que ridiculo
I'm having trouble keeping it together. I've been losing everything, and I'm extremely depressed about it, and I feel like I'm drowning in school, especially physics. I think I'm just retarded at this subject, I can't apply or even retain anything. I've never had this much trouble with anything else.
A lot of times, when I feel overwhelmed, I find that things tend to fall into place. Not always perfectly, but everything ends up manageable. Not so much now.
And I feel the same about college. Yes, I can get accepted to alright colleges, but we can't pay for any of it. I kinda doubt that that's going to solve itself. Even with the money they give, I'm not good enough to get a full ride most places, I can't count on finiancial aid for too much, and most scholarships just bring more expensive colleges' prices down to about the price of a not-so-expensive college, which is still too much, with room and board and all
And not that I'm knocking going to a local college, but living at home and commuting would be terrible for me. I don't do anything at home, I don't know how I'd get work done. I don't know how I'd grow up, or meet new people, or ever find a job or do anything with my life.
Midterms kind of snuck up on me. I don't think I'm ready at all. Luckily calc is the only serious one I have this week, but physics is coming up quickly.
Kinda disappointed with myself the last 2 days with swimming. I didn't pace myself well today, and I didn't do well at all at MVCs. But the rest of the whole swim team bit has been great this year. I can't wait for the pasta party, but it will be wierd not having it at Haley's house.