I'm trying to kill Sandy
And it seems to be working. Although I'm thinking now in retrospect that I should have sent instructions on the envelope that said "immediately place fingers in warm water bath". Hmmm. There's always next time....muahahahahaha......
Here it is:
I have recently (today) formed the opinion that Stephanie is trying to kill me. I could be wrong but let me provide the evidence. My camera isn't working (apparently they need batteries nowadays).
The Super in my building gave me a package that he signed for on Friday (because he's an idiot, I get it two days late). It was from Stephanie. I got very excited. I knew it was going to be something nice... who knew what? Maybe kittens? Okay, not kittens.
But there was a little kitty cat in there. It was a kitty cat that Steph gave me and I forgot when I came back to Australia. Anyway... I saw it and reached in to fetch it out of the padded bag and then I thought OW... not ow, but OW. BIG OW. I drew out a bloody finger, I was going to say bloody stump, but... yeah, not quite. Then... because I could never be accused of being the brightest person alive, I put my hand in again. No, not that hand, the other hand. The same thing happened again. Really. So now I had two bleeding fingers on two hands and a chapter to complete and a website to finish. Oh wait, this is whinging, let me get back to the story. By this time I knew that there was something that I should be cautious about. I tipped the contents out onto the floor. Two jagged pieces of bloody glass, a split up frame and a photograph... the evidence!
It's a lovely photo, and apparently it got broken in transit. Is that what happened Steph? Is that what you expect me to think happened? Come on, admit it, you're trying to kill me. With kittens and pretty photos!!!!!!!! EVIL. evil.
But thanks for the thought!!!
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