(no subject)
Recently I was told that Albert Einstien once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.
Chad and I are back together. We have been for a few months now. Despite some words and advice from friends. Things are going really well too. In the bottom of my guts I know I will forever be linked to him. We have a really good line of communication now, better than it has ever been. I love him. He loves me. Flaws, mistakes, pet peeves, charms and all.
I'm over at my father's house. He's in Erie, Pennsylvania for the summer. I desperately need to get the internet at home. Sometimes when I actually get the opportunity to use it...I'm at a total loss. I used to spend hours on the computer. Now it's like I'm a beginner or something?
Last week I turned 28 years old. TWENTY FUCKING EIGHT!! I also took the entire week off from work. That Monday, Chad, Sean and I went to see Monday Night Raw at Nationwide Arena. I've seen wrestling events before, but never Raw. Chad was on the right side of me, but on the left was the little boy, maybe eight years old, named Zach. It was his first event, and just watching him experiencing it was half the fun for me.
During my vacation I also met with the Director of Administration for Nationwide Beauty Academy. I'm finally going to do it. I'm FINALLY getting off my ass and going to school. I still haven't decided if I will go full-time or part-time. If I go full-time, I will have to quit my job and then get some part-time job. Chad's employment is good and he makes good money, so if I have get another job making less money things will still be okay.
I saw Matt too. There are so many things I wish and want to say to him. But he's so combative at times, and he's not the kind of guy you talk about your feelings to. But it's not like we were even "boyfriend and girlfriend". He knew that. I knew that. I just feel like I left that situation in a bad way, and that I need to offer some explanation to him. Like I owe him that. It wont ever happen though.
Diana and I were supposed to go sky diving last Wednesday. She also had the entire week off. But due to my money situation at the time, we post-poned it until June 13th. Let me tell you how excited I am about this! I can't wait. It's going to be an experience of a life-time.
Before my vacation I was totally slacking off at work. I was late frequently, I had a bad attitude, I wasn't open to constructive criticism, I hated everyone...I just plain hated being there. It was like pulling teeth for me. Which was a main motivator to start the school thing. But on Monday, when I returned, I was back on point. I was getting things done early, being very positive, and actually ready to work. And just within a few days my stats have improved, along with my overall outlook.
My best friend, Ryan, is heart broken over his ex-girlfriend, girlfriend, whatever, Jennifer. I mean he is crushed. I've never seen him be this emotional over a girl before. When we dated, WAY back in the day, like over ten years ago back in the day, our break up was pretty bad. But it was an angry break-up. Nothing like he's dealing with now. They were dating, then they weren't because she "didn't want a boyfriend." But then she had some guy from online within days. Then that fell through and she went back to Ryan. They dated some more, they even moved into a house together. Then all of a sudden she wasn't ready for that type of relationship and commitment. He moved out, yet they still saw each other. Then gradually she just started fading away. Giving him the same lines, the same bullshit pillow talk. She tells him she loves him, and that they have this great connection, but she's "just not ready." But now all of a sudden she has a guy. He's even staying the night with her. She's feeding Ryan all this crap about the new guy just being her friend. He's totally fucked in the head over her now. She says one thing to him, but does another. I told him to kick her ass to the curb. He's a great guy and he doesn't deserve that. I told him that I thought she was just keeping him as a back up. He's just not the same jovial, happy, fun, Ryan anymore. I can hear it in his voice, I can see it in his face. I know he's not going to take my advice. He wants to win her back or something. This shit with them has been going on for a year now. Hahah..as I type this I'm thinking to myself...who am I REALLY to give relationship advice to anyone? Every relationship (and repeats) that I ever have are usually totally fucked. I just want him to be happy...and he's not now, and it concerns me greatly.
Whew...that was a lot! There's more I want to write about, there's more on my mind. But it's late. Or early? One of the two and I need to get my ass to bed. Wait...speaking of ass. Mine is way smaller now. I've lost a lot of weight..and not to sound conceited..but I am looking damn fine lately. Okay, okay...I really am done with my fit now.
