In memory of Prince...
So I know this isn't really a great way to start off a journal, but oh well... It's instances like this that give you reason to spill.
So I got some pretty sad news yesterday from my mom that my horse "Prince" died on Saturday. It seems he got himself tangled in our fence early in the morning and my sister found him dead later that afternoon. We had only owned him for about 4 years, but that was long enough to get attached. I was with my friend Robbie when I found out, and I was upset, but tried not to make a big deal out of it. Now, it's all I can think about. It makes it especially hard that I can't be home. Since I've been at school for the past 2 years, I hadn't had much interaction with Prince but it's going to be so hard the next time I go home. He won't be there...running up to the fence to greet me, chewing on my hair, or stepping on my feet (which he loved to do!), making me chase him through the field. Ok I need to stop that...that's just making me feel worse now.
After I found out about his death, there were constant reminders everywhere. Maybe they were just more obvious because it was on my mind, but somehow horses always came up in conversations and I would just phase out in my thoughts. I even had a dream about him the other night. Good memories first then my imagination running away as if I was there when the accident happened. I still gives me the creeps. I guess only time will help because I don't think we're going to be getting a new horse. If we do, it won't be anytime soon since we are moving this next year.
I want to cry right now... I need to go to bed since I have class tomrrow morning at 7:30 am, but I can't sleep now. My mind is racing and my emotions are screwed up...god! What's wrong with me...??...I'm not like this. And why do I pretend that this doesn't affect me when I'm around people, but cry myself to sleep when I'm alone? Robbie asked me if I was ok tonight...why did I say yes??
Ok...I need to stop and try and get some sleep. At this rate, I could go on forever...I'm done now...
So I got some pretty sad news yesterday from my mom that my horse "Prince" died on Saturday. It seems he got himself tangled in our fence early in the morning and my sister found him dead later that afternoon. We had only owned him for about 4 years, but that was long enough to get attached. I was with my friend Robbie when I found out, and I was upset, but tried not to make a big deal out of it. Now, it's all I can think about. It makes it especially hard that I can't be home. Since I've been at school for the past 2 years, I hadn't had much interaction with Prince but it's going to be so hard the next time I go home. He won't be there...running up to the fence to greet me, chewing on my hair, or stepping on my feet (which he loved to do!), making me chase him through the field. Ok I need to stop that...that's just making me feel worse now.
After I found out about his death, there were constant reminders everywhere. Maybe they were just more obvious because it was on my mind, but somehow horses always came up in conversations and I would just phase out in my thoughts. I even had a dream about him the other night. Good memories first then my imagination running away as if I was there when the accident happened. I still gives me the creeps. I guess only time will help because I don't think we're going to be getting a new horse. If we do, it won't be anytime soon since we are moving this next year.
I want to cry right now... I need to go to bed since I have class tomrrow morning at 7:30 am, but I can't sleep now. My mind is racing and my emotions are screwed up...god! What's wrong with me...??...I'm not like this. And why do I pretend that this doesn't affect me when I'm around people, but cry myself to sleep when I'm alone? Robbie asked me if I was ok tonight...why did I say yes??
Ok...I need to stop and try and get some sleep. At this rate, I could go on forever...I'm done now...