Maslow's hierarchy of jobs?
I was reading rosefox's post about not feeling like a writer because they don't identify with the narratives of not being able to do anything else/being so passionate about it/driven/attacked by muses. And I had many thoughts! (Surprising no one!) So many they didn't fit in a comment. So then I thought I could post in my own journal, which ok, I know is a
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I feel like the whole college thing is so weird, too. Like, we're supposed to pick what to study without anyone really telling us what it's GOOD for. My boss recently told me he thought I'd do really well at a business masters if I ever decided I wanted one - and then we talked about me taking some classes, since as he said, normally he recommends Ivy or nothing because it's at least as much about connections, but for me, since it would be about me improving at the job I already have, it would be actually about learning the things. But like...business degrees seemed useless and douche-y! Particularly if you wanted anything other than finance shit? And now I am learning there are entire fields devoted to studying management of people, management of projects, management of companies, understanding how to decide budgets and figure out how to deal with the finances of running a company and marketing and production and digital startups and and. AND that all of these things go into the making of books! It's not just sitting around writing or maybe editing.
And part of me freaks out that I've closed off doors - or at least made them harder to get through - without even realising that they existed! What if they were a thing I wanted, but because I didn't realise they existed to pursue, I didn't make myself an attractive candidate for them? But also it's this pressure now to think of the things I'm doing in terms of all the places it could lead, now that I realise how many more places there are!
And then still wrestling with whether it makes me feel like I am not "fulfilling my potential" or being awesome enough - or honestly even interesting enough for my friends - to not be doing one of these magical "creative" jobs.
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My ENTIRE public school life I got two comments on EVERY report card: "Evie is a delight to have in class," and "Evie is not working up to her potential." Um I already had A's, exactly what did they want me to do!?
I have this interesting push/pull with potential and what I expect from myself and my energy levels and... *argh*
I actually have a minor in Organizational Psychology (Business Psych) and took a class where I learned about how to write job descriptions and such not. Many of the people in that class were heading for an MBA type future. I get the impression that an MBA is MUCH more versatile than what we typically think it is. It covers a ton of management and administrative stuff as well. Do you ever get the black/white thinking with ADD? Perhaps that is affecting how you see an Business degree? Also, RE your boss and Ivy or nothing: yeah the point would have been connections but since I DIDN'T make the connections and all I have is the paper I might as well have gone to the cheaper, easier school and then at least had a good GPA! Oh well.
Also, I think I mentioned I'm a tutor? Well, we're currently working on poetry and just got Robert Frost's "The Road Less Traveled." I remember it from high school and I understood it and thought it was nice then; reading it now was like a punch in the gut! Go read it if you haven't recently.
I don't know if this will apply to you but you might find it interesting?
http://www.raptitude.com/2011/05/procrastination-is-not-laziness/
Edit: Also despite my own personal procrastination and problems with a messy house I think I would be an excellent Project Manager. I like schedules and color-coded whatsits and chasing people down for their bits and translating between the engineers "we need $$$ material because XYZ" to the finance people "but WHYYYYY?!" but how on earth do you go about GETTING that job? Work your way up from being the engineer or the finance person I guess? But I wouldn't be good at THOSE jobs. I'm good at the people management portion! Let me know if you come up with a magical solution. ;) Also, I think I will have to quiz you on your current job as it sounds fascinating. Perhaps by PM or google messages or some such? Need to run to work now. I'm there until after 8pm eastern so if I don't reply you know why!
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