Chad and I are back together. We have been for a few months now. Despite some words and advice from friends. Things are going really well too. In the bottom of my guts I know I will forever be linked to him. We have a really good line of communication now, better than it has ever been. I love him. He loves me. Flaws, mistakes, pet peeves, charms and all.
I'm over at my father's house. He's in Erie, Pennsylvania for the summer. I desperately need to get the internet at home. Sometimes when I actually get the opportunity to use it...I'm at a total loss. I used to spend hours on the computer. Now it's like I'm a beginner or something?
Last week I turned 28 years old. TWENTY FUCKING EIGHT!! I also took the entire week off from work. That Monday, Chad, Sean and I went to see Monday Night Raw at Nationwide Arena. I've seen wrestling events before, but never Raw. Chad was on the right side of me, but on the left was the little boy, maybe eight years old, named Zach. It was his first event, and just watching him experiencing it was half the fun for me.
During my vacation I also met with the Director of Administration for Nationwide Beauty Academy. I'm finally going to do it. I'm FINALLY getting off my ass and going to school. I still haven't decided if I will go full-time or part-time. If I go full-time, I will have to quit my job and then get some part-time job. Chad's employment is good and he makes good money, so if I have get another job making less money things will still be okay.
I saw Matt too. There are so many things I wish and want to say to him. But he's so combative at times, and he's not the kind of guy you talk about your feelings to. But it's not like we were even "boyfriend and girlfriend". He knew that. I knew that. I just feel like I left that situation in a bad way, and that I need to offer some explanation to him. Like I owe him that. It wont ever happen though.
Diana and I were supposed to go sky diving last Wednesday. She also had the entire week off. But due to my money situation at the time, we post-poned it until June 13th. Let me tell you how excited I am about this! I can't wait. It's going to be an experience of a life-time.
Before my vacation I was totally slacking off at work. I was late frequently, I had a bad attitude, I wasn't open to constructive criticism, I hated everyone...I just plain hated being there. It was like pulling teeth for me. Which was a main motivator to start the school thing. But on Monday, when I returned, I was back on point. I was getting things done early, being very positive, and actually ready to work. And just within a few days my stats have improved, along with my overall outlook.
My best friend, Ryan, is heart broken over his ex-girlfriend, girlfriend, whatever, Jennifer. I mean he is crushed. I've never seen him be this emotional over a girl before. When we dated, WAY back in the day, like over ten years ago back in the day, our break up was pretty bad. But it was an angry break-up. Nothing like he's dealing with now. They were dating, then they weren't because she "didn't want a boyfriend." But then she had some guy from online within days. Then that fell through and she went back to Ryan. They dated some more, they even moved into a house together. Then all of a sudden she wasn't ready for that type of relationship and commitment. He moved out, yet they still saw each other. Then gradually she just started fading away. Giving him the same lines, the same bullshit pillow talk. She tells him she loves him, and that they have this great connection, but she's "just not ready." But now all of a sudden she has a guy. He's even staying the night with her. She's feeding Ryan all this crap about the new guy just being her friend. He's totally fucked in the head over her now. She says one thing to him, but does another. I told him to kick her ass to the curb. He's a great guy and he doesn't deserve that. I told him that I thought she was just keeping him as a back up. He's just not the same jovial, happy, fun, Ryan anymore. I can hear it in his voice, I can see it in his face. I know he's not going to take my advice. He wants to win her back or something. This shit with them has been going on for a year now. Hahah..as I type this I'm thinking to myself...who am I REALLY to give relationship advice to anyone? Every relationship (and repeats) that I ever have are usually totally fucked. I just want him to be happy...and he's not now, and it concerns me greatly.
Whew...that was a lot! There's more I want to write about, there's more on my mind. But it's late. Or early? One of the two and I need to get my ass to bed. Wait...speaking of ass. Mine is way smaller now. I've lost a lot of weight..and not to sound conceited..but I am looking damn fine lately. Okay, okay...I really am done with my fit now.