(no subject)

[supertuls]

ive spent the whole summer rebelling at the thought of being an adult. i've spent it wishing that now was last summer and that everything was just as it used to be. i've put so much effort into staying 16 or 17 that i didnt even see what was happening to me this summer. i know every summer can't be as amazing and fufilling as the past two have been, but this one has been just in a really different way. last night at work i was doing somethign in the back and i was just thinking and moping at how i feel like ive been working 24/7 this summer and i've lost touch with all my friends but i realized that as corny as it sounds im not a little kid anymore. i know i havent been a little kid in a while but this is something different. knowing that i can support myself and being able to easily relate with like 28 year olds as my equals and not as someone 9 years older than me and having a job and all teh responsibility that comes with it has been the best thing ever for me. i've been so scared for so long to grow up. moving out, getting a job, going to college?, all of that was such a scary prospect until last night. i can handle myself. i dont need my parents anymore. and that is so weird but awesome at the same time. and its also so weird to think that working at carrabbas is some peoples career. like for me im like weee fun summer job but for like jeff and george and bill and everyone its like a life long thing. its nice to have perspective like that sometimes. sucess isnt necessarily measured by ivy league undergrad and graduate school then some amazing high profile job in business. just making it is being sucessful. and if you work hard enough you can make it. or try to at least. dont get me started on the level of taxes placed on the lowest income bracket...which would be me. out of 407 dollars i made last pay period like almost 100 went to the government. and i know my stepdad bitches about paying taxes because he makes a lot more money than i do but its like come on rich white men..cough up a little more so the people at the bottom dont have to carry your tax burden.

okay well im off. i didnt mean to update on this thing but i cant find my paper journal and i had to get this off my chest. maybe ill start updating more in here...who knows we'll see