Blargh!
Yet another update. It's all out of peer pressure... you know, like, sex, drugs, myspace.. Anyways.. I've seriously started to consider a job with Starbucks. I think it would be fun to make coffee.. plus, there's a few cool benefits, like a free pound-o-beans every week.
Kelly and I resolved our problems forever. And she gave me something. ^^ And I gave her peace of mind. Must be nice!
Sorry to anyone who had to hear me be all bitchy the past few days.. I'm feeling out of the whole 'no-don't-worry-people-actually-like-you' state of mind. Yeah, I know. I have lots of friends... but I'm not sure if half of them even care about me. I guess maybe it's because I don't call other people a lot.. I'm used to having people call and say 'we're doing this, are you in?' Plus, when I plan stuff, it turns out lame or doesn't work at all. And then there's my parents. Oh, my parents. This IS summer, right? Then why does it feel like I have a school curfew? My parents bitch about everything to me. They bitch about who I am friends with. (Allen? Isn't he that weird kid? Or how about when my mom tried to tell me not to talk to Kelly?) Sometimes I just want to scream 'fuck you' to them. But who hasn't felt that way? Agh, it's just that every time someone wants to do something nowadays, my mom either gives a fucking weak excuse or refers me to my dad, who after possibly questioning himself as to whether or not I am a rapist (yes, I strongly believe that my dad thinks I fuck everything in sight), denies me any chance of fun-timeys. And I get all my friends to do the group 'ugh..' It's so lame. No one likes my parents because it's always their fault that I can't do anything. BLAH! I sound like a fucking 13-year-old! What am I doing? No one wants to read this shit!
I'M TIRED OF NOT BEING FREE
I'M TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING TOLD 'NO'
I'm sick of being the smart one
Sick of the senior project
Of Mr. Anke, and I haven't even started that damned report
Of mom and dad, because if I'm not doing everything they were expected to do during their Alcatraz-esque childhoods
Of my brother when he freaks out for no good reason
Of writing in this journal. For now.
Kelly and I resolved our problems forever. And she gave me something. ^^ And I gave her peace of mind. Must be nice!
Sorry to anyone who had to hear me be all bitchy the past few days.. I'm feeling out of the whole 'no-don't-worry-people-actually-like-you' state of mind. Yeah, I know. I have lots of friends... but I'm not sure if half of them even care about me. I guess maybe it's because I don't call other people a lot.. I'm used to having people call and say 'we're doing this, are you in?' Plus, when I plan stuff, it turns out lame or doesn't work at all. And then there's my parents. Oh, my parents. This IS summer, right? Then why does it feel like I have a school curfew? My parents bitch about everything to me. They bitch about who I am friends with. (Allen? Isn't he that weird kid? Or how about when my mom tried to tell me not to talk to Kelly?) Sometimes I just want to scream 'fuck you' to them. But who hasn't felt that way? Agh, it's just that every time someone wants to do something nowadays, my mom either gives a fucking weak excuse or refers me to my dad, who after possibly questioning himself as to whether or not I am a rapist (yes, I strongly believe that my dad thinks I fuck everything in sight), denies me any chance of fun-timeys. And I get all my friends to do the group 'ugh..' It's so lame. No one likes my parents because it's always their fault that I can't do anything. BLAH! I sound like a fucking 13-year-old! What am I doing? No one wants to read this shit!
I'M TIRED OF NOT BEING FREE
I'M TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING TOLD 'NO'
I'm sick of being the smart one
Sick of the senior project
Of Mr. Anke, and I haven't even started that damned report
Of mom and dad, because if I'm not doing everything they were expected to do during their Alcatraz-esque childhoods
Of my brother when he freaks out for no good reason
Of writing in this journal. For now.