huge part of my life, i have his initials tattooed on me, for a reason, he will forever be my hero, the reason i get up and do what i do, everyday, he is my strength, he always told me to believe in myself, and here i am, almost twenty four years old and finally doing something with my life. i love you father, even though i cant save your life, ill always save your soul, your name, in my heart.
Aubree, i love you, always
& ill end it, on im in a better mood. and im gonna go finish this vocab, and laydown and talk to you, <3
so here i am, looking back on the past, and i can say i miss it, but at the same time, im glad at where i am today. i've delt with alot in these past years, and im dealing with alot today, i wish my dad was here, to watch over me, and tell me 'thats my boy' here, i am taking these 'emt' classes, to become an emt, i have a three month rotation at goshen general hospital, i hope he's proud, im doing this because when he passed away, the doctors couldnt save his life, and just because they could not save his life, i want to save somone else's life, i want to make a huge impact in someone's life, i want to be able to look back and be like 'i saved that person's life' and have a meaning in life, i feel like this is my calling, this is my career goal, this is my life, i will not, let anything anyone get in the way of this. i wish my father was here, i want him to be the proud father that i can go home to and talk to about my day.
i have alot of work ahead of me, for the next six months, this will be my life, i will eat sleep and learn this. Aubree, you will always be the girl, who shaped me into who i am today, the girl who i will always worship the ground you walk on, you are my best friend, you are my everything, no matter if you with another boy or not. Auburee, i told you along time ago, you had my heart, and to this day, you will always have my heart, no matter what. thanks for always standing behind me, when i needed a backbone, when i needed someone to cry to.
My dad is a huge part of my life, i have his initials tattooed on me, for a reason, he will forever be my hero, the reason i get up and do what i do, everyday, he is my strength, he always told me to believe in myself, and here i am, almost twenty four years old and finally doing something with my life. i love you father, even though i cant save your life, ill always save your soul, your name, in my heart.
Aubree, i love you, always
& ill end it, on im in a better mood. and im gonna go finish this vocab, and laydown and talk to you, <3