SO SAD.

Jun 15, 2006 01:41

so today was like, day 1 of preparation for the wedding..everyone had to set up chairs and tables at the reception place. and like, when it was all said and done, we were all just kind of sitting around talking..and everyone kind of cliqued off? hahah. like the guys and the girls. and i was sitting with my mom, autumn, and my sister..and i was talking about how i don't think i'm ever going to be married and autumn was like, "me too. oh wait, my husband is right over there." [referring to the guy she is "talking to nonchalantly" as she puts it lmfao] and i was like, "yeah mine's back there." and i showed her and she goes, "he's married." and i lipped his name and she was like, "yeah." and i go, "i don't get it." and she goes, "not literally, but he has a really serious girlfriend." and i like, lost it.

like, i can cope with the fact on my own, but to hear someone else say it just idkkk..upsets me. and i was already teary eyed before thinking of my husbandless future lmfao..and then i just kinda lost it. but to myself. and i kept talking like nothing was wrong..but then a few minutes later everyone got up and i decided i need some fresh air..and my brother and him and a bunch of other guys were sitting on a table and i walked past and i was crying and he looked at me and i acted like i didn't see him..and as i was walking out i looked in the reflexion of the door and he looked back at me and i was like, hysterical. like i went outside and cried loud for like, a minute, and then got over it and hung out in the sanctuary with the rest of the crew hahaha. but like, idk, it kind of just hit me all at once. &i have a feeling that saturday i'm going to be crying for other reasons besides it's my brother's big day..and like my cousin told me, there's going to be the one person that realizes why i'm still crying even after the wedding is said and done..and i'm putting money on it that that person is my sister.

but yeah. tomorrow is like, personal preparation haha..nails, eyebrow waxing, stuff like that..and then friday is rehearsal and saturday is the wedding so AH. i'm so not prepared in more than one bad way. =(
Previous post Next post
Up
[]